


keep this love (in a photograph)

by carissima



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Firefighter Liam, M/M, Photographer Zayn, the narry is very much a side pairing, there's also mentions of eleanor/louis but she never appears oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:36:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 64,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3373220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carissima/pseuds/carissima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So Liam asked you to slide down his pole then?" Harry yells over the music.</p><p>Zayn nods for a second before he starts frowning. “Wait, no, not like that! He was being nice!”</p><p>"You’ve called Liam nice like, ten thousand billion times tonight," Harry points out. "You fancy him!"</p><p> "Do not," Zayn protests. His head feels heavy so he lets it drop onto Harry’s shoulder. "He’s just -"</p><p> "Nice?" Harry supplies unhelpfully.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Or the one where Liam's a fireman, Zayn's a photographer and yeah, there's a calendar shoot or two involved.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	keep this love (in a photograph)

**Author's Note:**

> a very big thank you to aimee for the advice and the read through. and a HUGE thank you to bee for the picture edits and the beta, you are my star.
> 
> just a quick warning: i in no way intended to write zayn with an eating disorder, but i'm gonna warn here for slightly unhealthy eating habits.

Zayn adjusts the focal distance on his camera and takes another shot of the wild rose that's growing in the middle of a field of wild flowers. He's lying on the sun-warm grass and it's completely silent except for the occasional whir of the camera as he takes his shot.

"Did you get it this time?" Harry asks, keeping his voice down low as he stretches out next to Zayn.

"Think so," Zayn murmurs. There's no need to keep their voices down since it's just the two of them and Zayn's way past the stage of needing to work in complete silence to avoid being distracted but they do it anyway. It adds to the ambience, Zayn thinks as he rolls onto his back and hands the camera over to Harry, who slides it neatly back into its case. "Job done."

Harry flops back down beside him and they both stare up at the clear blue August sky. It's warm for August and they're both dressed in shorts and t-shirts, although Harry's pale yellow shorts are almost indecently tiny while Zayn's denim shorts reach his knees. He's used to Harry's slightly odd style of dress by now after almost a year of working together.

"What's the next one then?" Harry asks. For an assistant, Harry's woefully unorganised sometimes and he mostly has to be herded around by Zayn, whose own organisational skills are pretty limited. But Harry's got a great eye. He sometimes finds an angle that Zayn hasn't even considered, and Harry keeps Zayn amused when he's not frustrating the hell out of him. They're opposites, but they work well together.

"There's nothing in the diary," Zayn says with a content sigh. It's the first break in the schedule they've had in three months and Zayn's looking forward to doing absolutely nothing. "There's that shoot in Scotland but that's not for a few weeks."

"A holiday!" Harry says dreamily and claps his hands together. He rolls over onto his front and grins cheerfully at Zayn. It's infectious enough to make Zayn smile and he gives Harry a gentle shove. "Zayn Malik is actually taking a holiday. We should mark the occasion."

"Yeah, we're not getting cakes, Harry." Zayn's well aware of Harry's penchant to make or buy cakes to celebrate whatever the hell Harry feels like celebrating. They shared a tiny Victoria Sponge two weeks ago because Harry saw a double rainbow and went a bit giddy over it. It's not even the most ridiculous thing they've shared cake over.

"Fiiiine," Harry says. He's pouting.

The vibration of Zayn's phone in his pocket is a welcome distraction. He fishes it out to see his agent's name flashing at him.

"Hey Ed." Zayn closes his eyes to block out the view of Harry making fish faces at him. "No, yeah, I've got a few weeks free."

"No, we had a _holiday_ , Zayn!" Harry whines quietly next to him.

Zayn ignores him. "A calendar? No yeah, I mean I've only done six in the past two months, always room for another one."

He reminds himself that he's not nearly comfortable enough financially or professionally to turn down work as he listens to Ed tell him about the charity calendar.

"Yeah, of course, for charity. No, that sounds fine. Of course I'll waive my fee for charity. Can you send me the details? And the contact? Yeah, perfect. Thanks man."

He hangs up and they lie in silence for a while.

"So no holiday then."

"Guess not," Zayn says morosely. "No fee either."

Apart from this book assignment, Zayn's been doing calendars for most of the summer. It's not the most exciting assignment he gets, but it pays the bills. Usually.

"So what's the subject?" Harry asks. "Oh, is it food? That cupcake one was amazing!"

"Only because you got to eat your way through the months," Zayn says wryly. He's having flashbacks to Harry running around high on sugar and pink frosting coating his upper lip.

"Oh and the duck one, that was my favourite," Harry says dreamily.

"You almost drowned," Zayn points out dryly. They'd both ended up drenched from head to foot and it's definitely in Zayn's top ten least favourite shoots ever. Mostly because he can't swim and Harry had fallen into the pond when he'd tried to shoo a duckling over towards Zayn's camera. Zayn had waded in to rescue Harry and Zayn had been lucky to not lose or damage any equipment. But they'd both wound up bedraggled and Harry had caught a cold that had him whining at Zayn for weeks. Zayn's made a personal promise to refuse any jobs from now on that include large bodies of water.

"So what is it then?" Harry's got a long blade of grass in his mouth that he's chewing on and Zayn winces but he keeps his thoughts on wild animals and peeing to himself.

"Firemen," Zayn says eventually. It's so cliché that it feels ridiculous to even say it but on the other hand, it's been a while since Zayn's photographed anything that can walk and hold a conversation and hopefully listen to direction.

"Firemen," Harry says wistfully. "Gorgeous hunks who save lives. Doing a calendar for charity."

"Yeah yeah, they're all selfless, wonderful human beings and the rest of us are terrible, horrible people," Zayn mutters. And yeah he's being a bit unfair but honestly. How are normal guys meant to compete when there are real heroes in the world making Zayn feel a bit shit about himself? "Give me the camera so I can get a few extra shoots in case the publisher needs them."

Once he's got his camera in his hands and he can focus on the scenery through his lens, it's a lot easier to ignore Harry.

"I wonder if they'll let me slide down their pole," Harry's saying brightly. "And play with their hoses."

This is one assignment that Zayn's _not_ looking forward to.

*

By the time Zayn gets home, it's almost dark. He flicks the lights on as he heads through the house, dropping his camera onto the table in the studio he had fitted out in the back room. He's owned the house for almost two years now and he's invested a fair amount of money getting it just how he wants it. It's only a small two bed house in the middle of a nice neighbourhood, but it suits Zayn's needs perfectly.

Besides, a bigger house would feel even more empty than this one already does.

The studio though is big and airy, thanks to the extension Zayn built at the back of the house and the large windows he'd had installed. It's where Zayn spends most of his time when he's not sleeping or out on assignment and it's one of the few places he can relax.

But tonight he's feeling restless. Zayn puts the camera away carefully, storing the memory card in its box by his Mac so he can upload the pictures in the morning and edit them before sending them across to his agent. He checks everything’s where it's meant to be before turning the lights off, locking the door behind him and heading for the kitchen.

Tiger meets him at the door, winding between his ankles and his soft fur tickling his legs. Zayn scoops him up and carries him into the kitchen.

"Hey buddy," Zayn murmurs. "Miss me?"

Tiger mews at him, his big eyes blinking slowly as he curls into Zayn's arms.

"I can't believe you're the most stable relationship I've had in five years," Zayn mutters as he scratches Tiger's belly gently, earning himself a soft purr in reply. "Okay, let me get your dinner and then you can go out and hunt down some more birds or mice to leave on my back doorstep to show me how much you love me, okay? Because that's not gross at all."

Tiger just stares at him and Zayn huffs out a laugh that sounds a little sad even to him. Tiger trots over to his bowl as soon as Zayn releases him and paws at it glumly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it." Zayn reaches for a tin of cat food and mixes it up before he spoons it into Tiger's bowl. Tiger eats like he's been starved for days, rather than the well-fed cat he is, who'd scoffed down his breakfast and some salmon Zayn had in the fridge before he'd the house left that morning. Zayn empties the litter tray and refills the water bowl before he opens the fridge to see what he can throw together for his own dinner.

There's half an onion and a tiny bit of cheese. His fridge is about as depressingly empty as his life.

He cobbles together a sandwich to eat in front of the telly in his front room and by the time he's settled and scrolling through endless channels to find something to watch, Tiger's joined him, pressing against his thigh as he stares at Zayn's sandwich.

"You've had your dinner, greedy guts," Zayn says firmly. He leaves the telly on an episode of Secret Millionaire and takes a bite of his sandwich.

He ends up giving Tiger half the sandwich, which Tiger doesn’t even eat, and he flicks through his phone to find his Tesco app. He starts a new order, clicks to repeat everything from his last order and books a slot for tomorrow morning. That done, he puts his feet up, lets Tiger snuggle into his chest and they watch more lives change, thanks to Secret Millionaire.

When the programme's long finished and Tiger's disappeared through the cat flap in the kitchen, Zayn idly picks up one of the million sketchbooks he has lying around because he can never remember where he puts them down, and sketches aimlessly as the telly blasts out the local news. He sketches flowers from memory and half-converts them into a tattoo design since he's itching to get new ink soon. He abandons it halfway through though, not entirely pleased with how the design is forming. He turns to a clean page and after a short pause, starts sketching Harry climbing up a fireman pole. Zayn's amused enough to start shading it in and he makes a mental note to give it to Harry for Christmas. He finishes with a flourishing signature in the corner and a smiley face for good measure. Carefully ripping the page out, he puts it in the folder where he keeps his other finished sketches.

Smothering a yawn, Zayn checks the back door but Tiger's nowhere to be seen and he doesn't answer to Zayn's lazy whistle. He trudges upstairs, not bothering to switch on any lights and just strips in the darkness, sliding into unmade sheets because he's never seen the point of making his bed each morning, to his mother's eternal distress, and flicking on the bedside light. He manages to read a few pages of On A Wing And A Prayer before giving up, marking his place in the book and switching off the light.

Zayn stares up at his ceiling for a long time before he rolls over, buries his face in his pillow and wills himself to sleep.

*

Zayn gives himself a day to clean up his photos before he sends them over to Ed. He wanders around his house and makes a list of things that need to be fixed, including the downstairs faucet which is leaking and a curtain rail upstairs that's hanging to the wall by a thread. Not that he'll fix them. He wouldn't know how to. He's not sure he even owns a toolbox. But he'll make a call eventually to someone who does own a toolbox and can even name all the tools inside. Zayn gets stuck after spanner, hammer and screwdriver.

He scribbles some more sketches but decides to keep none of them.

He watches five seconds of Jeremy Kyle before he has to turn over for his own sanity and ends up watching eight straight episodes of Catfish before he finally gives in and calls Harry.

"Enjoying your day off?" Zayn asks when Harry answers.

"Sure am, boss," Harry says cheerfully. "I'm in my pants and I've got a box of Frosties in one hand, the telly remote in the other and I'm catching up on an entire season of the Kardashians."

Zayn rolls his eyes, safe in the knowledge that Harry can't see him. "I'm going to the fire station tomorrow for a pre-shoot interview with the Captain."

"Yeah? You want me to come with you?" Harry asks. There's both excitement and dread in his tone and Zayn fully understands the feeling.

"Nah, not for this one, you enjoy your time off, yeah? But we'll probably start working on this properly in a week or so."

"A whole week," Harry sighs teasingly. "What will you do without me?"

"I'm sure I'll manage," Zayn says dryly. But there's a lump in his throat that he has to swallow down hard because there's a nugget of truth in that teasing.

"Well, at least try and get laid, okay?" Harry says solemnly. Zayn's pretty sure that Harry's not even teasing now. He's been on at Zayn to hook up with someone since he and Perrie broke up about six months ago. It's been a bit of a dry spell.

"I'll do my best," Zayn says even though they both know he doesn't mean it. Zayn hasn't had the energy for dating for a long time. Perhaps even before Perrie. He's never been much of a partier, just the occasional club when he was younger. He'd met Perrie on assignment, she'd been the assistant on a fashion shoot and they'd managed a seven month relationship that was, in hindsight, perhaps about five months longer than it should have been. Zayn's pretty sure he wasn't nearly good enough to be with someone as great as she was.

The thought of dipping his toes back in the world of dating makes him nervous, if he's being honest. He's definitely not cut out for commitment and he has the dating history to prove it. There's been relationships, but Perrie was his longest by some distance.

"Well, let me know how it goes with the cute firemen tomorrow, okay?" Harry says, interrupting his thoughts. He can hear some rustling in the background like Harry's shaking his cereal box around. "And send me pictures of the cutest ones, okay?" he says around a mouthful of Frosties.

"Sure, because the cute firemen will definitely want to meet the guy who sits around in his pants eating dry cereal all day," Zayn says gravely.

"Exactly. I'm a catch, Zaynie. A catch."

Zayn's still laughing when he hangs up and settles back against the sofa, Tiger curled on his lap this time and they watch an old rerun of Friends.

*

Zayn doesn't get up early on his days off. There are some days where he'd happily not get out of bed at all. Assignments that require him to be up early involve a complicated system of three alarm clocks, his phone, a wake-up call from Harry and then a follow up call where Harry doesn't hang up until Zayn's physically out of bed.

Since the visit to the fire station isn't until the afternoon, Zayn lets himself wake up naturally, which of course means he's still in bed at midday. He messes around on his phone for another 20 minutes checking his emails and texting his sister back before he finally crawls out of bed and stumbles into the shower.

Sleepy but clean, he puts on his usual work attire of skinny black jeans, black boots and a plain, dark t-shirt. He’s aware that he should probably wear long sleeves to cover up his tattoos but since he got his hand tattoo three months ago, he’s stopped bothering. Besides, it's August. It's actually hot for once.

He messes with his hair until it looks half-decent before heading downstairs to feed Tiger, who's purring loudly because when Zayn's on holiday, Tiger's mealtimes get completely out of sync.

"Sorry buddy," Zayn says as he places Tiger's bowl on the floor. He gives Tiger a little scratch in apology before he straightens to put two slices of bread in the toaster and realises that he's now almost running late. While his bread is toasting, he packs his bag with things he might need as well as two different cameras in case something catches his eye or he needs to take a few test shots. It's unusual for a first visit but it happens sometimes and Zayn might be lazy, but he's still a professional.

He grabs the toast and sticks around long enough to liberally smear honey all over it before he's yelling goodbye to Tiger and slamming the front door. He climbs into his Qashqai, which he'd bought for space rather than style, slings his bag into the passenger seat and reverses out of the drive, toast hanging out of his mouth as he makes a left turn towards the town's fire station.

Zayn idly hums along to Usher as he tries to remember the fastest route to the fire station, eventually deciding on straight through town and hoping that traffic isn't too bad. He pulls up at the station with one minute to spare, checks his hair in the mirror out of habit more than anything and reaches for his bag.

As he gets out of the car, he's already sweeping the location for lighting and angles.

"Hey! Are you Mr Malik?"

Zayn turns towards the voice and sees a guy standing by the door. He's in bright yellow trousers held up by braces that stretch over a dark navy t-shirt. His arms and face are covered in what Zayn assumes is soot, although it looks like he's tried to clean himself up a bit.

"Hi, yeah, is this a bad time?" He moves towards the guy and fixes a polite smile on his face. "I can come back, if you prefer?"

"Oh no, it's fine, I wouldn't want to put you out again," the guy says cheerfully. "So long as you don't mind the dirt. We've just got back from a call. I tried to wash up but this stuff can cling to your skin for hours."

"I'm good if you are," Zayn tells him. He can't see much of the guy's face but he's got bright white teeth and smiling dark eyes. He's just taller than Zayn himself, and his shirt is straining over his chest and biceps.

Harry's going to love him.

"I'm Liam. I'm the station manager so I guess I'll be your contact for this calendar stuff."

Something about his tone has Zayn smiling ruefully. "Not a fan of the calendar idea, huh?"

Something like panic passes over Liam's dirty face. "How could you tell? It's not the charity thing though because we're always more than happy to help."

"Yeah, it's the stripping off for the camera to be ogled by anyone with five quid who buys the calendar," Zayn says with a grin. "I get it. And I promise I won't tell."

Liam looks relieved and he's about to run his hand through his hair when he catches sight of the layer of dirt still on skin and obviously reconsiders, his hand dropping back down to his side. "Thanks, Zayn. Hey, is it alright if I call you Zayn?"

Zayn's amused by how polite and nice this big, strong-looking firefighter is. "Yeah, course mate, that's fine. My assistant Harry will be here next time, but I just wanted to come over by myself to see what the station was like and introduce myself."

"I'll take you on a tour then," Liam says brightly.

"Cool, thanks Liam," Zayn says. Liam turns as if to lead the way but Zayn reaches out and catches Liam's wrist, drawing Liam's gaze. "There's different ways we can do this calendar, Liam, depending on what you're comfortable with. It doesn't have to be stripped naked with strategically placed objects if you don't want. We can work within whatever boundaries you want to give us."

Liam looks like he wants to give Zayn a hug out of pure gratitude. "Strategically placed objects," he repeats like he's in a daze. "Naked."

Zayn manages not to grin but it's hard to force his expression to stay neutral. "It's a big seller for obvious reasons. But we can still make it look sexy without the need for skin to be on show. I mean, let's be honest, the fact that you're all firefighters who risk their lives to save others pretty much sells the calendar by itself."

Zayn swears he can see Liam's flush under that layer of dirt and this time he doesn't bother to hold back his smile. Seriously, this guy is adorable. "You don't have to decide now, anyway. Talk it over with the guys who are going to be in the calendar." Zayn has a sudden thought that Liam might not even be in the calendar and his stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought.

"Thanks Zayn," Liam murmurs, still clearly embarrassed. "Come on, let me give you the grand tour."

Liam leads him through the offices, pausing at the door whose name plaque reads Cptn Payne with the 'a' hanging a bit loose and falling into the 'y' and Liam makes a tiny gesture like he's embarrassed to let Zayn see into his inner sanctum. Zayn peers inside and gets a sense of order and warmth from Liam's office. There are neat piles of paperwork on a tidy desk. There's far too many pictures haphazardly nailed to the wall, mostly of various work-related moments but there's pictures of what seems to be family too. There's a row of trophies shoved towards the back of Liam's desk with various different statues on top; Zayn spies a few running figures and a few football-related trophies. So sporty then, Zayn figures. It's not a surprise, since Liam’s chosen a highly physical, and not to mention incredibly dangerous, career.

Then he's led into the bay where two fire engines are parked. Zayn's eyes slowly sweep over them, letting his mind's eye imagine the photographs. He visualises angles and already he can pinpoint at least four shots he can get by using the truck. The ladder in particular catches his eye and he grins when he thinks about what Harry's going to say.

"Will we be able to use one of these in the shoot?" Zayn asks. He really wants to touch the shiny red paint because sometimes he's a six year old boy again with vague thoughts about maybe becoming a firefighter one day. But of course then he'd picked up his dad's old camera and any other dreams had fallen away until it was just him standing in a park with a camera in his hands like it was an extension of his body and he'd seen his future. He hasn't turned back since.

"I don't see why not," Liam says. He crinkles his eyes at Zayn and Zayn finds himself smiling back.

"So what else have you got to show me, Liam Payne?" Zayn says. He doesn't mean it to come out flirtatiously exactly but he catches Liam's gaze drop slightly and his lips curve up into a faint smile.

"This way," Liam mumbles quietly and guides Zayn through a maze of hallways, stopping outside what is clearly a training room. It's not in use right now but Zayn blinks at the size of the weights on the floor, which Liam seems to catch. "We have to stay in shape, obviously. Some of us are better at putting in the hours than others though."

"That makes me feel a little better," Zayn says, grinning. "I was starting to think you were all perfect superheroes for a minute there."

"Not even close," Liam says with a wistful little sigh. At Zayn's cocked eyebrow, Liam grins at him. "I'm a big fan of superheroes."

"Yeah?" Zayn says in surprise. "Me too."

"No way!" Liam's grin can't possibly get any brighter, Zayn thinks. "Who's your favourite?"

"Superman is my ultimate fave," Zayn admits. "I mean, he's _Superman_ , Liam. He's like, the ultimate superhero. But I'm also into The Hulk right now."

"One DC, one Marvel," Liam says like he approves of Zayn's choices. "I'm a Batman guy myself. And I guess Iron Man is my second favourite."

"Good choices," Zayn tells him solemnly. "I love the Dark Knight Trilogy."

There's a loud clatter down the hall that makes Zayn jump in surprise; he'd forgotten where they were.

"Don't get him started on the Dark Knight, Payno won't shut up once he gets started."

The voice belongs to a guy who's grinning wildly at them. His hair looks a little too long for a firefighter but he's wearing the same uniform as Liam, although he's wearing dark blue navy slacks.

"Louis, this is Zayn, he's the photographer who's going to be shooting the calendar for us." Liam doesn't sound put out by Louis' comment and leads Zayn down the hall, passing the laundry room and kitchen towards Louis. Zayn offers his hand and receives a firm handshake in return.

"Nice to meet you," Zayn says thoughtfully. Louis' cute, all angular bone structure and wickedly pretty eyes. He'll photograph well.

"Big fan of your work," Louis says, surprising Zayn because while he makes a decent living and he's gaining a name for himself in certain circles, he's not exactly famous with the wider public, not when his main sources of income come from publishers and one-off assignments. "My mum's got your calendar in her kitchen. Dan bought it for her last year. It's full of cute baby shots, because god knows my mum needs more babies in her life."

"She's just had twins," Liam murmurs. He's a lot closer than Zayn had realised and Liam's breath tickles against his skin. "Louis' the oldest of seven."

"I thought having three sisters was a lot," Zayn says. He knows the calendar Louis' talking about, of course. He'd shot it almost a year ago and it'd been a nightmare. He's not adverse to children in general, but trying to photograph 15 of them in a studio with their mums and dads and nannies and whoever else hanging around, giving him advice on how to stop their little angel from crying, well it wasn't his favourite shoot.

Plus Harry had barely paid attention for most of the day, preferring to walk around with a baby on each hip, giggling as they tugged on strands of his hair and generally being utterly adorable and incredibly frustrating.

"When we had the idea about the calendar, I was chatting to Mum about it and she suggested we get in touch with you because she really loves that calendar," Louis says. "Particularly the one with the baby asleep in the towel. It was February for three months in our house this year."

"Louis' the one who tracked you down," Liam says proudly. "Probably because Niall, who came up with the idea in the first place, kept talking about doing it naked, like that film. With the women."

"Calendar Girls," Zayn supplies helpfully. It's a popular request these days.

"Yeah, that's the one," Liam says, smiling at him. "We were afraid Niall was just gonna call some random guy up and start talking about naked photos, so Louis called his mum and she suggested you."

"Well, I'm glad she did," Zayn says. And he's not even fibbing.

"You should come meet Niall, he's well up for the calendar," Louis says brightly. He quickly herds Liam and Zayn into the kitchen and Zayn pulls up short when he sees a mountain of muscle casually leaning against the counter, sipping tea from a mug that's green and white and Zayn thinks it has an Irish flag on it.

"That's Bressie, and this one is Niall," Liam introduces them. "This is Zayn, the photographer."

Niall's sitting at the table, leaning back on his chair and grinning up at Zayn. He's blonde and pretty, under the same layer of dirt that clings to Liam's skin. Slight, Zayn thinks. Lean. He'll be a popular month, Zayn thinks. They all will, in fact.

Harry's going to _love_ this assignment.

"Fucking hell. Are you sure he's not the model?" Niall asks. He's openly staring at Zayn.

"Pretty sure," Zayn says with a raised eyebrow.

"That's a fucking shame mate," Niall says. "I bet you look great naked."

Zayn laughs, unable to stop himself and Niall beams back at him, clearly pleased.

"Niall!" Liam hisses at him. "Be nice to the photographer!"

"Yeah, Niall," Louis drawls. He's by the kettle making tea and he glances over his shoulder, winking at Zayn. "Zayn here might do a little photoshopping if you're not careful. Maybe give you a bigger nose or add a sixth finger."

"Just adding character then, right mate?" Niall says to him cheerfully. Zayn likes him immediately.

"Well, you need it," Bressie teases him.

Niall pouts up at Bressie who just grins back at him. And Zayn's starting to think this photoshoot might be a lot more fun than he'd first thought.

Louis presses a mug of steaming tea into his hands. "Dunno if you take sugar but it's banned here."

"Banned? Like, for health reasons?" Zayn asks, trying not to mourn the loss of his usual three heaped spoonfuls.

"Nope, we banned it because of Payno here," Louis says, slapping a miserable-looking Liam on the back. "Addicted, he was. Totally ruining a perfect cup of tea with his three spoons of sugar. More, if you didn't watch him like a hawk."

"Shut up Lou," Liam mumbles. He glances over towards Zayn, who has to fight the urge to pat him on the head and rub his shoulders because Liam looks so piteous.

"I have three sugars in my tea too," Zayn tells him. He wants to laugh at the offended look Louis shoots him but Liam's endearingly pleased smile more than makes up for it.

"Anyway, we haven't discussed the whole naked thing yet," Liam says, looking pointedly at Niall who just shrugs.

"If we go naked, my mum is never seeing this calendar," Louis says. "She'll be devastated but I will retain my dignity."

Bressie and Niall snort in unison.

"My sisters can't see it either," Louis says like he hasn't heard them. "Or their friends."

"Yeah, because if there's one thing we've got to protect in this calendar it's your dignity," Niall says dryly. "God forbid that flies out the window."

"I thought it flew out the window when Louis flashed his arse at last year's Christmas party," Liam says with a wicked little grin that makes Zayn blink in surprise. "Or maybe it was his first day of training, remember that lads? When he was meant to rescue the mannequin and he came out screaming that his hair was on fire?"

Niall's laughing too hard to answer and Bressie's not doing much better. Louis is glaring at both of them.

"I hate you all," he says with a growl. "Besides, that's nowhere near as bad as Niall being mistaken for a stripper when we answered that house party call."

"Hey, it's not like I actually stripped," Niall protests, swiping at the tears in his eyes. "I was on official firefighter duty."

"You'd strip for a pint of Amstel, you bloody liar," Bressie tells him. "Unlike our fearless captain."

"Yeah but Liam will come around, won't you boss?" Niall says. He throws a wadded up napkin at Liam, who catches it easily. "Think of the money, Payno. Think of the _kids_."

"It's a burns treatment charity Niall, not a kids charity." Liam shakes his head like this isn't the first time they've had this conversation. "And I definitely don't want any kids seeing me naked."

"That's what props are for, Leemo," Niall tells him with an air of the long suffering. "Zayn here will preserve your dignity, right Zayn?"

"Yeah, of course," Zayn says. He's still puzzled by Liam's attitude to this whole thing because he doesn't seem onboard with the stripping for a charity calendar idea at all. "But Liam, you won't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"Don't tell him that," Louis says with a grimace. "Liam, you absolutely have to do this calendar shoot whether you want to or not."

"I just need a bit of time to adjust," Liam says and there's a frisson of frustration edging into his tone that even Zayn can recognise on short acquaintance. "I'll be fine. Of course I'll do it. It's for charity, innit?"

"And it'll be tasteful, right Zayn?" Louis' staring at him expectantly.

"Oh yeah." Zayn nods even though he's not sure how he's going to make a calendar full of half-naked or fully-naked firefighters look tasteful. There's only one demographic for this calendar and they're not looking for classy. "Sure I can."

"There you go then," Louis says cheerfully. "Zayn's promised."

Liam looks horribly awkward even as Louis' hand comes down to rest on his shoulder. He looks a bit pale, even under the soot, and he won't look anyone in the eye.

"Perhaps you can show me the rest of the building," Zayn murmurs to him when Liam stays silent.

"Sure," Liam says weakly. He turns to the others. "You guys are staying here, right?"

"Yeah, we're staying right here boss," Bressie tells him as he drops a hand down on Niall's shoulder and fixes Louis with a glare that Louis returns with a pout that is probably unbecoming of a firefighter.

And Zayn suspects that Bressie is a bit of a marshmallow underneath those biceps.

"Great," Liam says with obvious relief. He drops his mug onto the counter and grabs Zayn's half-finished tea to put it next to Liam's. Then he starts ushering Zayn to the door a bit too eagerly.

"It was nice to meet you," Zayn calls over his shoulder. He gets a glimpse of Niall and Louis grinning at him. "See you later!"

"Bye Zayn!" the chorus comes faintly through the kitchen door but Liam's already rushing him through the building to a set of stairs.

"We have bunks upstairs," Liam says as he leads the way up. "I don't think you'll want to shoot in here though, it's a bit of an, uh, acquired smell."

Zayn takes one step inside before he wrinkles his nose and he grasps Liam's meaning. "Don't you ever open windows?"

"More often than you'd think," Liam tells him. "You get used to it though."

"Not sure I could, mate," Zayn says with a laugh. "You're right though, I'm not going to shoot up here, so perhaps we could, ugh, go back down?"

"Sure," Liam says with a grin. He takes a few steps back and Zayn can now see what he's been blocking from Zayn's view. "Stairs or pole?"

"Holy shit." Zayn peers over Liam's shoulder down to the floor below. It looks further in real life than it does in the movies.

"You wanna try it?" Liam asks him. His eyes are dancing and Zayn's breath catches for a second before he shakes his head in a silent no.

"Never really been one for heights," Zayn tells him honestly. It seems a bit silly to be telling Liam that he's afraid of something so silly when Liam literally runs into burning buildings for a living. "Don't like rollercoasters either. I'm not very adventurous, really."

"Don't suppose you have to if you don't want to be though," Liam says with a shrug.

Zayn smiles a bit helplessly at that. "I suppose not."

"But maybe I'll get you on this pole by the time you're done with this calendar," Liam adds sneakily. He laughs at Zayn's raised eyebrows.

"And maybe I'll get you to pose naked by the time we're done with this calendar," Zayn counters.

They're frozen there for maybe a few seconds too long, just staring at each other with matching dumb grins.

"Well, I'd best be off and I'm not going down that pole today," Zayn says decisively, breaking the silence.

"Spoilsport," Liam teases. But he leads Zayn downstairs and out of the station until they're standing by Zayn's car door. "So what's the next step then?"

Zayn leans against his car door, ankles crossed as he slips on his sunglasses to shield his eyes from the warm August sun. "I'd like to come back with my assistant," Zayn says. "So we can plan what we'll use for the photoshoot and perhaps walk you through it so if we want to use something that we're not allowed to, or we do anything else that's not allowed, then you can let us know and we can work something else out."

"Okay." Liam's nodding along seriously.

"Just to warn you though. My assistant is kind of, uh, distracting," Zayn says. It's an understatement, since Harry is totally going to run riot over this place. Zayn's dreading it already, particularly if Harry gets anywhere near Niall who is just Harry's type, with his air of innocence that masks a wicked sense of humour, all wrapped up in a pretty package of blonde hair and blue eyes. "He'll be an absolute nightmare, and I apologise in advance for everything he says."

Liam's eyes crinkle and Zayn is starting to find it really adorable. "I'm sure he can't be that bad."

"You haven't met Harry," Zayn grumbles good-naturedly. "But yeah, just let us know what we can and can't do, and we'll work out whether we need to do some shots in the studio. It'd be nice to get them all here though. More authentic, I reckon."

"We'll do our best," Liam says, and Zayn absolutely believes him. "Just call when you've got a day in mind."

"Sounds good." Zayn fishes out his phone, checking multiple pockets before he finds it deep in his back right one. "What's your number?"

Liam seems to freeze, making Zayn glance up to see Liam's face has gone a funny shade of pink under the soot. Zayn smothers a laugh as he focuses back on his phone. "Office or personal, whatever works best for you."

"Uh, I'll give you my mobile," Liam says gruffly. He rattles off his number and Zayn keys it into his phone, filing it under Fireman Liam. "Should I, um, take yours then? In case I need to call you? For uh, any reason?"

"Sure, sounds good," Zayn tells him easily. It's not his usual practice, but he likes Liam. He likes him a lot, actually. He calls Liam's number and hangs up after two rings. "There, that's me. But you should probably wash your hands or something before you pick up your phone."

"Occupational hazard." Liam sounds glum as he stares at his hands before he places them behind his back sheepishly.

"I like a guy who gets his hands dirty," Zayn murmurs before he can filter it through his brain. As soon as what he's said registers with his brain, he can feel his face getting hot with embarrassment. "Um, I mean-"

"No, yeah I know what you meant," Liam says quickly. He's biting down on his bottom lip and Zayn just stares for a moment in fascination because Liam's bottom lip is decidedly distracting all by itself. When Liam worries it with his teeth, it's obscene. His lip is plumping up as Zayn watches, turning pink and slick and ... fuck. Zayn blinks.

"I'll see you later, Liam," Zayn says, his voice a little huskier than normal. He offers his hand because he's going to at least pretend like he's a professional, even if his gaze does repeatedly slip back down to Liam's bottom lip. When Liam's hand slides against his, it's warm and firm and looks so big compared to his. Zayn's never really thought much about his own hands before but now he's very aware of his own long, graceful, lean fingers compared to Liam's thick, blunt fingers and rough, workman's hands.

He's _painfully_ aware.

"Bye, Zayn," Liam says, stepping back as their hands fall away, back to their sides. "It was really nice to meet you."

"You too, Liam." Zayn fishes his keys out and opens the car door. He slides inside and winds the window down, grinning at Liam as he rests his elbow on the edge. "And think about how naked you want to get for this photoshoot. I'll need to know before I bring Harry next time so we can work out props."

Liam nods, staying silent as he sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth again, and wow it's time for Zayn to leave before he does anything embarrassing about that whole situation. He puts the car into reverse and eases back out of the space. He waves out of the window at Liam. "Stay out of trouble!" he calls before he pulls his hand back into the car and turns into the road.

He glances in his rearview mirror to see Liam waving back at him. Zayn grins as he adjusts his sunglasses and settles more comfortably in his seat.

It’s entirely possible that Harry's not going to be the only one who enjoys this shoot.

*

Zayn comes home to a pathetic-looking Tiger who's staring mournfully at his empty bowl.

"I don't know why you're giving me that look, you're not getting anymore until dinner otherwise you're gonna get podgy, and then you won't be able to chase all those birds and mice you like to pounce on and leave on my doorstep," Zayn tells him.

He ends up giving Tiger half of his sandwich as they sit on the sofa watching Deal or No Deal. When there's a knock at his door just when Noel's about to reveal what's in Tom from Derby's box, Zayn grumbles as he gets up, unsurprised to find Harry standing on his doorstep, a four pack of beers in one hand and a box of doughnuts in the other. Zayn grins when he notices the smattering of sugar coating Harry's lips.

"I thought I banned you from coming to my home," Zayn says cheerfully. He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms, keeping his expression deliberately blank.

"Oh come on, I was drunk and I forgot where I was," Harry pouts. He lifts the doughnuts a little higher, waving them under Zayn's nose even though they're packaged up and Zayn can't smell them at all. "I promise I won't walk around your house naked this time."

Zayn stares at him in silence for another minute until Harry's shuffling his feet and tugging on his own shirt sleeves.

"Come on then," Zayn says finally. He steps back and lets Harry in, closing the door behind him as Harry heads straight for the kitchen, whistling a jaunty tune that has Zayn rolling his eyes. "Don't mess up my kitchen!"

Zayn flops back down on the sofa, idly scratching Tiger's back as the cat stretches before he curls up on Zayn's lap. He's surprised Tiger's still here; usually he goes running out through the catflap whenever he sees Harry because Zayn's not the only one who's been terrorised by Harry Styles in his own home.

Harry comes back with two open bottles and a plate full of doughnuts with two side plates balanced on his arm. Zayn reaches for them before they go crashing to the ground and Harry flashes him a grin before he manages to get everything on the coffee table without dropping anything. Zayn takes the beer Harry offers him and stretches his arm over the back of the sofa, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a long sip.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of your company today, Harry?" Zayn asks. He knows perfectly well why Harry's here. As much as they complain about their lack of holidays, they both have a bad habit of getting bored when they have no routine to stick to. Zayn can sleep his way through the first few days but after that, he gets bored and spray-paints the inside of his garage, while Harry texts him about whatever hipster book he's picked up. Zayn is fully aware of how tragic their lives are.

Harry's got a mouthful of jam doughnut and there's a dribble of jam trickling down his chin. "I wanna hear about the cute firefighters. You didn't send me any pictures."

Zayn ignores Harry's pout. "I thought it might be inconsiderate to take pictures for my assistant because he's not had sex for two weeks and he's getting a little desperate, since they'd just got back from a fire and most of them were still covered in soot from the fire."

"Heyyy," Harry protests. "It's been three months, actually. And don't tell me you don't find their job just a little hot. They save lives for a living, Zayn. That's _sexy_."

Zayn remembers Liam's hand, warm and solid in his own. Hands that have saved more lives than Zayn can probably ever imagine. "Maybe a little," he admits while Harry pumps his fist in the air in victory. "But who wouldn't?"

"So come on then, spill," Harry pleads. "Tell me all about the super cute, fit firemen who will be parading in front of us at least half-naked. And sweaty. They should definitely be sweaty."

"Don't worry, they'll be sweaty.". Considering the target demographic of this calendar, they'll have to spray the guys taking part with water to get that sweaty look.

"And I'll be in charge of keeping them wet, right?" Harry settles back into the corner of the sofa, his arms hugging his legs to his body.

Zayn gives him a look but he nods, fighting a smile when Harry beams happily at him.

"Oh my _god_ Zayn, just tell me about the sexy firefighters," Harry whines.

And as much as Zayn likes to mess with Harry, a pouty, moody Harry isn't his favourite Harry. So he grabs his bottle and leans back against the opposite sofa arm to Harry, mirroring his pose.

"Well, I mean they were fully dressed so I couldn't really tell how like, well-built they were," Zayn says slowly. He tries to reassure himself that he's simply telling Harry about their future models for research purposes. It's important to know as much as possible about their subjects and it's _not_ creepy or weird. At all. "But from what I could see, I think it's safe to say that they're all fit and toned, at least. They even have a gym at the station."

Harry's got a dreamy look on his face that Zayn rolls his eyes at. "I met Liam, who's the station manager over there. He was nice, but he seemed really shy about being a model for the shoot, so I don't know if he'll actually do it or not."

"Is he cute?" Harry asks because he really does have a one-track mind.

"I think so," Zayn murmurs. At Harry's confused look, Zayn just shrugs. "He was just back from an emergency when I turned up, covered in dirt and smoke from the fire. It was a little hard to tell. He had great arms though."

"I can work with great arms," Harry tells him. "So Liam's the bossman. What about the others?"

"I met a couple of other guys," Zayn admits. "Bressie is huge. He should probably be on the front cover shot."

"How huge?" Harry breathes. He's leaning in slightly, eyes wide and lips parted. Zayn kind of wants to kick him.

"Over six foot and built like a bloody tank," Zayn acknowledges. "Cute face. And Irish, like Niall."

"Trying to get anything out of you is like pulling teeth," Harry grumbles. He shoves another doughnut into his mouth. "Who's Niall?"

"Smaller. Blonde," Zayn recites sweetly as he wiggles his feet under Harry's body for warmth. Harry, for all his annoying habits, lets him. "Wicked sense of humour. Fun. Flirty."

Harry's face lights up. "Are you being serious?"

"Nope." Zayn finishes his beer and ambles slowly to his feet, stretching his arms up to the ceiling and dragging his shirt up over his hips while he yawns. "Another beer?"

Harry nods and passes Zayn his own empty bottle. Tiger winds through Zayn’s legs as he walks to the kitchen before stopping at his empty bowl and looking up at Zayn mournfully.

"Alright, alright," Zayn mutters. He digs out a tin and tips the contents into Tiger's bowl. The cat attacks it like he's been half-starved.

He picks up the last two bottles, winging off the caps before he walks back into the living room and hands Harry his beer.

"So Niall," Harry says, leaning forward. "Is he cute?"

"As a button," Zayn supplies. "Please don't fuck him on the shoot."

"I'm a professional," Harry says, managing to sound offended even though he actually looks flattered. "I would never sleep with a model."

Zayn shoots him a disbelieving look.

"I wouldn't!" Harry protests. He's got his arms folded against his chest and he's glaring.

"Anyway. I also met Louis, who's the smallest but possibly the loudest of all of them," Zayn says before he drains half his beer in one go. "We need to go back next week to work out where we're going to shoot and look at the lighting and what areas we can and can't use. I want to use the fire engine for a few of them, at least as a backdrop if we can't actually get them on it. Liam didn't seem to think it'd be a problem though."

"Oh, you know what we should do?" Harry asks, leaning forward excitedly. He's waving his half-empty bottle of beer around and Zayn eyes it carefully, hands poised to grab for it if he needs to.

"What?"

"We should go out!" Harry says, which is not what Zayn thought he was going to say at all.

But Zayn's definitely let the alcohol go to his head because he finds himself nodding in agreement.

Which is how he finds himself in a bar, pretty drunk and with his arm around Harry's shoulders. It's a bit awkward because Harry's taller than him, but Zayn doesn't care all that much and Harry doesn't seem to mind stooping down a little.

"So Liam asked you to slide down his pole then?" Harry yells over the music.

Zayn nods for a second before he starts frowning. "Wait, no, not like that! He was being nice!"

"You've called Liam nice like, ten thousand billion times tonight," Harry points out. "You fancy him!"

"Do not," Zayn protests. His head feels heavy so he lets it drop onto Harry's shoulder. "He's just -"

"Nice?" Harry supplies unhelpfully.

"Shut up, " Zayn grumbles. He's somehow ended up wrapped around Harry and he's almost certain Harry's the only thing keeping him upright. "I think I need to go home and lay down."

"Okay. You gonna have to remember how to walk though."

Zayn stares at his feet. "Yeah. I can probably do that."

It turns out that Zayn can't, in fact, do that. But Harry manages to half-drag him back to his place, digging out Zayn's keys from his pocket and getting him through the door and upstairs.

"You want helping getting to bed?" Harry asks as they stand in the doorway of Zayn's bedroom together. Zayn's slumped against Harry's side and his mouth tastes of stale beer. It's kind of terrible.

"I can do it," Zayn says firmly. To prove it, he lets go of Harry. He flails for about two seconds before he finds his balance and turns to grin at Harry in victory.

"Alright. Well, call me tomorrow so I know you're not dead. And let me know if you want me to come over and make you breakfast. Or hold your hair back while you puke." Harry does a weird little wave before he spins on his heel and disappears, dancing down the stairs. He's back within a minute, a glass of water in one hand and some pills in the other. Harry drops them onto Zayn's nightstand before he's off again. Zayn hears the front door slam and he winces at the loud bang it makes.

"I can do this," he tells himself. He concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other, his arms out wide as he tries to remember what balance is. He makes it to the bed in one piece and drops to the mattress in relief. He strips as quickly as he can, which as it turns out isn't that fast at all, and he contemplates a trip to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Deciding the taste in his mouth is too awful to ignore, it's another long twenty minute battle to get to the bathroom, clean his teeth and make it all the way back to bed.

He's never been so grateful to fall into bed and pull the covers up over his face. He fumbles for his phone and brings up his contacts, scrolling through until he finds the number he's looking for. Perrie's smile flashes up at him, bright and sunny and as beautiful as ever.

It's only when he's drunk and alone that he pulls her number up on his phone. It's only when his head is spinning from too many beers that he remembers how great it is to cuddle up to someone late at night and to wake up with that same person in the morning. It's only when he's feeling desperately sad and alone that he sends her a text in the middle of the night.

And it's only when he wakes up with a terrible hangover, eyes bleary and his throat raw, that he checks his phone to see that he's received a text from Perrie making sure that he's okay.

He stares at her photo for a moment, memorising the tilt of her smile and the way her eyes look lit up with happiness. Because of him.

Then he scrolls down and hits Delete Contact.

He drops his phone to the floor and buries himself in the duvet, squeezing his eyes shut tight and curling up into a tiny ball.

His bed is too big. He's too small.

And his head is _throbbing_.

*

Zayn doesn't call Liam for two days because his entire family has been visiting. He'd woken up the day after Harry had dragged him to the bar with a slight hangover and a craving for an egg McMuffin. He'd been saved the trip to his local Maccy D's when his mum had called to let him know that she was coming over with his dad and all three of his sisters for a long-overdue visit. Zayn had obviously sounded awful because his mum had brought round enough food to feed a small army and cooked him enough fried food to cure the rest of his headache and make him wish his parents lived a bit closer.

A whole day of his mum trying to feed him every five seconds, his dad trying to fix things that Zayn was quite happy to leave unfixed and his sisters commandeering the telly and forcing the rest of them to watch reruns of the Kardashians had changed his mind though and he was happy to wave them off the next morning with promises to call more often and eat better.

He's been promising the same things since he left home at eighteen to go to university and had never bothered to move home after he'd graduated.

It takes him another day to recover from their visit, which is why he's sat in his kitchen, his second mug of coffee half-drained and he's dutifully eaten half a piece of toast because he loves his mum and he probably should eat better.

Zayn scrolls through his phone while he takes another bite, his thumb hovering over Fireman Liam's number. He chews slowly.

Then he presses down.

Liam answers on the third ring. "Zayn! Hi mate!"

"Hey Liam," Zayn says, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. He smiles at Liam's excited tone. He's still not entirely sure that Liam is a real person. "How's things at the station?"

"Pretty quiet, although I probably shouldn't say that," Liam says cheerfully. Zayn can hear noise in the background and he wonders where Liam is. Maybe the gym. Or the kitchen, he guesses. "Quiet is good. Quiet is what we want."

Quiet means safe, is what Zayn hears. "I like quiet," he offers. "My family's been visiting and it's nice and peaceful without them."

Liam laughs down the phone, rich and warm. It makes Zayn smile as he reaches for his mug to take another sip of coffee. "Sounds like you've had a busy few days then. They don’t live local?"

"No, they're back in Bradford," Zayn says. "I don't get home as much as my mum would like so once every three months, she packs the entire family up and comes down to see me."

"I've got a mum like that," Liam tells him with feeling. The sounds in the background are quieting and Zayn wonders whether he's walking towards the front or the back of the station. He guesses the back. "Every time I go home, she fusses and insists on making me sit down the entire visit. It drives me mad."

Zayn huffs out a laugh. "Mums, huh. I'm sitting here forcing myself to eat toast because she wants me to eat better."

Zayn hears Liam cough down the phone. "Uh, that's sweet though. Doing that for your mum."

"Yeah well, she's an expert at making me feel guilty," Zayn mutters. "Anyway. The photoshoot. What's the best time to come back around next week? Our diaries are pretty clear, for once."

"I'm on midday shifts next week," Liam says. "So you could come over at ten, which is before my shift starts so I can go around with you?"

"That sounds great," Zayn says. He's trying not to wince at dragging himself out of bed before nine on a day off.

"Do you need anything in particular?" Liam asks him. "Is there something specific I can help with?"

"Not really, although having you there will be a massive help in case we have questions," Zayn says. "We'll just be walking around and checking the lighting and what kind of props we might be able to use. You can let us know what we can and can't use, if that's alright."

"That sounds simple enough," Liam says. He sounds relieved, even over the phone. "Does Tuesday work for you?"

Zayn's tempted to pretend to be flicking through his diary, which he knows full well is completely empty. "Yeah," he says too quickly. "Tuesday sounds perfect."

"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you again," Liam tells him. "I mean, looking forward to seeing both of you."

"Yeah, me too." Zayn wants to get a good look at Liam's face without all the dirt smeared across his skin. "I'll see you next week, yeah?"

"Yeah, see you next week Zayn. Have a good day."

"You too, Liam. I hope things stay quiet."

"Me too," Liam says around a laugh. "Bye, Zayn."

"Bye Liam," Zayn says softly, listening to Liam ring off before he drops the phone onto the counter. He lifts his mug to his lips and drains the rest of his coffee before he picks up his phone and shoots off a quick text to Harry with the date and the time.

Yay can't wait! I'll pick you up at 9.30? .xx

Zayn used to find Harry's style of texting weird, especially the random period before two kisses. Now he barely registers it.

Yeah. Pls don't wear anything too ridiculous. ALL nipples covered at all times. Z

No more than a few seconds pass before his phone buzzes with a single crying emoji flashing up at him. Zayn hums to himself as he pockets his phone and walks over to the sink to rinse out his mug. When Tiger paws at his bowl and mews, Zayn tosses him a handful of treats that he keeps on the counter.

And Zayn realises he's in a stupidly good mood for no apparent reason. His eyes flicker across to his phone, lying still and dark on the table.

Tiger mews again, his treats gone as he stares up at Zayn mournfully.

"He's just nice, that's all," Zayn tells him. Tiger huffs loudly and arches his back in a long stretch. "Oh, shut up. Who asked you anyway?"

Tiger flounces past him, his tail hitting Zayn's leg as he passes by.

*

Zayn's actually ready when Harry pulls up at 9.27am. He opens the door and almost hugs Harry when Harry lifts up his hands to reveal breakfast.

"You're the best assistant I've ever had," Zayn tells him honestly as he grabs one of the coffees and swipes the paper bag from Harry. He heads for the kitchen and Harry follows slowly behind.

Croissants. He bloody loves Harry.

"I'm the only assistant you've ever had," Harry points out. He doesn't seem put out or anything though, and when Zayn glances over his shoulder, Harry's got Tiger in his arms and his traitorous cat is purring happily into Harry's shoulder.

"You're also the worst assistant I've ever had," Zayn says with a grin. Harry sticks his tongue out at him and Zayn leans over to shove a croissant in Harry's mouth. "You should probably let go of my cat if you want to eat that."

Zayn watches in fascination as Harry works the croissant into his mouth using a lot of tongue while he holds Tiger to his chest. And when he's done, he flashes Zayn a huge grin of self-satisfaction.

"That is disgusting," Zayn tells him, taking a much smaller bite out of his own pastry and chewing slowly.

"I dunno," Harry says slowly. He's got a hand buried in Tiger's fur and he's doing something that's making Tiger purr in contentment. "I've had a lot of practice. Never got any complaints from anyone."

"Just please don't try it at the station," Zayn pleads. He finishes his croissant and crosses the kitchen to dump the bag into the bin. "No messing with the models, or at least until we're done with the calendar. If you start distracting them, Harry, you're off the shoot."

"No deliberate distractions," Harry promises. When Zayn opens his mouth to protest, Harry jumps in. "Hey, I can't help it if someone gets distracted by my natural charm," he points out. He's also grinning smugly.

Zayn tries to stare him down but Harry doesn't wilt under Zayn's best glare. "Fine," he says eventually before he takes a sip of coffee. It’s strong and rich, which is just how Zayn likes it but just makes him frown harder. Harry really is the best assistant he's ever had. And possibly the best mate he's ever had. It really makes it difficult for Zayn to stay annoyed with him.

Zayn picks up Harry's coffee since Harry's showing no signs of putting Tiger down and heads for the front door. He's not taking any cameras except for the small digital one he's got in his pocket. He'd thought about it though because taking pre-shoot pictures is something he does every now and again and it's good to get a handle of lighting and angles and colours. But Liam's reticence about the calendar had stopped him from picking up any of his other cameras. And he'll suggest the same to Harry, who probably has a range of his own equipment in the back of his second-hand Vauxhall Astra. He doesn't want to scare Liam because something tells him Liam's going to do the calendar no matter what. And if Liam's doing it, Zayn wants to make him feel as comfortable as possible.

"C’mon Harry," Zayn mutters when he turns to find Harry still hugging a smug-looking Tiger. "Drop the cat and let's go."

"Sorry Tiger," Harry says, giving him one last cuddle before he drops down and lets the cat hit the floor. "Mean old Zaynie says we have to go."

Zayn lifts one unimpressed eyebrow at the pair and he waits patiently for Harry to stand up and walk past him, neatly plucking his coffee out of Zayn's hand and strolling towards his old, beat up car.

"Stay out of trouble," Zayn warns Tiger. As usual, it goes over the cat's head and he strolls off towards the kitchen, leaving Zayn to lock up and mutter about ungrateful pets.

He climbs into the passenger side of Harry's car. As he expected, the backseat is covered in camera cases, lighting equipment and two old copies of Ideal Home.

"No photos," Zayn says when Harry's pulled away from the curb and turns towards the fire station. At Harry's questioning looking, Zayn just shrugs. "Liam's nervous about the whole thing. I don't want to make him more anxious."

"Okay," Harry says easily. He switches lanes and Zayn has to close his eyes because Harry's had more near-misses in his car than Zayn likes to remember. "So what's the plan, boss?"

"We'll walk around the areas I think we'll probably shoot. Keep your eyes open for any equipment that we can use. We'll try and meet as many of the guys we'll be shooting and figure out who will be best placed where. I need eleven models and make the twelfth shot a group one. I'm hoping Liam says the fire truck is useable because it'll make a great background. Basically it's just a scouting mission."

"And they'll be clean this time, right?" Harry takes a left and promptly stops to let an old man cross the road even though they're not at a crossing. "So we can see their cute faces?"

"Well, barring an emergency, I guess so," Zayn says dryly. "They still have to do their jobs around shooting the calendar, Harry."

"Maybe they'll get called out while we're there." Harry’s eyes widen when he glances at Zayn. "Maybe we could see them in action."

"We're not spectators, Harry," Zayn says with a shake of his head. He exhales slowly when Harry throws the car back into gear and they pull away again. "We're just there to create the fantasy for others, not buy into it ourselves."

"Oh, a little fantasy about big strong firefighters is hardly a crime," Harry points out.

Zayn doesn't necessarily disagree, but he's striving for professionalism here. "Maybe not, but just remember the distinction." He ignores Harry's ridiculously over-the-top eye roll. "People are buying it for the fantasy anyway. As long as they've got nice, lean bodies that we can zero in on for the shots, that's all the company is looking for."

"That's so shallow," Harry says conversely. Sometimes Harry is an absolute pest and Zayn's almost positive that Harry does it on purpose just to be awkward. "We should include a biography about each firefighter or something on their pages."

"What, like Page 3 models?" Zayn says, fighting a grin.

"Exactly," Harry says with a nod. Zayn's not sure if Harry gets the humour or whether he's being totally straight. When he shoots Zayn a filthy grin, Zayn laughs softly. "Although of course that's a totally sexist concept."

"We're shooting a calendar for predominantly middle-aged women to swoon over muscular, pretty men," Zayn points out. "But I'll think about pitching the biography idea. It might be a nice selling point for the charity."

Harry settles for that and soon enough they're pulling up at the fire station. Harry parks the car at a terrible angle but he doesn't bother to straighten up and Zayn's just grateful that they've arrived in one piece.

They both get out and Zayn walks straight over the grass area in front of the right side of the station, next to the car park. "Here would be a good place for some shots," he tells Harry. There's a shady oak tree that Zayn can use and will also help with lighting if the sun is too bright.

"You don't want them all in the building?" Harry asks, his eyes narrowed as he takes in the location before glancing back at the station.

"No, I don't think so," Zayn murmurs. "Shirtless, with an axe maybe."

Harry's eyes widen hilariously. "I'm sorry, is this gonna be a porn calendar?"

"Mummy porn maybe," Zayn says with a straight faced

"And gay and bi men porn," Harry adds not quite under his breath.

"Perks of the job." Zayn refuses to be embarrassed about this. It's his job to make this calendar as appealing to as many people as possible, with an eye to the main demographic who buy these kinds of calendars. "Now, what do you think about one of them shirtless on the grass with a hose spraying over them? Too much?"

They get into a debate about how far they can go with this before Harry effectively ends the conversation with, "I know! Carrying a baby!"

"We are _not_ doing a shot with any of them carrying a baby, Harry," Zayn says firmly. "Absolutely no."

Harry looks set to have a full on tantrum when Zayn catches someone waving at them from the station. He throws Harry a warning look before he strolls over to the mystery guy. As he gets closer, his eyes focus on the guy's eyes. Eyes that he thinks he recognises. Brown and warm and yeah, crinkling at the sides where he's smiling at Zayn.

"Liam?" Zayn blinks a few times just to make sure, but yeah. This is Liam. This guy with the lightly sun-kissed skin and a dusting of facial hair that Zayn swears wasn't there last week. His hair is light brown and easily styled, the front curling just a little. He's got great bone structure, Zayn thinks with his photographer's brain before it disappears when Liam licks his lips.

Liam has the pinkest lips Zayn's ever seen in his life. Or, he amends silently, the most naturally pinkest lips he's ever seen. He knows people that would kill to have lips that colour. Models who've spent hours trying to get their lip colour somewhere near to Liam's. His bottom lip is obscenely plump and Zayn's itching to grab his camera and coax Liam into posing for him. Or not posing, even. He'd put his entire life savings, which is actually only about £600, his car, most of his professional equipment and whatever's been paid off of his mortgage, which really doesn't amount to much, but he'd bet all of it on Liam being a natural in front of the camera.

"Guess I look a little different this time," Liam says before he flushes and Zayn just gawks at him because the slight flush across his cheekbones makes Liam look utterly adorable.

"You scrub up well," Zayn manages before he's pretty sure a mirroring flush creeps over his own skin.

"Hey, are you going to introduce me then?" Harry says, appearing at Zayn's shoulder and offering his hand to Liam.

"This is Liam," Zayn says. He catches Harry's quick glance towards him and Zayn manages a weak grin. "Liam, this is Harry. He's going to be helping out on the shoot."

"Nice to meet you Harry," Liam says sincerely. "Zayn's told me a lot about you."

"Ignore most of what he says, I'm a delightful person," Harry tells him conspiratorially. It makes Liam laugh and Zayn might need to go find a quiet corner and cry for a bit. Or jerk off, maybe since Liam, who he spent all that time with last week, is gorgeous and Zayn hadn't been able to appreciate it under all that dirt and soot and the stupid baseball cap. "And Zayn, you're right. He's got _great_ arms."

Zayn refuses to be embarrassed by that because it's a professional opinion and it's his job to notice stuff like that. But when Liam turns to him with raised eyebrows, Zayn might be finding it hard to swallow around the sudden dryness in his throat.

"Professionally speaking," he mutters.

Liam's in a white t-shirt this time, and it clings to his body in ways that should totally be illegal, Zayn thinks. He notices Harry's eyes drifting over Liam's broad shoulders and he just about stops himself from clipping Harry around the head and growling at him.

"Pretty," Harry murmurs quietly. Zayn bites back an order for Harry to just disappear, and notes that the tips of Liam's ears have gone a bit pink.

"Well uh, where do you want to go first?" Liam asks. His voice is a little husky and he directs his question to Zayn.

"Let's get the introductions out of the way, since Harry's determined to eye up all the models," Zayn says. It's a struggle to keep the bitterness out of his voice but he does it. Liam gives them both funny looks but they beam back at him with matching smiles.

"Alright, everyone's in the kitchen," Liam tells them slowly. "Some of the guys who signed up for the calendar aren't here but most of them are."

Liam leads them into the fire station and Zayn hangs back a little. He's absolutely not paying attention to the way Liam's lean and lithe body moves.

"Thought you said they didn't have to be attractive," Harry murmurs quietly behind him. Zayn shoots him a glare over his shoulder and walks a bit faster to catch up with Liam.

The kitchen is pretty full when they step inside. There's eight of them there, not including Liam, and Zayn's tempted to send Harry on an errand to stop him from combusting on the spot. As it turns out, Holmes Chapel is home to the most stunningly attractive firefighters in the UK. Back home, Zayn remembers seeing a fire truck go past him when he was on his way to school. He'd probably have been about 14 or 15 at the time, and he remembers being horribly disappointed at how ordinary the firefighters sitting inside the cab looked.

"I see why the charity suggested this station for the calendar," Harry mutters behind him. Zayn flicks him a grin over his shoulder.

"Well, this makes our job a little easier," Zayn says dryly. It gets a loud laugh from Niall and a snicker from Louis, who are right in the middle of the kitchen holding matching mugs.

"Oh god you must be Bressie," Harry says breathlessly. Zayn turns to see Harry's moved into the kitchen and he's correctly identified the Irishman taking up most of the room. "Wow. Zayn, I call dibs on photographing this one."

Zayn would be mortified if it wasn't for the fact that Bressie's laughing at Harry and dragging him in for a one-armed cuddled.

Hell, Zayn's _still_ a little mortified.

"I'm so sorry about him, he's an idiot," Zayn says to the rest of the room.

"Alright. Anyone who’s still on the clock, get out and look like you're doing some work for once," Liam says. There's a lot of groaning and good-natured ribbing but most of them filter out and acknowledge Liam in some way, whether it's a hand to the shoulder as they pass or a friendly jibe. Zayn takes it all in.

"I want this one too," Harry says loudly, dragging Zayn out of his fascination with Liam and towards where he's stood between Bressie and Niall. Niall's frowning at Harry like he's unsure what to make of him but Harry's beaming happily. "Oh, and the calendar should definitely be naked."

That has Niall grinning like he's found a kindred spirit. "Yeah, told you Payno. A naked calendar sells better than a clothed one. And it's for the kids."

"Still not for the kids, Niall," Liam says calmly. "And I still haven't decided yet."

"I dunno why you're in charge of the decision," Niall grumbles.

"Because I'm the station manager and you're not," Liam shoots back. "When you become my boss, then you can decide how many naked photoshoots we do."

"Oh god don't encourage him," Louis moans.

"You think I could be the boss?" Niall asks Liam in surprise.

Liam rolls his eyes. "Niall, you could take over the entire world if you just put a little effort in."

Niall blinks at that, clearly judging how serious Liam is. "Wow, thanks Liam," he says quietly.

"Yeah, well until then, we're doing things my way," Liam says, his voice a little gruff.

"It'd sound more impressive if you weren't the world's biggest teddy bear," Louis supplies unhelpfully.

"With a squishy little middle made of marshmallow," Niall adds. He's still looking at Liam like he's the actual sun and Zayn has to hide his smile by covering his mouth with his hand.

"Except for that six-pack of abdominal muscles he has," Louis says thoughtfully.

"But under _that_ , it's definitely marshmallow."

Zayn's gaze drifts down to Liam's flat belly, covered by his shirt. Liam wraps his arms around himself protectively and Zayn quickly looks up but Liam's looking towards Harry, who's also eying Liam up.

"Harry," Zayn says, perhaps a little harshly but it seems to work when Harry's gaze snaps towards him. "Perhaps we should go look for equipment we can use."

"Yes boss," Harry says smartly. He pats Niall on the cheek as he moves to leave and Niall grins at him.

When they're back in the hallway, Zayn asks Liam if they can see the fire truck area. "That's where most of the firefighting equipment will be, right?"

"Right," Liam agrees and leads them through a series of doors before they're in front of the truck.

"Zayn you were right again," Harry says excitedly. He claps his hands together in glee as he stares at the gleaming red engines. "These will make great backdrops."

Liam steps back and Zayn smiles apologetically at him before he takes a step towards Harry. "I'm thinking that one of the shots will be someone holding the firehose on their shoulder."

"Bressie," Harry says immediately and Zayn nods because that's exactly what he was thinking too.

"And for Niall, it should be more flirtatious," Zayn continues.

Harry's nodding enthusiastically. "Looking over his shoulder, a wink maybe, just Niall stripped to his waist or totally naked if that's the way we end up going."

Zayn hears a faint groan coming from where Liam's standing and he does his best to ignore it. "Louis with his helmet on, maybe braces too, either on the ladder or climbing into the cab. Or just standing in front of the fire engine. He's confident enough to pull it off."

Harry's got a notepad in his hands and he's scribbling notes as Zayn continues, losing track of who he's mentioned and what equipment he's calling out for. But Harry jots it all down and they'll go over it later at home, picking out what works best for all of the models and months.

"The ladder ... the hose ... the axe ... do you have a fire hydrant?" Zayn asks, turning to look at Liam, who is leaning casually against the wall, his legs crossed at the ankles. He looks amused and curious and it's a great look on him.

"Yeah, just outside. It doesn't work, but we have one."

"No, that’s great, it doesn't have to work," Zayn says, turning back to Harry. "In here, if we add some lights and a screen. Out on the driveway. The grass, just under the tree. Liam, are all those areas usable?"

"Yeah, I don't see any problem with any of that," Liam says. "We can work out the logistics now that I know what you want to do and where you want to be and let you know what works best for us?"

"Great," Zayn says, shooting Liam a pleased grin that Liam returns.

"Of course, if we're going for naked then we'll have to rethink most of this and work more on angles on the day we shoot," Harry adds helpfully.

Zayn watches as Liam pales under his tan and his body stiffens.

"Plus we'll have to know in advance if we have to send anyone to get waxed," Harry continues blithely.

Liam actually stumbles at that, reaching out for the wall to steady himself. He's looking at Harry with complete panic in his eyes and Zayn lets out a tiny sigh.

"Come on," he says to Liam before he turns to glare at Harry. Harry just winks at him and Zayn hurries through the door, letting it slam behind him with a loud bang. He tries to remember the layout of the station and manages to guide Liam back to his own office and sits him down on his chair. He closes the door behind them and perches on Liam's desk. Liam's got his head in his hands and he's letting out little noises that sound a little pained.

"Liam," Zayn says and waits patiently for Liam to look up at him. "If you decide to go naked, absolutely no one, including me, Harry or anyone else in this building, will be seeing you actually naked. You can wear underwear - we have these nude thongs you can wear - and we can Photoshop things out pretty easily. Harry might not look like a genius, but he is with Photoshop, I swear."

Liam looks a bit calmer so Zayn continues. "And if you don't want to do it naked, we can just do semi-clothed. Hell, Liam we can do it fully clothed if you want. Do you have any idea how ridiculously good-looking all those firefighters in the kitchen were? And if they've all got muscles like yours, then we're good to go."

Zayn's amused when Liam ducks his head, embarrassed. "We can even do it without you, Liam, if this is stressing you out so much." Liam looks up at that and Zayn can't read the expression on his face. But he goes with his gut instinct and rests his hand on Liam's shoulder. Liam's firm, toned, broad shoulder. Zayn clears his throat to distract himself from wanting to let his fingers wander and learn a few more contours of Liam's body. "I think it would be a shame, of course, because you'd be a big seller."

Liam flushes again at that but he doesn't lower his gaze this time. "I'll think about it," he says quietly.

Zayn smiles down at him and allows himself a tiny squeeze of Liam's shoulder before he lifts his hand and moves back. "So, can we schedule the shoot for next week?"

Liam glances to the wall planner behind him. "My week is clear. For once." He touches his wooden desk absently and Zayn finds that more endearing than he probably should.

"Great. Well, thanks for showing us around again, Liam. We'll get going; you're due to start your shift soon right?"

Liam beams like he's pleased Zayn remembered. "Yeah. And it was great to see you again, Zayn. Thanks for being so nice about me freaking out. I really appreciate it."

"No worries," Zayn says honestly. He offers his hand and Liam shakes it solemnly. "I'll see you next week then?"

"And I'll let you know about the uh, naked thing," Liam says. He runs his hands through his hair, messing it up nicely. Zayn stares at it for perhaps a second too long before he offers Liam another smile and turns to leave the office.

They find Harry out front, sitting on the grass under the tree. Niall's sitting next to him, his face turned towards the sun while Harry seems to be telling him the story of the duck photoshoot.

"Time to go!" Zayn calls quickly before Harry can get to the bit where Zayn nearly fell in after Harry.

"Oh, yeah okay," Harry says, scrambling to his feet. "See you later, Niall."

Liam helps Niall to his feet and Niall slings an arm around Liam's waist. "You might be seeing a whole lot more of me soon if Payno decides to go for the naked option."

Harry sends Zayn a smug smile before he turns back to Niall with a wink and a leer that somehow looks both charming and silly. "You know, normally I like to be wooed before I see a boy naked."

"What, by the entire station?" Zayn mutters.

"Well, our shift is about to start," Liam says awkwardly. Zayn shoots him a grateful look that Liam acknowledges..

"Oh like I'm the only one who wants to see a firefighter naked," Harry grumbles when Zayn shoves him into the car. Zayn quickly goes around to the passenger side and slides into the seat.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Zayn lies as he rolls down the window. He waves to Niall and Liam, who haven't gone inside yet even though their shift has already started.

Harry waves too, which is a bit of a problem because his driving is troublesome even when he's got his full attention on the road, but they make it out of the station and onto the road without crashing so Zayn counts it as a win.

"So you hit it off with Niall then." Zayn's not exactly surprised since he saw it coming from a mile away, but he's still worrying about it because of the upcoming shoot and Harry's habit of being a distraction - whether he means to be or not.

Harry throws him a look before returning to the road. "He's nice. I like him. He's funny and cute and he's a firefighter. He actually saves kittens and people for a living. What's not to like?"

"Hey, I like him too," Zayn points out reasonably. "But you _like_ him. And you two together are probably going to be utter idiots."

"I think it's safe to say that we're idiots either way," Harry points out just as reasonably."You worry too much, Zayn. We're not going to disrupt the shoot, I promise."

"Okay. Great. If you could just, you know, not charm Niall into making out with you before that then that would be great." Zayn hates being the boss sometimes. "But after that, you know. Go nuts. With his nuts. Or yours."

"You know, people think you're so serious," Harry says with a snicker. "If they only knew. And stop changing the subject. You're smitten, Zayn. A smitten kitten."

"That's ridiculous."

"You're totally gone on Liam, Zayn. You can't hide it from me. I know the real you. You wanna go nuts with his nuts, admit it." Harry's practically bouncing with glee and Zayn prays that they get home safely.

"I'm not going anywhere near his nuts," Zayn says stiffly. "He's just-"

"Nice, yeah, I remember." Harry pulls up into Zayn's drive and kills the engine. He doesn't move to get out of the car though, shifting in his seat to stare at Zayn. "And yeah, he is nice. And fit. And sweet. God, Zayn, he's bloody perfect."

Zayn's not exactly disagreeing. "Maybe, but we're just - we're not even friends, Harry. We're working on a project together. That's it."

"You don't normally whisk our models off to their office to have private chats and calm them down," Harry says pointedly.

"Our models usually can't talk," Zayn says dryly. "It's just business, Harry. Liam's nice. And he's worried about modelling naked, so it's my job to talk him through that."

"But you definitely fancy him," Harry persists because he's an annoying little shit.

"Not even a little bit." It's the most bald-faced lie he's ever told in his life, including the time he'd told his mum that Superman broke the window that he'd just kicked a football through. Thankfully, Harry decides to let it slide, shrugging as he turns back in his seat.

"Enjoy the rest of your holiday, okay?" Zayn offers. He gets stonewalled, which is terrifyingly unlike Harry. "I'll text you when I've arranged a date for the shoot at the station."

"Cool," is all Harry says.

With a sigh, Zayn gets out of the car and waves as Harry reverses off the drive. He gets a single toot of the horn as Harry heads onto the road, so he figures Harry can’t be totally mad at him.

Tiger's on him the minute he steps inside. Changing the habit of a lifetime, Zayn picks him up and cuddles him to the surprise of both of them. Tiger goes completely still for a moment before he curls up into Zayn's chest and Zayn heads for the sofa, burying his face into Tiger's fur. "Liam's just nice," he says for the millionth time. And gorgeous and wonderful and all the other things Harry said, and more. And it's so, so inconvenient that Zayn's gone and developed a stupid crush on him.

So fucking inconvenient.

*

Liam's name flashes up on Zayn's phone while he's out in the park. He's been alternating between reading Iron Man and taking scenic photographs. He'd got an amazing shot of a someone's pet dog racing after whatever he'd scented - midstride and tongue lolling out to the side. It'll probably go in his private collection if he decides to ever try and display some of his work for the general public.

He waits three rings to pick it up. "Hey, Liam. What's up?"

"Hi Zayn!" Liam's cheerful voice comes through loud and clear. "Whatcha up to?"

"Enjoying my little holiday," Zayn says slowly. He settles back against the bench and crosses his legs. "I'm in the park, the one by St Johns?"

"I love that park." Liam sounds a bit wistful. "Lou and I play football there sometimes."

"Yeah?" Zayn's lips curve into a smile. "I've probably walked right past you then."

"Wow, that would be so weird, right? Man, that's crazy," Liam says with a laugh. "So you're having a nice break then?"

"Yeah, I mean we don't get a lot of time off, since we have to take work when we can get it." Zayn watches as a frisbee flies past, followed by a young boy yelling and laughing as he chases it. "It's nice to have some downtime, you know? Just relax and hide away from everything."

"On your own?" Liam asks, sounding a bit confused. It makes Zayn smile as he buries a hand into his own hair.

"Yeah. I guess I'm a bit of a loner, sometimes."

"But don't you feel lonely?" Liam asks.

Yes, Zayn thinks. "There's a difference between being alone and being lonely, I think," Zayn says quietly.

"I'm a bit crap at being alone, mate," Liam admits, his voice dropping to match Zayn's low tones and it feels a bit like they're sharing secrets.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Zayn counters softly. "Harry's the same. He can't go more than an hour without texting me just to make sure I'm still here. He's always off out with mates or seeing his family and stuff. He makes friends pretty easily though so there's always someone new hanging around."

"Niall will be devastated," Liam says conspiratorially. It makes Zayn laugh and he files away that bit of information for later. "Oh! I forgot why I called! Sorry mate, I'm just waffling on, wasting your holiday."

"Course you're not," Zayn tells him. "I like talking to you, Liam. We're like, friends, yeah?"

"Friends," Liam says slowly like it's a foreign concept to him. Except Zayn's certain that Liam must have a million friends, like Harry. People like Liam and Harry and Niall and Louis attract people because they're lit up from inside. "Yeah, of course we're mates."

"So what was it you were ringing me for?" Zayn prompts him gently.

"Oh, about the shoot," Liam says and his voice changes, becoming more brisk and business-like. "We're uh, gonna go shirtless. Not naked though. Trousers will absolutely be worn at all times."

Zayn doesn't bother to hide his grin since Liam can't see him. "That seems like a fair rule."

"And um, with my um, my photo," Liam says before he pauses, clearly searching for the right words.

"You can decide how risqué you want your shot to be, Liam," Zayn says softly. "It'll be totally up to you. Fully clothed, if you like."

"Oh, yeah no I don't need to go fully clothed," Liam says, sounding relieved. "I mean, I go shirtless on the beach, right?"

The thing is, Zayn's got a hell of an imagination. And right now, he's struggling not to picture Liam shirtless, with a taut, flat belly and broad shoulders. All lean muscle. "Yeah, but it's different when you're gonna be in a photo that's gonna hang up in people's kitchens and offices or wherever," Zayn tells him a little gruffly. "It's okay to be nervous, Liam. But Harry and me, we'll hold your hand, okay?"

"Okay, but maybe Harry should hold Niall's hand instead," Liam says with a laugh. "I think he'd kill me if Harry held my hand."

"Alright, well I'll hold your hand then," Zayn says, keeping his voice light because there's no reason for him to suddenly feel much warmer and for his belly to swoop the way it does. "So what's the plan then?"

"I've talked it over with the shift manager and we're still ironing out a few details but everything should be okay, barring a massive emergency," Liam says.

"I don't suppose it would be possible to shut down the station for a few hours," Zayn says. He's not expecting Liam to say yes but it would definitely be the easiest option for all of them.

"Yeah no, we can't do that," Liam says apologetically. "So the only problem will be not getting in the way of the on-duty staff. We can have a fire engine out on the front lot and park a second one behind it that you can use. Can you do those shots first? And then the ones in the station? That would be the easiest to work around."

Zayn's got his sketchbook out of his bag and he's making quick notes. "Yeah, that's fine," he murmurs.

"And we can schedule the shift so that all the guys you want to photograph will either be off shift or on the later shift," Liam continues. Zayn's impressed at how much thought Liam's put into this. It's easy to see why he's the boss, even though if Zayn were to guess, Liam is one of the younger firefighters at the station. "We'll have to set aside some time to use the fireman's pole, which you and Harry were talking about. It might be best to use Ashton there since he's got the best upper body strength. It might come in handy if you're taking lots of pictures there."

Zayn can't remember meeting Ashton but he takes Liam's word for it. "Thanks Liam. For the suggestion and all the help. Thanks for being so flexible and accommodating, because most people would be to have me disrupting their workday like this."

Liam goes quiet for so long that Zayn starts frowning before he checks his phone to make sure he hasn't lost the call.

"No problem, Zayn," Liam says finally. "Does next Tuesday work for you?"

"Liam, I'm on holiday, every day's good for me," Zayn reminds him. "But yeah, Tuesday sounds great. What time?"

"Ten should work best." There's another long pause. "Well, I guess I'll see you on Tuesday then."

"Yeah," Zayn says, wondering why Tuesday seems so bloody far away. "I'll see you on Tuesday. Bye, Liam."

"Bye Zayn."

Zayn listens to the triple beep of their line disconnecting before he lowers the phone to rest on his thigh. He lets the peace and quiet settle over him, his fingers tracing patterns over the screen of his phone.

With a sigh, he packs up his things and walks the long way home.

*

On Friday, Zayn's out on a last minute assignment Ed had thrown his way. It's only a small shoot for an ad campaign and they're looking for crowd shots, so Zayn's out in the town centre and Harry's running after people with consent forms, desperately trying to charm them into signing them.

Zayn's holding two cups of coffee when Harry comes back with all his forms signed, looking smug and in a much better mood than the last time Zayn saw him.

"Cheers," Harry says when he takes the offered cup. "So what've you been up to since the other day then?"

"Not much," Zayn says. He drops down onto the bench they're set up near and glances at Harry through his sunglasses. "Spoke to Liam the other day while I was in the park. We'll need to be at the fire station on Tuesday by ten."

"You and Liam had a date in the park?" Harry asks, his voice rising with each word until Zayn winces with the shriek Harry ends on.

"No, I was in the park and he called to let me know about the arrangements."

"Well that was nice of him." Harry emphasises the word nice and Zayn turns slightly to glare at him. "So, I guess we're not doing a naked shoot then."

"Nope. Liam's got a trousers at all times rule."

"Niall's gonna hate that then," Harry says with a frown. "Come to think of it, _I_ hate that rule. Liam should lighten up a little."

"He's just a little nervous," Zayn says, catching even himself off-guard with how possessive he feels towards Liam. "Not everyone's as comfortable with their body as you, Harry."

Harry just stares at him for a minute until Zayn looks away, a little embarrassed. "Hey, no I know," Harry says, more softly this time. "I was kidding, Zayn. Besides, I don't think Liam has any body issues, at least not according to Niall. Niall says Liam has a washboard stomach and the best biceps of anyone on the roster, including Bressie. And Liam definitely qualifies for being stupidly handsome."

"Still," Zayn says. He clears his throat, which has gone a little dry and he sips at his coffee before he continues. "Some people just aren't comfortable stripping off in public."

"Or!" Harry bursts out, his face lit up like he's just figured something out. Zayn dreads that look. "Or maybe he just doesn't want to strip in front of you. Because he fancies you! And he thinks the photoshoot is gonna be embarrassing!"

Zayn just stares flatly at Harry, who doesn't bat an eyelid and just stares back at him, unblinking.

"No, this is good, Zayn. It's been ages since you've been out on a date. Or fancied anyone. It's about time you went out and had a half-decent shag or whatever. Not that I think Liam does anything half-decent because Liam's the type of guy to put loads of effort in. I bet he's great in bed. Oh god, you have to tell me everything when you get him into bed, okay? I bet he does amazing things with all that upper body strength."

"Will you shut up?" Zayn mutters at him. "I don't fancy Liam, he doesn't fancy me, and we're not going to end up in my bed. Or his. No beds!"

Harry just grins cheerfully so Zayn does the only thing he can in such times. He drains his coffee and throws the empty cardboard cup right at Harry's head. It hits him square between the eyes, and Zayn feels marginally appeased.

"Oww!" Harry rubs at the pinkening skin, pouting up at Zayn. "That was mean, Zayn."

"Sorry," Zayn says with an unapologetic smirk. He does, however, hand Harry the banana muffin he'd bought for him earlier. It's amusing to watch Harry waver over being annoyed and wanting the muffin.

In the end, the muffin wins and Harry's grinning at him over a mouthful of muffin and crumbs falling down onto his shirt.

"All better?" Zayn asks dryly when Harry's finished, wiping his hand over the back of his mouth and licking his already-slick lips.

"Much, thanks," Harry says happily. He glances up at Zayn through his lashes, managing to somehow look both innocent and terrible at the same time. "So."

Zayn freezes because he knows that tone. "What?" he asks suspiciously.

"Well," Harry says slowly enough to drive Zayn crazy. "I don't know how this fits with your whole denial-about-Liam thing, but Niall's invited us out for drinks."

Zayn very carefully turns around and busies himself with putting their equipment away. After a few moments, Harry's up next to him and helping, their hands working in perfect harmony to put everything in its place.

"Zayn?" Harry prompts quietly when they're done. He nudges Zayn with his elbow, light enough that Zayn barely feels it.

"Why's Niall done that then?" he asks finally. His chest feels a bit tight and it only loosens a little when Harry leans into his side and wraps a hand around his hip.

"He thought it might help everyone relax for the photoshoot if we all get to know each other," Harry says innocently.

"And you want to get into his pants," Zayn finishes for him.

Harry looks outraged for about three seconds before his expression crumples into a huge grin. "I want to get him out of his pants, actually," he says cheekily, nudging his hip into Zayn's. "So you know, you'd be doing me a huge favour if you came along and pretended to enjoy yourself for a few drinks."

"Shut up." Zayn reaches up to tug on Harry's hair just on principle. "So when did you get Niall's number then? That was fast, even for you."

Harry actually flushes, and Zayn stares at him in surprise. Harry's got an incredibly high threshold for embarrassment; so high that Zayn's never seen him blush or avoid his eyes before. Zayn's gaze narrows and he readjusts his thinking about the whole Harry-and-Niall thing. "Harry?"

"I might have cyber-stalked him just a little?" Harry's voice gets a little higher and he coughs to clear his throat before he glances up at Zayn with a shy grin. "I might have found his twitter account and oh my _god_ Zayn he's perfect. He's hilarious and he takes these selfies that are just _insane_ and okay, I might have spent a few hours scrolling through his feed but after that, I started following him and he followed me back."

Zayn wonders if Harry's emotional development got stunted at school because sometimes he can be so young that it's painful to watch. "And?" he prompts gently.

"And we might have tweet-flirted for a bit," Harry admits. He's still a bit flushed, his cheeks pink and his smile so wide that it almost looks painful. Zayn can't help but stare. "So I DM-ed him and gave him my number. He texted me and we've been texting ever since."

"Texting or sexting?" Zayn asks, genuinely curious. Which is a dangerous thing around Harry because he has a problem with over-sharing.

"Just texting," Harry says with a sad-sounding sigh. "He's barely even flirted with me since we stopped tweeting."

"But he's invited you out, that's good, right?" Zayn plucks Harry's phone out of his hands and flicks into his texts. Niall's the top message, which isn't a surprise at all. With a quick glance to make sure Harry's alright with him scrolling through Niall's texts and apparently he's fine with it, Zayn scrolls up a bit and starts reading down.

"He puts exclamation marks after every sentence," Harry says. He's shifted to hook his chin over Zayn's shoulder so he can see the phone's screen. "And he really likes the poo emoji. He uses it a lot."

"An emoji for all occasions," Zayn agrees dryly. "Harry, you're an idiot. You know that, right? That you're an idiot?"

"Sure." Harry doesn't even sound surprised, which just goes to prove Zayn's entire point.

He turns and stares at Harry in disbelief, holding the phone up between them, the screen pointed towards Harry. "He's not sexting you because he's trying to get to know you, you muppet."

Harry grabs his phone from Zayn and starts scrolling through himself. Zayn watches as Harry's beam gets bigger and bigger until he rolls his eyes and picks up all their equipment. "Alright, let's go home so you can spend the evening texting Niall and sharing all your deepest darkest secrets."

"Zaaaayn," Harry whines as he follows Zayn towards the car. "We've got to go out now! He's so cute, please Zayn, please please please please _please_! He asked me what my favourite animal was!"

Zayn's not entirely sure why that's important but one look at Harry's face tells him that it just _is_. He hums a little as they walk, Harry slowly getting more and more anxious and Zayn finally decides to put him out of his misery when they get to the car.

"Alright," he says simply, and Harry's throwing his arms around Zayn, screeching loudly and trying to press as many kisses to Zayn's unshaven cheek as he can while Zayn tries to fend him off. They end up half-pressed against the car, laughing as Harry puckers his lips in exaggeration and Zayn's leaning back, trying to escape.

Eventually Harry backs off enough for Zayn to slip free and they climb into the car after they've put the equipment in the backseat.

Zayn manages to last five minutes in the car before he turns to Harry in the driving seat. "So," he says as casually as he can, "who else is coming?"

Harry, to his credit, doesn't burst out laughing. "I think he mentioned that Louis wanted to come."

Zayn counts to three in his head. "What about Liam?"

Harry turns to beam at him before he turns his attention back to the road. "Why Zayn, I thought you didn't fancy him. But now that you mention it, I think Niall did say something about dragging Liam along."

They pull up onto Zayn's drive and Zayn contemplates just banging his head against the wall. "I'm not coming if you're going to go on about me and Liam all night."

Harry genuinely scowls at him. "Fine."

Zayn leans over to ruffle his hair, somewhat relieved when Harry tilts his head into Zayn's touch. "Don't pout, mate. And text me when, okay?"

"Niall might have mentioned Sunday," Harry says quickly, flashing Zayn his most charming smile. It does _not_ work on him. At all.

"Fine," Zayn mutters. That gives him three days to prepare to see Liam in non-firefighting clothes. It's probably just about enough time.

"This is gonna be so great. Niall's gonna be so excited!"

Feeling indulgent, Zayn drags Harry in for an awkward hug over the handbrake, his hand settling on the back of Harry's neck as an anchor. "He'd be mad not to be all over you," Zayn murmurs quietly. He feels Harry jerk in surprise before Harry's face buries itself into Zayn's neck. Zayn lets the second tick by before he pulls back, his hand ruffling Harry's hair before he's stepping out of the car and leaving the equipment for Harry to sort out at his place. "See you Sunday then. Swing by and pick me up, yeah?"

"Only if you're on time," Harry says. It's an idle threat because they both know Zayn's never been on time for anything outside of work, but Zayn nods solemnly like he's actually going to listen this time and Harry, still looking the tiniest bit shocked, waves as Zayn pulls away and heads for the front door.

He finds Tiger curled up on the sofa, blinking sleepily up at him.

"It's not a big deal," Zayn tells him. "So I'm going out. And Liam's gonna be there. But I'm going as Harry's wingman, so it's fine. It's not a big deal."

Tiger settles back down on his paws, closes his eyes and ignores Zayn.

Zayn can't even blame him.

*

Zayn's bedroom looks like a bomb has hit it. There's clothes scattered all over his bed, there's shoes lying haphazardly across the floor and Zayn's standing in the middle in nothing but a towel wrapped securely around his waist, staring at the mess like he's hoping it'll just tidy itself. And while that's happening, he'll somehow manage to decide what to wear because pulling all of his clothes out of the wardrobe didn't help in the slightest. He'd jumped in the shower mostly because he'd needed a break from trying to pick the perfect casual-not-trying-but-still-hot outfit but also because he's only got an hour left before Harry's picking him up for their night out with Liam, Niall and Louis.

He yanks on a pair of black boxers, dropping the towel over the radiator without any care before he starts trawling through his shirts. He discards everything plaid, all the stripes and anything with a band on it, just in case Liam's got terrible taste in music and doesn't happen to like The Who or Bob Marley. It's something he's trying not to think about because he's not sure he can be mates with someone who's got terrible taste in music. But still, he discards them just in case.

It narrows down his choices a lot and he's left picking up the same four shirts over and over again, wondering if Liam prefers blue or red before he throws them down in disgust. He shouldn't care what Liam prefers because he doesn't even know if Liam _likes_ guys and he certainly doesn't know if Liam likes _him_ like that. Just because Zayn's got a crush on Liam, it doesn't mean that Liam feels the same and he tells himself that over and over like a mantra.

He tugs the grey henley over his head and wriggles into a pair of black skinny jeans without any tears, just in case the bar they're going to has a dumb dress-code. It's always a risk whenever Harry chooses the venue. He opts for black Doc Martins and gives himself one more look in the full length mirror before he turns to his dresser. He slides on his three favourite rings, all on the chunky side because he likes the weight of them and selects two silver chains to wear around his neck.

Zayn checks his watch; he's got fifteen minutes to do his hair before Harry's due to arrive.

Fourteen minutes later and Zayn's answering the door, looking harried and stressed enough that Harry just stares at him for a minute.

"Er, you alright mate?" Harry asks, side-stepping past him into the house. "You’re looking a bit pale, Zayn."

"Hair," is all Zayn grumbles before he's back up the stairs, not even caring that Harry's on his heels and ignoring Harry's burst of laughter when they reach his bedroom.

"Still pretending you don't fancy Liam then?" Harry asks because he's a terrible, terrible mate. He clears a space on the bed and plonks himself down before he busies himself by putting clothes back on their hangers.

Maybe Harry isn't quite so terrible.

"Shut up," Zayn murmurs without any heat as he goes back to trying to style his hair into a half-decent style. He barely pays any attention to Harry tidying his room until he turns, finally pleased with his hair to find the room cleaner than when he'd first started trying to get ready. "Fuck, thanks man."

Harry just shrugs. "S'a good distraction."

Which is when Zayn takes in how much of an effort Harry's made for tonight. He's in a pale mustard coloured shirt unbuttoned to his butterfly and he's got a long chain that rests between his swallows. He's got on the tightest black jeans that Zayn thinks he's ever seen Harry in and he's styled his hair for once so that it's almost behaving and falling in soft waves to his shoulders.

"Niall's never gonna get those jeans off you, Harry," Zayn says.

Harry beams at him. "You think he'll try then?"

Zayn tugs him up and pushes him towards the door, aiming a swat at Harry's arse. He hears Harry giggle when his palm connects in a light slap. "I'm sure you'll do your best to convince him to."

Harry's response is to pause in the hallway and wiggle his butt at Zayn, who just gives him another shove towards the stairs.

"C'mon, he's gonna want to jump you when he sees you, alright?" Zayn's never seen Harry this nervous before. It's cute, when it's not being frustrating as hell.

They walk because it's only about 20 minutes away and it means Harry can have a drink, which is probably a good thing because he looks like he's going to be sick every time Zayn glances at him. By the time they reach the bar, Zayn's half-dragging Harry with him because Harry had decided five minutes back that perhaps this wasn't a good idea and they should reschedule. But they've made it and Zayn spots the lads right away. They're crowded into a booth, but the three of them are almost sat on top of each other while the other side of the booth is empty, presumably for the two of them.

"There you go," Zayn murmurs soothingly to Harry, nodding to where the boys are sat. They haven't been spotted yet so Harry takes a few deep breaths while Zayn rubs his back. "Ready?"

"I feel sick," Harry says. Zayn takes it as a 'yes' and drags him towards the booth. Louis sees them first, his grin wide and welcoming as he pops out of the booth.

"Alright lads?" he asks. "I'll get the beers in, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah thanks mate," Zayn says. "I'll get the next round."

"Shut up and sit down," is Louis' response. It's not as rude as it could be, and Zayn finds himself laughing as Harry tugs him down into the booth. Which means they're now paired off nicely, Harry opposite Niall and he's staring at Liam. And Zayn physically feels his crush expanding while he looks at Liam, who's dressed in a blue plaid shirt over a plain white vest. His hair looks like it's been flattened by sheer force of will as it threatens to curl at the tips and Zayn is a little lost as Liam leans in and smiles at him.

"Hi," Liam says before he bites down on his bottom lip. Zayn can't help but stare as Liam's teeth worry his already plump, pink-slicked lip and he has to clear his throat and drag his gaze up to meet Liam's bright, excited eyes.

"Hi Liam." Zayn turns to say hi to Niall but he's already deep in conversation with Harry, both of them leaning in towards each other. Zayn's pretty sure that if he glanced under the table, they'd be playing footsie.

"He's been looking forward to this all day," Liam says quietly. Another glance at Niall reveals that he's not listening to them at all because he doesn't even look their way as Harry talks at him.

"He's not the only one," Zayn says, nodding his head towards Harry. "It's weird, this. Seeing you outside in the normal world."

Liam laughs and curls his hand around the bottle he's drinking from. "Yeah? I guess it is, for you. Sorry to disappoint but I'm just a normal lad out of work."

"No, it's nice," Zayn says quickly. He kind of wants to reach out and touch Liam's hands where his trimmed, clean fingernails are scratching idly at the bottle label but something holds him back. "I'm glad we're doing this."

Liam's hands still for a moment. His face brightens and Zayn's envious of how easily Liam expresses every emotion on his handsome face. "Me too, Zayn."

Five beers drop onto the table and Louis sits himself down half in Liam's lap. He then pushes the pints around the table, rolling his eyes at Niall and Harry who are too involved with each other to notice the other three.

"So Zayn, are you ready to make us all look like models then?" Louis asks. He's elbowing Liam in the face every time he lifts his pint and it doesn't seem to bother Liam or Louis. "Payno here's been in the gym all week trying to get rid of his flabby belly. I've told him it's a losing battle and we can't all be naturally gorgeous hunks like myself and Nialler but he's trying his best, aren't ya Liam?"

"Yeah Lou." Liam hooks his arm around Louis and squeezes his side. Zayn's not sure if it's meant to be teasing or reassuring, or maybe both. "Didn't realise you knew where the gym was, mate."

"Har-har," Louis drawls sarcastically. "Don't need to know, do I?"

They continue to bicker while Zayn sits back and watches, amused by their little performance. And it is a performance, Zayn realises.

"Zayn's gonna be busy with the old Photoshop when it comes to you, Liam," Louis continues. He turns to Zayn and shoots him a sharp look. Zayn zones out for a moment to focus on Louis' face, at the sharp angles of his face and the glint in his eyes that he hopes the camera will catch just right. "If you ever get in front of the camera, that is."

Zayn catches Liam's muttered: "I told you I would," but he pretends not to since it obviously wasn't meant for his ears.

"Harry's the one who touches up the photos," Zayn says slowly. He winks at both of them, even as his gaze lingers on Liam. "Don't reckon he'll be too busy on this job though."

Liam flushes while Louis leans forward towards Zayn. Zayn finds himself leaning in too. "Probably a good thing, mate. Reckon our Nialler's gonna be a terrible distraction on the day. Wait til Harry gets an eyeful of his pale chest. Blinding, that's what it is."

"Hey," Liam protests. "Niall's got a great body."

"I know, that's what I'm saying," Louis says, leaning back into Liam's side. He drains his pint and looks slyly up at Zayn. "Your round, mate?"

"Yeah," Zayn says immediately, getting to his feet. His own pint is only half-empty and Liam's barely sipped at his, but Niall and Harry have finished theirs too. Not that they're paying any attention to their drinks.

"Payno will help you carry them, won't you mate?" Louis says, sliding out of the booth and tugging Liam to his feet. He then slides back into the booth and proceeds to drape himself over Niall's back. "Hey Nialler. Whatcha talkin' about?"

Zayn stays long enough to see Niall turn around, blinking like he's coming out of a daze. Zayn's seen that look far too often because Harry has that effect on men and women of all ages alike. He turns to the bar and Liam falls easily into step next to him.

"You don't have to be nervous," Zayn says quietly as they walk to the bar. He doesn't look over at Liam and keeps his gaze locked straight ahead. "About the photoshoot."

"I'm not," Liam says. When Zayn shoots him a look, Liam laughs and shrugs. They reach the bar and Zayn leans against it, more than happy to wait to be served. "Okay, maybe I am. But I'll be fine, honestly Zayn. Don't worry. I won't back out."

"I'm not worried about you backing out, I'm worried about you forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do." Zayn reaches out a little hesitantly and places his hand on Liam's arm, feeling Liam flex slightly at his touch.

"I'm not, I promise," Liam swears earnestly. "And you know, you shouldn't believe most of the things Louis says. I haven't been in the gym more than usual. He's just teasing."

"No, yeah I got that," Zayn tells him with a gentle smile.

"Oh, okay," Liam says, flushing. "I didn't know when I first met him. I thought he hated me. We used to argue like, all the time."

"Seems like you worked things out in the end though." Zayn's pretty good at reading people, since he's more of a sit back and watch kinda guy. And he's seen the way Louis' eyes light up when Liam joins in with his banter. And he's watched Liam lean into Louis with an ease that comes from a closeness that Zayn envies, if he’s being honest.

"Oh yeah, we're like best mates now," Liam says cheerfully. He catches the bartender's attention and orders their drinks before he settles back against the bar more comfortably. "I just didn't want you to think that he was being a dick or anything. Loads of people think that about Lou at first but like, I want you to like him because he's ace, you know?"

"Hey," Zayn murmurs, reaching over to place his hand on Liam's broad shoulder, letting his thumb rub gently against Liam's shirt and trying not to wonder at how easy he finds it to lean into Liam’s space. "I like Louis. I like Niall. And I like you."

He feels Liam's shoulders relax almost immediately. Then he's being pulled into a tight hug that makes the air whoosh out of his lungs as he finds himself being held against a very warm, very _firm_ chest. And Louis was definitely lying about Liam's belly, Zayn thinks idly as he fights the urge to just tilt his head slightly into Liam's neck and _breathe_. He allows himself to press his palms against Liam's back, registering the muscles underneath that have him itching to strip Liam right there.

"We like you too," Liam says before he pulls back, looking slightly embarrassed so Zayn keeps his hand on Liam's shoulder while Liam pulls his wallet out to pay for the drinks. "And yeah I'm nervous about the photoshoot but I think I'll be alright. You'll hold my hand, yeah?"

Liam turns to him with a trusting look on his face and Zayn tries very hard not to melt right then and there. "Yeah, course I will," Zayn says gruffly.

"I just want it to be good," Liam continues. "I don't want to mess it up."

"Liam, you won't. Okay?"

"I hope not." Liam bites down on his bottom lip again and Zayn has to turn away before he gets distracted by the sight.

He picks up two of the pints and waits for Liam to gather up the other three before they make their way through the bar. They find Louis' moved next to Harry and they're arguing over who has the best defence between Niall's beloved Derby County and Louis' home team Doncaster Rovers. Harry appears to be refereeing what seems to be an ongoing, long-standing disagreement but mostly he seems to be deliberately encouraging them.

"Come on lads, let's not get into this again," Liam says as he slides in next to Niall and throws his arm around Niall's shoulders. Niall closes his mouth around what looked like a fierce defence of Derby's goalkeeping stats and leans slightly into Liam while Louis sits back, folds his arms across his chest and looks ridiculously smug. "You don't want to scare Zayn and Harry off, yeah?"

"Oh, Zayn and I argue for hours over who gets to choose the music in the car when we go on assignments," Harry says breezily. "This is nothing. Zayn's threatened to throw me out of the car while he was doing 90mph on the motorway once."

"You were trying to put Iggy Azaela's album on!" Zayn's still offended at the very memory of it.

"Dude." Niall's shaking his head and Liam reaches behind him to pat his shoulder in solidarity.

"I was feelin' fancy!" Harry pouts prettily.

"Mate, that's a terrible pun," Louis informs Harry most seriously. "And just no."

"I would have kicked you out of the car for that," Niall tells Harry, and Zayn almost feels sorry for Harry when he looks a bit heartbroken.

"I decided to keep him though," Zayn says, his lips curving into a smile as he look over at a slightly mollified Harry. "He does make really good coffee. And he's alright with a camera, I suppose."

"Heyyy." Harry's protest is half-hearted at best because he's beaming back at Zayn like he’s hung the moon.

"But basically, Harry's never allowed to pick songs at karaoke, is what you're really sayin'," Niall says.

"Is karaoke on tonight?" Liam asks excitedly, leaning forward like he's trying to spot anyone roaming around with a microphone and a laptop with subtitled songs on it.

"Nah mate, that's tomorrow night." Niall sighs sadly and Zayn doesn't miss the quick look he shoots Harry before he turns to Liam. "Shame though."

"Payno loves a bit of karaoke, don't you mate?" Louis throws a scrunched up napkin at Liam who catches it easily. "Loves a bit of Timberlake. A right show off he is."

"Oh, like you're not," Liam returns easily. "You were belting out that Amy Winehouse song last week."

"Oh man, that was the best," Niall chips in. It starts an argument over who the best singer is - mostly between Niall and Louis while Liam defends both of them loyally.

"Me and Payno _slayed_ when we did Buble though." Niall's gesturing wildly and Harry's staring at him in awe. Zayn kind of wishes he had his camera to capture the moment. "Brought the fuckin’ house down."

"Do you sing, Zayn?" Liam asks him quietly while Niall and Louis bicker. Harry's sitting with a dreamy look on his face and Zayn's pretty sure he's imagining Niall serenading him with Michael Buble songs.

"Not really," Zayn says with a shrug.

"Zayn's a brilliant singer," Harry interrupts loudly, making Zayn blink in surprise. "He's got a sick voice, he's just being modest."

"Yeah?" Liam's tone invites Harry to tell him more so Harry, of course, does.

"Yeah, he only really likes RnB and rap but you should hear his high notes," Harry says excitedly. "They're like, incredible. Totally swoon-worthy."

"Now I really wish they'd had karaoke tonight," Liam says mournfully.

"Just get Zayn drunk and he'll start singing," Harry tells him in a mock whisper while Zayn rolls his eyes.

"My round then," Niall says cheerfully and he somehow climbs over both Liam and Zayn to stumble out of the booth. No one is surprised when Harry trips out of the booth after him and they head to the bar, their heads bent towards each other and their laughs ringing out loud and clear in sync.

"Uh, resistance is futile?" Liam offers helplessly.

Zayn just grimaces into his beer before he tips his head back and downs the rest of his pint.

A few hours and many, many pints later, Zayn knows he's got a goofy grin on his face as Harry pawing at Niall's face. He's watched Harry pull every trick in the book to get Niall to kiss him, but either Niall's not interested, which Zayn doesn't believe for a second, or he's just as determined to not kiss Harry as Harry is to drag Niall back to his place tonight.

"You think they're gonna hook up then?" Liam murmurs in his ear.

"Harry is relentless," Zayn murmurs back. He turns to look at Liam, goofy grin still in place, and as he moves, his thigh presses against Liam's. He doesn't bother to move away because he's drunk and feeling light-headed and Liam's grinning at him. Liam looks about as drunk as Zayn feels and his eyes have gone all squinty and slightly unfocused, which Zayn thinks is _adorable_.

Zayn snuggles a little closer to Liam, humming quietly to himself as he lets his head drop on Liam's shoulder; pleased when Liam drapes his arm around Zayn's shoulders.

"You two look cosy." Harry's across the booth from them and he's sitting on Niall's lap, which is a definite squeeze but neither of them look particularly unhappy about it. In fact, Harry's got his fingers buried in Niall's hair and he's pulling gently while Niall's eyes are closed, a smile playing on his lips.

Zayn's too drunk to answer but yeah, he's pretty damn cosy right now. They'd lost Louis about an hour ago to a cute brunette but Liam and Niall hadn't seemed surprised at Louis' disappearance so Zayn figures it must be a thing Louis does.

"We should probably get going," Niall says, his eyes still closed. He makes absolutely no indication that he's going to actually move.

"You're pretty drunk," Harry says with a straight face before he bursts into giggles. "I'm pretty drunk."

Zayn knows where this is going, which is why he reluctantly lifts his head from Liam's shoulder. "No, Harry. Liam's gonna take Niall home and you're coming back to mine."

"But we could look after each other," Harry pouts at Zayn, his hands stilling in Niall's hair and eliciting a groan of dismay from Niall. Harry's fingers start moving again. "And I can make him breakfast in bed."

"Nope," Zayn says flatly. Harry visibly deflates, falling back against Niall who grunts loudly but his arms come up to circle around Harry, his hands clasped together around Harry's hips.

Liam's fingers flex around Zayn's shoulders and Zayn turns slightly to find Liam flushed and happy and not moving away at all even though they're probably a lot closer than personal space should allow. "Hey," Zayn says a bit stupidly but his brain isn't working as quickly as it usually does. Plus, Liam looks so cute with his lopsided grin and his bright, slightly unfocused eyes. They'd moved onto mixers a while back and Zayn had had to sit and suffer through the sight of Liam's lips wrapped around a straw and the occasional flick of Liam's tongue to circle around the straw and it had been agony at times. He'd had to disappear to the loo just to adjust himself because Louis, he learned, had sharp eyes and a loose tongue and Zayn wasn't prepared to let himself be totally humiliated tonight.

"Hey," Liam echoes happily. "You wanna share a taxi back?"

"To mine?" Zayn asks stupidly. His mouth is hanging open in surprise and his gaze drops to Liam's mouth helplessly.

"Yeah, we can halve the cost," Liam says. "Niall can crash at mine and you said Harry was staying with you, so we can share, right? I live near the station. Like, two streets away."

"Oh," Zayn says, feeling even more stupid. He'd thought for a minute that Liam was- but of course he wasn't. "Yeah, course mate. I'm about five minutes from here, over on George Street."

"On the way then." Liam beams at him.

"Yeah," Zayn murmurs. He shuffles the tiniest bit closer to Liam because he's missed being touched and Liam's all nice and firm and warm, and best of all he doesn't seem to mind that Zayn's totally invading his space. Zayn's half-tempted to crawl into Liam's lap and fall asleep right there, his face buried in Liam's chest. It looks comfortable and broad and Zayn's certain that Liam's too nice to stop him. "Yeah, that sounds good mate."

He settles for putting his hand gently on Liam's belly, his thumb idly stroking over soft cotton and the taut skin underneath until the lights come on in the bar and they're being ushered outside.

"You think Louis' alright then?" Zayn asks Liam while they wait for a taxi to pull up. Harry and Niall are huddled together, whispering not-so-quietly to each other and giggling into each other's shoulders.

"Yeah, he went home with El," Liam says. He fishes out his phone and types quickly before he looks up and shrugs. "They're kind of off-and-on a lot but they always end up back together. Louis always wants to come to this bar because El's usually here with her mates. If they wanted to stay away from each other, El would go to a different bar or Louis wouldn't come here. It kind of works for them, even though it probably sounds completely crazy."

Liam's phone buzzes and he looks down to read the screen before he grins. "Yeah, he's at El's."

"I'm in no position to judge," Zayn says, lifting his hands up so his palms are facing Liam. "My last relationship was months ago and it wasn't exactly perfect. I'm a bit shit at relationships, actually."

"Oh," Liam says, a frown forming on his beautiful face. Zayn wants to reach up to smooth the lines away from his face but he shoves his hands in his pockets instead. "I bet you're not."

"No, I really am," Zayn says with a half-laugh and a faint snort of derision for himself. "I bet you're really good at them though. Relationships, I mean. I bet you remember every anniversary and bring flowers home and book surprise holidays for two."

A flush creeps over Liam's cheekbones. "I like being in a relationship."

Zayn feels an odd pain in his belly. "Yeah? Are you uh, seeing someone now?"

Liam winces, and Zayn immediately wants to claw the question back and make entirely different life choices. Like winding his arms around Liam's neck and begging for a hug because Liam's definitely a cuddler. And Zayn loves cuddles more than almost anything.

"No, I'm single right now." Liam looks a bit lost and sad so Zayn drags him in for a quick cuddle that's over almost before it's begun. "My last boyfriend decided that he couldn't cope with my odd shifts and thought I should cut back on my hours. Maybe change jobs to a desk job in an office."

Zayn doesn't know Liam all that well, but what he does know is how much Liam loves his job. He'd listened to Liam tell the story of a call they'd had earlier in the week where they had been called out to an assisted-living apartment to rescue occupants of a broken-down elevator. Liam had barely mentioned how dangerous it had been for them to get inside the elevator shaft and drop down onto the elevator, even though Niall had turned pale as Liam brushed through the basics of the story. Louis had apparently been the first into the elevator and had managed to get the doors open wide enough to start helping people through the gap. Liam had talked about Bressie's strength in helping a woman in a wheelchair through without causing her any pain or jolting her, and he'd talked about how great Niall had been with first-aid and calming everyone down. He'd talked about how Louis had stood between the doors, making sure they hadn't closed on anyone and he'd shushed Niall when Niall had tried to interject to explain that Liam had directed the entire rescue operation and helped with every stage of the rescue.

The way Liam's eyes had flashed with pride and satisfaction at a job well done was enough to tell Zayn that firefighting was Liam's vocation in life, in the same way he'd known that holding a camera was his own path. Zayn can't imagine anyone wanting to take that away from Liam.

"Sounds like a right twat," Zayn says lightly. He nudges Liam with his hip and pulls the stupidest face he can to make Liam laugh, pleased when Liam's low, throaty chuckle spills out of him.

They're interrupted by a taxi pulling up to the curb and it's a brief struggle to decide who goes where. Since it's a black cab, no one has to sit up front but Liam and Zayn decide to sit with their back to the driver because they're more sober than the other two, who fall into the backseat with giggles and yelps as Harry bangs his elbow on the door and Niall falls over Harry.

"Watch your knee, Nialler," Liam says as he climbs in last.

"What's wrong with your knee?" Harry asks, leaning down to peer at Niall's denim-clad knee. Niall laughs and shoves Harry away, ignoring Harry's pout and tucking Harry into his side instead.

"Got the knees of an 80 year old man," Niall tells him. "Liam and Louis keep trying to convince me to have surgery to fix 'em."

"You should," Liam says firmly. "You put too much pressure on your knees and then spend two days laid up with ice packs on them, moaning that you just want to get up while the rest of us have to stop you from pushing yourself too hard."

"Yeah, I'm with Liam," Zayn says with a shrug. "For what it's worth," he adds with a smile for Niall, who rolls his eyes good-naturedly.

"Wait, so your bad knees," Harry says slowly. "Does that mean you can't kneel?"

"Harry!" Zayn groans loudly while Niall barks out a laugh that has him bending over and wiping at his eyes. Liam just shakes his head and Zayn catches his smile as he stares out of the window.

"I'm not saying it's a deal-breaker but you know, it's good to know in advance," Harry says seriously.

"Please just stop talking," Zayn pleads. Niall's still laughing and Harry's starting to look petulant so Zayn tries his best pout that he absolutely didn't practice for months and months when he turned 15 and wanted Rebecca Ferguson in the year above him at school to notice him. His relationship with Rebecca had lasted six weeks, but the pout stayed.

And it apparently still works because Harry lets the subject drop.

"Two days," Liam murmurs into the silence that falls over the taxi.

"Should probably at least pretend to do some push ups and sit ups I guess," Niall grumbles. "Payno here and Bressie are gonna put the rest of us to shame."

"Course we're not," Liam says loyally. "I'm sure Zayn's gonna make all of us look great. He's really good."

Zayn lifts an eyebrow at him from where he's currently slumped against the car window.

"I uh, not that I really know much about photography," Liam says with a self-deprecating smile. "But I liked the stuff Louis showed me."

"And that's not even my finest work." Zayn's not too modest to point that out, drunk as he is.

"See, Niall?" Liam says brightly. He's rubbing his own head though as if the alcohol is finally rebelling and Zayn sympathises because the car journey is starting to make him feel a bit ill too. "Zayn's gonna make us all look like models."

"Your faces are gonna make you look like models," Harry says. He's got his hand up Niall's shirt and Zayn's too tired and drunk to tell him to cut it out. Niall's not exactly stopping him either. "And while I haven't seen you naked. Yet," Harry grins as he emphasises it, "I’m pretty fucking sure that you're all blessed physically too."

Niall squeaks and Harry withdraws his hand while Niall rubs his left nipple, cursing under his breath.

"Don't bruise the models, mate," Zayn mutters.

"Sorry Zayn," Harry says unrepentantly. "Just checking the merchandise."

Zayn groans as the taxi pulls up outside his house. He reaches into his back pocket for his wallet and with a quick glance at the meter, he draws out a tenner and hands it to Liam who tries to push it back into Zayn's hands but he's having none of it. "We agreed to share," he protests, which has Liam sighing and tucking the money into his pocket.

"Are you alright getting him into the house?" Liam asks, because Liam is quite wonderful and Zayn's crush is rapidly descending into something _more_.

"Yeah, we'll be fine mate," Zayn says gruffly, climbing out of the taxi and helping Harry out. They end up standing on the curb with their arms draped around each other and Zayn's not quite sure who is holding whom up but they've struck a balance that's kept them both upright so he's not going to question it. Liam slides across the seat and grabs the door handle but he keeps the door open.

"I'll see you on Tuesday then," he says, clearly meaning both of them but Zayn's aware that Liam's looking straight at him. "At 10?"

"We'll be there," Zayn assures him. "Thanks for tonight, we had fun didn't we Harry?"

"Not as much fun as I'd have liked," Harry mutters low enough that only Zayn hears him. Zayn’s tempted to kick him but he's afraid they'll both go down if he does and he'd really like to not do that.

"Thanks for the invite, Niall," Zayn says, leaning down slightly to peer into the taxi but Niall's curled up on the backseat, snoring gently. Zayn muffles a snort of laughter.

"I'll pass the message on when he's awake," Liam whispers inanely.

"Well, we'd better let you go as the meter's running," Zayn says, only slightly reluctantly. He lifts his hand as Liam pulls the door shut quietly and the two of them wave as the taxi pulls away, leaving them behind.

Zayn tugs on Harry and they move together, stumbling up the drive and towards the front door where Zayn has to prop Harry against the wall so he can dig around for his keys.

"Are you still gonna pretend you don't have a major crush on Fireman Liam?" Harry's watching as Zayn misses the lock twice with his key before he finally manages to slot it home. "You were flirting with him all night."

"Was not," Zayn lies. It definitely wasn't _all_ night. Maybe towards the end after those last few Jack Daniels and cokes. He helps Harry inside and they head slowly towards the kitchen. Zayn pours two glasses of water and fumbles around for some Nurofen which they quickly swallow down in unison.

"You were," Harry accuses, pointing at Zayn with his now-empty glass.

Zayn refills his glass and because he's not a dick, and he really doesn't want to wake up to Harry with a hangover, he refills Harry's glass too. "Do you want me to bring up how many times you tried to persuade Niall to go home with you? To _snuggle_?"

"Shut up," Harry mutters, following Zayn as they trudge upstairs. "He just wants to take it slow."

"Uh huh." Zayn's not entirely sure that Harry and Niall have even had that conversation yet but he's too drunk to care and he just wants to climb into bed and maybe dream about Liam's biceps a bit. "If I'm not up in the morning, help yourself to whatever and don't slam the door on your way out."

"I know the rules Zayn," Harry reminds him. He leans in to give Zayn a sloppy kiss on the cheek before he disappears into the guest bedroom that really is just Harry's room at this point because no one else ever stays round except for his family on the very odd occasion that they visit.

Zayn crawls into his bed after brushing his teeth and grabs the spare pillow to hug it to his body. And when he closes his eyes, he remembers the flushed, happy look on Liam's face when Zayn curled up next to him in the bar and he falls asleep easily, the pillow hugged tightly to his chest.

*

Zayn wakes up to a horrendous hangover and Tiger staring up at him.

"Go'way," Zayn mumbles, turning his head away and burying it into his pillow.

Tiger starts mewling loudly and Zayn's tempted to throw a pillow at him. But he doesn't, pulling himself up into a sitting position instead and rubbing at his painfully dry eyes. "I'm giving you up for adoption," he mutters when he finally opens his eyes to find Tiger grinning at him.

Goddamn cat.

"Can't you go annoy Harry instead?" Zayn whines but a glance at his alarm clock shows it's past noon and Harry's probably long gone. Sighing, he reaches for his phone and brings up his messages.

Two from Harry that suggest Harry's going to die and Zayn should probably check that he's alright. One from Liam.

_**hiiii zayn! hows ur headddd? mines sooooo painful!!! :D** _

Zayn squints a little to read the message but even with a throbbing head and a terrible, terrible taste in his mouth, he can still find Liam's style of texting absolutely charming.

_**mine too mate. gonna lie on my sofa all day and order a dominos aha :)** _

When he realises that he's still staring at his phone five minutes later waiting for Liam to text him back, Zayn throws his phone back on the table and crawls out of bed. Tiger throws him an unimpressed look before the cat strolls out of the bedroom and Zayn regrets ever falling for the damn cat in the shelter two years ago. He clearly has terrible taste in pets.

Brushing his teeth makes him feel much better although he makes the mistake of looking in the bathroom mirror to find his hair sticking up in odd tufts, his eyes bloodshot and weary and his skin reflecting an unhealthy-looking pallor.

He spends longer than usual in the shower letting the hot spray wash away his hangover until it's dulled down to a mild ache. Zayn pulls on a pair of soft joggers and an old t-shirt that might have been his sisters once upon a time before he heads downstairs, his phone in his pocket although he hasn't checked it for messages since he got out of the shower on principle. Since his appetite kicked in somewhere around the time his headache started receding, Zayn swings by local corner shop so he can make a disgustingly unhealthy, fatty toasted sandwich with ketchup spurting out over his fingers when he takes a bite. And when he's finished, he potters around the kitchen, washing up frying pans and plates and glasses, all too aware of the heavy weight of his phone in his pocket.

Zayn eventually checks his phone when he's settled in front of the telly, sketchbook balanced on the cushion next to him and Tiger, well fed and sleepy, curled up on the armchair.

_**ahhh i'd love a dominos!! hope ur all cozzzzy on your sofa :D x** _

Zayn has to read the text five times to figure out if Liam's flirting with him or whether it's wishful thinking. It sounds like he might be though.

_**my sofa is amazing aha! hope you're feeling better? x** _

They end up texting most of the day, although Zayn makes sure to leave a gap between texts because he doesn't want Liam to think he's just sitting around waiting for Liam's texts. Which he is. He just doesn't want Liam to know that.

He texts Harry too, just to make sure he's still alive, and he orders a dominos around five o'clock which he wolfs down far too quickly.

Before he heads to bed, he checks his equipment and sets it out for the morning. Tiger follows him upstairs, rubbing against his ankle as he brushes his teeth and washes his face. "What do you think, Tiger? Do I need to shave?" Zayn rubs his jaw and studies his reflection.

Tiger purrs happily and Zayn bends down to pick him up. "No, you're right. I'm too lazy."

Zayn carries him to bed and lets him curl up on the covers. It's not something he generally encourages, mostly because Tiger sheds fur everywhere and he's got a habit of clawing through bedcovers. But he wants the company tonight and when he sends a text to Liam wishing him goodnight, he cuddles Tiger to his bare chest, relaxing when Tiger doesn't protest and just winds himself around Zayn until he's comfortable.

Zayn falls asleep easily, his hand buried in Tiger's fur.

*

Zayn's yawning as he climbs out of Harry's car. He catches Liam and Louis coming out of the station to meet them and he idly wonders if they've been watching out for their arrival. Or freaking out about their arrival, in Liam's case.

"You wanna start setting up in front of the fire engine?" Zayn says as they start unloading the car. The two fire engines are parked already with plenty of space for them to shoot around the second truck. Harry nods sleepily and heads off towards the red vehicle, stumbling along the way but managing to stay upright by some miracle of magic.

Zayn turns towards Liam and Louis, surprised to see that they both look nervous. Liam he was expecting it, but Louis is a bit of a surprise. "Hey guys," he says as cheerfully as he can manage when he's caffeine-deprived and trying not to think about how he gets to see Liam shirtless today. "All set?"

"Yeah," Liam says with a complete lack of enthusiasm that has Zayn frowning. "We've got the seven guys who aren't on shift yet and at two o'clock, the other four will be off shift. I'm not on until tonight so I can stick around and help, or whatever. If you need me to."

"That sounds great, thanks Liam," Zayn says. He reaches out and squeezes Liam's hand carefully, pleased when Liam squeezes back, even if it is a little painful. "You can round everyone up; that'll be really helpful."

Liam beams at him and Zayn can't help but grin back. "So where's Niall then? Harry's been missing him."

"Working." Louis flops down onto the grass and closes his eyes as he tilts his face to the warm September sun. "He'll be here at two when his shift ends to harass young Harold."

"Lou's been here for almost an hour," Liam tells Zayn. "She's amazing. Half the guys were laughing when she turned up and threatened to do their hair and makeup and now she's got them trailing after her, asking for tips on their hair and making her endless cups of tea."

"Glad to hear it," Zayn says, grinning. He'd called in a favour and Lou had luckily been available on short notice and had agreed to waive her fee for charity. "She's got a magic touch."

Harry appears, still looking tired as he fiddles with his hair and ties it up in a bun. "Zayn?"

"Yeah I'm coming." Zayn pats Harry's hand and turns to the car, reaching inside for the lights.

"You want any help?" Liam asks, peering in next to him. He looks adorably overwhelmed by all the wires and equipment they've got to install.

Zayn straightens up and offers Liam a squinty smile against the brightness of the sun. "Nah, you're alright. We'll be faster setting it up ourselves. Is there somewhere we can plug everything in?"

Liam shows them where they can run the extension cables to before he disappears into the station after one last offer of help that Zayn waves away. Then he and Harry get down to business, setting up the lighting and cameras and taking test shots. After about half an hour, Zayn's finally happy with the set up and he takes one last shot of Harry to make sure the lighting is right before he turns to find two mugs of steaming coffee being held out to him.

"You are my favourite," Zayn says with an appreciative groan as he grabs at one of the mugs and brings it to his lips to sip. It's still too hot to drink properly but the smell of the rich, dark liquid is enough to have Zayn sighing in pleasure.

Liam hands the other mug to Harry who takes it with a beaming smile of gratitude.

"Think we're nearly set," Zayn says between sips of coffee. It's surprisingly good and it's waking him up nicely for the first round of shots.

Liam's eyes trail over the set up and there's a small frown marring his expression. "It looks complicated," he notes. He's not carrying a drink for himself and Zayn wonders if that's because Liam doesn't drink or because he's just looking after them. Liam's dressed casually in his navy slacks and t-shirt but his hair looks more styled than Zayn's seen it before; even more so than when they'd gone to the bar. Liam must catch him staring because he pats his head self-consciously. "Uh, Lou did my hair this morning. She said I needed to use more wax."

"It looks nice," Harry tells him solemnly. And it does. It's just not exactly the look Zayn's going for with Liam, but he can deal with that later.

"So do you want to do the first one then?" Liam says, shifting a little like he's squaring his shoulders. "I can do it if you want?"

Zayn's hand drops onto Liam's shoulder and Zayn leans into him slightly while Harry grins knowingly at him. Zayn ignores him, turning to face Liam instead. "Actually, I thought we'd start with Louis and get him out of the way first."

"Oh," Liam says like he's a bit disappointed. But Zayn doesn't want to put Liam on the spot because he's pretty sure everyone's going to come out to watch the first couple of sets before people get bored and wander off. He's got other plans for Liam to help him relax enough for Zayn to get the picture he wants, so he squeezes Liam's shoulder in comfort and pushes himself away towards the camera resting on its tripod.

Before he settles in though, he glances over his shoulder to where Liam's stood, his arms folded across his middle and hugging his waist. He looks small, Zayn realises in surprise. "Hey, Liam?" he calls softly. Liam looks up, his hands falling to his sides as his expression shifts into a shy smile. "Could you get Bressie? We'll do him after Louis."

Liam gives him a firm, solid nod and Zayn turns back to the camera, positioning it where he thinks Louis will be.

Harry's leaning against the other fire engine when Zayn turns to him and cocks an eyebrow. "You wanna do the first one?"

Harry's face freezes comically before his eyes widen and he's stepping forward towards Zayn eagerly. "Yeah? You never let me start."

"Reckon you've probably earned it," Zayn says, tugging Harry all the way in and giving him a quick cuddle. He can feel Harry vibrating in his arms and he's not sure whether it's fear or excitement but either way, he rubs his hands up and down Harry's arms comfortingly. "Just make sure you get him to relax as quickly as possible. So you know the shot, yeah?"

Harry nods solemnly. They both turn as Louis approaches them, Liam and Bressie trailing behind. And Zayn's not surprised to see about a dozen others spilling out of the station after them.

"Remember, make sure he relaxes," Zayn murmurs quietly before he steps back and folds his arms across his chest, his gaze easy as it rests on Harry and Louis, who share a joke as Liam comes to stand next to him.

"Everything alright?" Liam asks as he shoves his hands in his pockets and they watch the two men chatting in front of them.

"Yeah, Harry's going to do Louis' shot," Zayn tells him. He casts his eyes over the slowly growing crowd but he just hums under his breath and turns back to Harry and Louis.

"You're going to be in front of the engine," Harry's telling Louis, slowly guiding him into place. Louis doesn't even seem to realise he's being herded because he's yelling something to one of the guys in the crowd and grinning too wide when they yell back. "We're just going simple with this one, so hands in your pockets and staring down the camera lens. I'll talk you through it so just pay attention and try to follow my direction, okay?"

"Sure," Louis says, not paying attention at all because he's pulling a face at someone else now.

"Shirt off then," Harry says, reaching for the hem of Louis' shirt and jerking back when Louis bats his hands away with a squawk.

"Hey, hands off!" Louis protests. He's gone a bit pale and his gaze shifts towards the crowd as Louis' hands curl around his own shirt. He makes no move to strip though and Zayn swears under his breath.

"He's just nervous but he won't admit it," Liam says anxiously. Zayn's aware that Liam's hands are twisted together and he's bouncing on his heels. But he's staring at Louis and Zayn realises that Liam's nervous _for_ Louis.

"It's alright," Zayn says soothingly. He covers Liam's hands with his own, letting his thumb stroke gently across the roughened skin. "Harry will calm him down. Just watch."

Harry manages to talk Louis into getting his shirt off and it's met with catcalls and jeers from the crowd. Louis flips them off but from here Zayn can see his hand is trembling. Not that there's any need for Louis to be nervous because he's got a great physique. Lean and compact and bronzed. But he's still trembling and Zayn's thinking quickly to find a solution.

Harry gets Louis into position and starts snapping away, calling out instructions that Louis follows woodenly.

"Harry!" Zayn calls when it hits him. Harry doesn't move away from Louis, half-sheltering him from the crowd but he looks over his shoulder. "Reckon it's unfair for Louis here to be the only one shirtless, don't you mate?"

It takes Harry a second but his eyes sharpen and his lips curve up into a slow smile. Then he's turning back to a confused-looking Louis, his hands reaching over his shoulders to grip his shirt material and tugging it over his head until he's standing half-naked and grinning inanely at a dumbfounded Louis.

"Wha-" Louis stammers before he bursts into laughter.

Harry snaps a quick picture, grinning when he looks up and Zayn knows they have it. Harry snaps picture after picture, calling out encouragement when Louis does something right. Louis laughs through the whole shoot and eventually relaxes enough to rest back against the fire engine, the sunlight framing his face beautifully to give Harry a stunning shot.

"That's the one," Zayn murmurs, half to himself. When Liam looks confused, Zayn nods his head towards Harry and Louis. "That's the one we'll use."

Liam doesn't look any less confused. "You can tell? Like, even though you didn't take the picture?"

"Yeah." Zayn looks at Harry, who's goofing off and taking pictures of Louis while Louis pulls stupid faces. "Harry's good. Better than me, most of the time. He got the shot. Otherwise he'd still be looking for it."

"But he was laughing." It's more of a question than a statement. "Don't you want him to be more, uh, frowny? And moody?"

Zayn stares at Liam unblinkingly before he starts laughing. "Frowny? No, Liam, that's not what we're after."

"Oh," Liam says, sounding a little small and unsure. Zayn throws his arm around Liam's shoulders, humming contentedly when Liam presses against him. "I thought that's what models do."

"They pout sometimes," Zayn allows. "So I guess they look a little frowny." Liam nudges his leg against Zayn’s thigh and Zayn laughs. "But pouting isn't the only sexy pose. Laughing can be sexy, right? When you make someone laugh and their eyes close and their lips part and there's a vulnerability in that pose, that can be really sexy, you know?"

Liam visibly swallows and licks his own lips. Zayn's pretty sure it's subconscious but it draws his gaze all the same.

"We'll probably end up with a mix for the calendar. Just whatever works for each guy, you know?" Zayn's not sure that his attempt at being reassuring is helping at all but Liam looks thoughtful, which is definitely an improvement on 'terrified' so Zayn will take it.

Harry bounds up to them, his cheeks flushed with excitement as he waves the camera around. "I got it, Zayn, I got the shot."

"I saw." Zayn grins as Harry rolls his eyes at Zayn's lack of enthusiastic response. "Bressie's up next. My turn?"

Zayn takes the camera Harry offers him and he clicks through the stream of Louis pulling faces until he reaches the shot. It's perfect, just like he thought it would be. Harry's caught the emotion perfectly and Louis' laugh pulls him into the shot. "It's good, Harry. Really, really good."

"Thanks," Harry says gruffly before he turns and ushers Bressie over towards the engine. Harry hands him the hose, to Bressie's amusement and shows him how to stand.

"You know we'd never stand like this, right?" Bressie says in his slow Irish brogue. "This is ridiculous."

Zayn lifts the camera and stares down the lens. "The camera strongly disagrees," he mutters. "Shirt off please."

Bressie shucks out of his shirt and Zayn allows himself a few moments to simply admire the view before he gets down to business.

Five minutes later, he's got his shot and he's learned that Bressie is the master of pouting. The lad looks like everyone's wet dream and Zayn knows this calendar is going to be a success. And he hasn't even photographed Liam yet.

A steady stream of firefighters appear, ready to be photographed. Some of them are terrified and some of them aren't. They're all very nice though and allow themselves to be put in whatever pose Zayn and Harry direct them into. Ashton, as it turns out, is the perfect choice for the fireman's pole shot. Zayn has to remind Harry to close his mouth because he's drooling when Ashton's biceps flex as he holds himself away from the pole and mugs happily for the camera.

They're about done with six of the models by the time Niall appears, along with three other guys who've just gotten off duty. There's a five minute window to get the group shot so Harry barely spares Niall a harried smile before he's shoving Louis up the ladder and pushing Bressie into the driving seat. The rest of the guys are draped around the engine and Zayn sends a nervous-looking Liam a wink. It seems to relax him a little and he leans into Niall, who Harry's deliberately positioned next to him. Both him and Harry are taking pictures in the hopes that they'll get the shot quicker between them and Zayn's camera picks up Niall whispering to Liam and making Liam laugh.

"Got it," Harry mutters next to him.

It's an unconscious move then to twist his zoom lens until it's focused on Liam and he takes a series of quick shots that capture Liam laughing into Niall's shoulder. He doesn't question why he takes them or what he's going to do with them since they're so close-up that they're unusable for the calendar but he lowers his camera and takes out the camera card to tuck it safely away in its case.

Most of the guys come up to Zayn to say thanks and by the time the crowd around him disperses so they can start their shifts, there's only a handful or so people left .

Harry's arm slides across his lower back and propels Zayn towards the grassy area. "Lunchtime," he declares firmly. "Sit." Harry's hand pushes down on Zayn's shoulder until he's forced to drop to the ground. Sighing, Zayn stretches his legs out and tips his head back. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply.

"Relaxed?"

Zayn opens an eye to find Liam standing in front of him holding two plates full of food. "Please tell me one of those is for me," he pleads and holds out his hands.

Liam drops one of the plates into Zayn's waiting hands and he joins Zayn on the ground, folding his legs easily underneath him and balancing his plate on his knee.

"This is amazing," Zayn says as he pokes at the sandwiches on the plate. "Can't remember the last time I had a cheese and pickle sandwich."

"We can swap if you like, I didn't know what you'd like." Liam lifts up his plate for Zayn to examine. "I don't mind."

"Stop trying to steal my cheese and pickle masterpiece," Zayn says with a frown, covering his plate with his arm. "And stop trying to fob your ham and tomato off on me."

It's fun to watch Liam's expression change from confusion to sunshine so quickly. "Hey, my ham and tomato is the best."

Zayn scoffs lightly, taking a bite of his sandwich and groaning at how good it tastes. "Mate, did you make this? It's amazing."

"You're just hungry," Liam counters and he throws a crisp at Zayn, who catches it in his mouth to Liam's delight. "And it's just a sandwich. Anyone can make a sandwich."

"Not true," Zayn argues around another mouthful. "Harry can't make a decent sandwich for shit."

"Heyyy! I can!" Harry looks mortally offended from where he's leaning against his car, next to Niall who's got more than twice the food on his plate that Harry has.

"No, Harry, you really can't," Zayn tells him. "You can cook, but you can't make a good sandwich. You remember that ham sandwich you made? You put paprika on the side!"

Harry throws his hands up. "It was a garnish!"

"It wasn't," Zayn mumbles to Liam. "It was awful."

Sitting in the sunshine while they listen to Harry explaining to Niall, in great detail, why he's great at cooking and which dishes are his signature ones is so relaxing that Zayn flops back against the grass and yawns widely. He folds his arms behind his head and stares up at the cloudless blue sky, pleased when he feels Liam lying down next to him. It's ridiculously tempting to just roll over and place his head on Liam's shoulder and maybe trail his hand down Liam's flat belly.

He doesn't.

"This is nice," Liam murmurs next to him. "Relaxing."

"Hmm," Zayn agrees sleepily. "You think those two will have a cook off that ends up with them eating dessert off each other's bodies?"

There's a startled silence and Zayn rolls his head to the side to see Liam wincing. "That's a mental picture I didn't need. Thanks mate."

"No worries," Zayn tells him cheerfully. He gives Liam a considering look before he pats Liam's hand where it's resting between them on the grass. "Hey, so I was thinking that if you wanted to, I could do your shoot later. When everyone's left. If you wanted to, you know, do it alone."

Liam's smile fades a little and he tugs his hand free. "No, no I should be part of the team and do it like everyone else. I don't want special treatment, Zayn. That's not. I'm not-. I mean, thanks for the offer but I can't."

Zayn rolls back to stare up at the clear sky again. "No, yeah I get it. No worries, yeah? But the offer's still there if you want it."

He tries to relax again but he's too tense and worked up. He feels like he wants to burn off some energy, which isn't usually his style. But he feels all tight and stiff and he's up on his feet before he realises what he's doing.

"Gonna stretch my legs," he says to Liam, who looks unsure. But Zayn's off before Liam can say anything. He does an entire circuit around the fire station before he starts a second and he finds Niall suddenly strolling next to him, his hands in his pockets as they walk.

"Alright?" Niall asks when they're around the back of the building.

Zayn shrugs. He doesn't always feel like talking and as much as he likes Niall, he just needs to work off his mood silently.

"Sometimes Liam's a bit-." Niall pauses and when Zayn glances at him, Niall grimaces. "I don't know. He's kinda like a puppy with a ball where he's really excited and wagging his tail and he's literally bouncing around because he doesn't know how to contain his enthusiasm. But he also won't drop the ball for you to throw for him because it's his ball and he wants to keep it and not lose it."

Zayn huffs out a quiet laugh. "Yeah." He can feel the weight of Niall's stare on him but he doesn't look up and Niall doesn't say anything more.

They circle the last corner and Zayn heads for his cameras while Niall moves towards Harry who's moving all the equipment to the grassy area so they can be as unobtrusive as possible. Niall and Liam talk quietly while Zayn and Harry set everything up again, checking lighting levels and shading.

The rest of the shoot goes smoothly. Harry even manages to behave himself when it's Niall's turn. Zayn's got him in position, shirtless and carrying an axe between his hands and even Zayn's a bit distracted by how large Niall's hands are as they're wrapped around the axe handle and head.

"You alright taking this one?" Zayn says to Harry, who might be drooling a little bit but he nods and lifts the camera.

Zayn moves back and makes his way over to Liam. He's got his camera in hand and he doesn't say a word as they watch Harry shifting around until he finds a position he likes, crouched down so that Niall fills the shot.

In the hushed silence, Liam leans slightly into him. "Hey," he says softly. "Is that uh, offer still open?"

"Yeah," Zayn says a bit hoarsely before he clears his throat. He waits to catch Harry's attention when Harry pauses to stand up and stretch out his legs and Zayn jerks his head towards the station, holding his camera up slightly. He’s grateful when Harry seems to get it.

Ushering Liam forward before he can changes his mind, Zayn guides him around the side of the building. He stops when they're out of sight from everyone and Liam pauses next to him. Zayn narrows his gaze and tilts his head, considering the light and his limited equipment. "Here," he says decisively. "Alright, Fireman Liam, get your shirt off."

"I'm having flashbacks to my last date," Liam mutters as he reaches for the hem of his shirt. "Except he wasn't as cute or nice, in the end."

Zayn does his best not to flush and he shoves the jealous ache away. "His loss," Zayn says quietly as he turns away from where Liam's stripping his shirt off so he can focus the camera. He takes a few test shots to gauge the lighting before he lowers the camera and then he freezes because Liam's _shirtless_. Liam's shirtless. Liam's bare chest is right there in front of him, almost within touching distance and Zayn's forgotten to breathe. Rationally speaking, he knew Liam's shoulders were broad because he's leant against them and he's sat next to Liam and felt their shoulders brush against each other. But it's different seeing them up close and personal. Especially when Zayn's gaze travels helplessly down over Liam's golden skin, raking over his chest and down to where his body tapers to a flat, ripped stomach. And to make things worse, Liam's trousers are slung low on his hips and Zayn's mouth actually waters.

He's seen men shirtless before. He's seen a lot of men shirtless before. He's photographed shirtless, almost naked men before. And he's never reacted to them the way he's reacting to Liam.

"And you've been nervous about this?" Zayn manages to tease huskily, making Liam flush beautifully. "Okay, let's get you positioned, yeah?"

Zayn moves slowly, lifting his hands up to Liam's shoulders and pushing him back gently until he's leaning up against the wall. He uses his boot to nudge Liam's legs apart before he steps back and eyes Liam with creative detachment. "Head down," he orders softly. Liam's head immediately drops and Zayn sucks in a sharp breath at the submissive pose Liam's presenting to him. Zayn steps into Liam's space and trails his finger under Liam's jaw, lifting it slightly until Liam's eyelashes flutter up and Liam's looking at him.

"Yeah." It comes out hoarse and Zayn steps back quickly. He lifts his camera up and stares down the lens while Liam keeps his gaze steadily on Zayn's face. Zayn's breath hitches slightly as he takes the first picture. The noise of the shutter makes Liam jerk slightly but he settles back down and his shoulders loosen a little.

"You're doing great, babe," Zayn says, the endearment slipping out before he can stop it. Liam's cheeks pinken slightly and Zayn lets the camera capture every angle. Zayn moves slowly and lets the camera lead him. He captures the concave shadows of Liam's muscular chest and he catches the sharp line of Liam's jaw. There's an intoxicating mix of innocence and sex that Liam's exuding and Zayn's finding himself drawn in like a moth to Liam's flame. The fear of getting burned isn't even enough to keep him away.

"Zayn?"

Zayn blinks and he realises that he's standing no more than half a foot away from Liam, camera still in his hands but he's immobile. He doesn't know when he stopped taking pictures to creepily leer at Liam through the lens but he can feel his cheeks heating.

"Sorry," he mutters as he steps back and turns the camera off. "You did great, Liam. You're going to be a very popular month."

Liam's shrugging back into his shirt and his laughter is muffled before his head appears. "Nah. No chance mate. Have you seen Niall and the others?"

But Zayn knows his craft and he knows he's caught something special with Liam. "Alright. Come on then, let's go rescue Niall from Harry's clutches."

"If he wants to be rescued," Liam says and Zayn has to concede the point, especially when they turn the corner to find Harry pressed back against his car, flushed and wild-haired as Niall appears to be whispering in his ear.

Not that there's anyone around to hear them, but Zayn suspects they've chased everyone away with their complete lack of restraint.

Harry spots them first but he makes no move to escape or push Niall back. Zayn suspects Harry's too pleased at having Niall where he wants him to risk pushing him away. He's half-surprised that Harry hasn't just wrapped his legs around Niall's waist to cling to him possessively like a baby monkey.

"Sorry to interrupt," Zayn says without any remorse whatsoever. "But I think we're all done."

While Zayn's been silently drooling over Liam, Harry's been busy packing everything up. Amongst other things.

"You two got your shot then?" Harry asks, pouting when Niall finally pushes away from him to stroll over to Liam. The two of them fall into each other with an ease that Zayn envies.

"Bet Payno was a natural, right Zayn?" Niall nudges Liam with his elbow and makes Liam yelp. "The camera never lies and all that."

"No it doesn't," Zayn agrees. He can't bring himself to look at Liam because he knows he'll start blushing again and while Liam might not have picked up on his stupid crush yet, Harry has and Niall's got sharp eyes. "Liam did great."

"Knew it," Niall crows. "He pretends to be a shy little wallflower but our Liam's a bit of an exhibitionist at heart, right mate?"

"Christ, Niall!" Liam slaps his hand over Niall's mouth and pulls a pained expression.

Harry's openly laughing and Zayn's fighting his own smile.

"I'm not, I swear," Liam says quickly. He makes a pained sound, his hand jerking away from Niall who looks remarkably smug as he licks his lips.

"There's nothing wrong with being an exhibitionist Liam," Harry tells him solemnly. "We’ve all got our kinks. I mean, I like being restrained."

"Oh my god." Liam groans into his hands.

"You know, with handcuffs or scarves or whatever's around, really," Harry continues cheerfully. He sends an exaggerated wink to Niall, who looks fascinated.

Zayn claps his hand on Liam's shoulder and squeezes in commiseration. "Harry likes to share. He has no filter whatsoever. C'mon Harry, let's leave the nice firemen alone and stop scarring them for life."

"I'm not scarred," Niall says with a shrug.

"Well I am," Liam insists. He does look a bit pale so Zayn starts ushering Harry towards the driver side of the car.

"Say goodbye, Harry."

"Bye Liam," Harry calls over his shoulder. "Don't forget, there's nothing wrong with being an exhibitionist. Embrace it!"

"Sorry about him," Zayn adds as he opens the car door and all but shoves Harry inside. He walks back around the car and offers his hand to Niall and then Liam. "Thanks for making this run so smoothly, lads."

"It’s no problem, Zayn," Liam says. He's curling back into Niall's side and Zayn's not entirely sure that Liam's aware that he's doing it. "Thanks for doing the shoot."

"Yes, we're all awesome," Niall says with a roll of his eyes. "C'mon, Liam. You've got a shift to start and I've got a date to get ready for."

"A date?" Zayn starts to frown and he's about to get really defensive when Niall's glance flicks towards the car where Harry's waiting not so patiently and oh. "Oh god. He's not going to shut up on the way home."

Niall smiles smugly. "Yeah? Cool."

"Yeah, cool," Zayn repeats dryly. "Well, I'll see you later."

He turns to climb into the car and winds down the window. He's aching for a cigarette but he gave up two months ago and he's pretty sure Harry would wrestle him to the ground and sit on him if he even tried to light up.

Zayn waves as Harry throws the car into reverse. Then they're pulling into the road and Liam slowly fades from view in his wing mirror.

"So you're going out with Niall tonight then." Zayn's hand closes around his phone in his pocket but he resists the urge to pull it out, holding it loosely instead.

"I'm cooking for him," Harry says proudly before he dives into a long, rambling one-sided conversation around what he's going to make and what Niall might like. Zayn listens mostly in silence, throwing in the odd noise of agreement and a few nods but he's mostly distracted by thoughts of Liam.

"So what do you think?" Harry asks finally when they're parked on Zayn's drive and they start ferrying in all the equipment to Zayn's studio. "Lasagne or chilli?"

"I'm sure Niall likes both." Zayn puts the last bit of equipment down and covers his mouth as he yawns. "I'm also pretty sure that Niall's not coming over for your cooking."

Harry beams and barely protests as Zayn unsubtly steers him towards the front door.

"Have a good night, yeah?" Zayn says as they reach the door and Harry steps outside. Zayn leans against the door frame and reaches out to run his fingers through Harry's hair, pushing a few stray strands back from Harry's face. "I'll probably make a start on those proofs tomorrow so just you know, enjoy your day off." It's a blessing of sorts because he knows Harry likes to have Zayn's approval. Niall has it in spades.

"Thanks boss." Harry leans in to give Zayn a quick hug before he's racing off to his car and peeling out of the drive to get ready for his date.

Zayn closes the front door and leans back against it. It's so quiet he can hear his own heartbeat, steady and surprisingly loud. Usually after a busy day Zayn can't wait to get home and spend some time winding down but he's got a thrumming energy under his skin that he needs to burn off before he can relax.

Zayn changes his clothes and goes for a run.

He can count on one hand the number of times he's been running this year and still have spare fingers left over. But he runs until his lungs are burning and his legs feel a bit wobbly. On the way back home, he stops at a corner shop to buy water and a Mars bar. He's tempted by the cigarettes he knows are hidden away behind the counter but he counts out his change for the water and chocolate and forces his weary legs to carry him out of the shop and he jogs back home slowly. Since the chocolate's taken the edge off his appetite, Zayn's tired enough to just shower and collapse in front of the telly. Tiger appears halfway through Corrie and whines until Zayn gets up to feed him.

The itch under his skin is still there when he climbs into bed, exhausted and yet wired.

He can't stop thinking about Liam.

Zayn's hand moves slowly to cover his dick where he's half-hard and he presses down with the heel of his hand, letting out a groan as he feels the pressure. He hasn't done this for a few days, which probably explains the weird energy he can't seem to shake. So he slides his hand into his pyjama bottoms and cups himself, giving a gentle squeeze and breathing out slowly. He gives himself a little stroke, feeling his dick fatten in his hand.

Zayn shuffles down the bed a little to get more comfortable, planting his feet on the mattress and spreading his legs wide. He shoves his pyjama pants down over his hips and grunts when his dick slaps up against his belly, now fully hard and aching in the best way. Zayn strokes himself again, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander.

It doesn't take five seconds for his mind to wander to Liam. He feels a bit guilty thinking about Liam while he's stroking his hard dick but then he starts thinking about Liam's mouth and how obscenely plump Liam's bottom lips looks and he forgets to feel guilty. He remembers Liam biting down on that lip, worrying it with his teeth until it was slick and red. His thumbnail ghosts along the underside of his dick and he lets out a sharp gasp at how great it feels.

He pictures Liam on his knees with his beautiful mouth wrapped around his dick, wet and sloppy and hungry. He imagines Liam's hand jerking his dick into his own mouth and Zayn's entire body is on fire with the picture it makes. He thinks about Liam's eyes, wide and desperate as he sucks Zayn's dick and the moan that escapes his lips is low and filthy. Zayn's panting as he strokes himself harder. His other hand stirs from where it's been resting low on his hip to reach down and cup his balls, squeezing gently as he rocks his hips up, jerking up into his own hand.

The image changes, blurring into Liam pressing Zayn up against the wall, pinning him in place with his strength. Zayn imagines running his hands down Liam's arms as he thumbs over his tip before his hand slides down his shaft, his grip tightening around the base. There's an urgency to his movements now and he thrusts helplessly into his own hand, wishing it were Liam's. Liam with his rough, workman's hands. Liam's laughing eyes urging Zayn on. Liam with his firm, muscular body that would cover Zayn's until he's surrounded by Liam.

His body is covered with a thin film of sweat and he's trembling as he feels his orgasm build from deep inside. "Fuck," he bites out softly as his dick throbs painfully in his hand. One more jerk and he's coming, Liam's name escaping his lips on a sharp whimper as hot white come coats his hand and spurts onto his belly.

Zayn's breathing heavily, one hand on his softening dick and the other tracing a circle around his painted belly. He waits for his heart to stop racing before he gets up, wincing at the mess he's made and padding over to the bathroom. He cleans himself up and runs his fingers through his hair as he stares at his reflection in the mirror. There's definitely some kind of line he's crossed tonight and he's starting to think that Harry has a very good point about his level of obsession with Liam if he's getting off to Liam's _eyes_.

When he climbs back into bed and sprawls out lazily, he closes his eyes and definitely does not think about Liam.

*

After a restless night, Zayn finds himself in his kitchen making coffee at eight in the morning. Tiger's staring up at him clearly wondering what's happened to his human because Zayn doesn't do early. And Tiger keeps staring at him all through breakfast.

Grouchy at being judged so early in the morning, Zayn carries his half-eaten toast and mug into his studio, very carefully shutting the door behind him so that Tiger and his judgemental stares can stay outside. He takes his time getting settled at his computer and spends five minutes reading emails he's been ignoring for months.

He deletes them all in one go.

There's eight memory cards full of photos from yesterdays shoot and he decides to do them in order of shot. He might lack Harry's precision in Photoshop but he's still pretty good and it's easy enough to work his way through the shots, starting with Louis. It's painfully obvious to see how uncomfortable Louis is in the first few shots so Zayn discards them. He knows which shot he's going to use but he sorts through them all regardless, just in case. But when he sees Louis laughing at Harry just off camera, he knows that's the shot. Harry's caught him perfectly with Louis' lean body taut with laughter. It's a perfect shot.

The morning disappears as Zayn works methodically. He takes a break for lunch and spends half an hour playing with a surprisingly enthusiastic Tiger, sending Harry a text around midday explaining he won't need Harry for the aftershot touch-ups. He gets a response full of crying and sad emojis that he ignores in favour of asking Harry how his date went. Harry's response is a succinct and simple thumbs up so Zayn's pretty sure he'll be getting a blow-by-blow account of exactly who blew who at some point.

Zayn comes across the shots of Liam laughing into Niall's shoulder straight after lunch. Objectively speaking, he knows they're beautiful shots. Liam's face is lit up with pure joy and there's a reflection just over his shoulder of the sun hitting the fire engine that's created beautiful colours and shadowing. Zayn drags them into his own personal folder, away from the rest of the pictures. He doesn't doctor them in Photoshop or edit them, reluctant for some reason to change them in any way. Then he pulls up the next set and gets to work.

All too soon, Liam's photoshoot is staring back at him. There's twice as many photos of Liam than there have been of any other model but Zayn refuses to be embarrassed about it because he had the handicap of a lack of equipment so yeah, he had to take more pictures. He pulls up the first shot and he feels a swoop in his belly. There's Liam, glancing up at camera through his eyelashes and it's even more provocative than Zayn remembers. He leans in unconsciously and studies the hard angle of Liam's jaw and the curve of his cheek. The contrast between sharp and soft, of angular and rounded appeals to Zayn's artistic eye. The sprinkling of facial hair across his jawline draws Zayn's eye before he travels down Liam's toned and tapered torso. Where Bressie is all solid muscle, Liam is more compact. He's lean and toned and the contrast between his softness and his solid core is almost breathtaking.

Zayn leans back in his chair and lets out a breath. He's being ridiculous. Liam's just a lad he's met a few times and he's got a bit of a crush on. He can't be falling for Liam, not when their project is over and he'll probably never see Liam again. It's just a little crush that will fade in time.

He distracts himself by making a cup of tea and sips at it while he sifts through Liam's shots. Then he ignores the fact that he's half-hard and settles down to do his job.

*

Zayn presses send on the email notifying Ed that the pictures are up and ready online for Ed to download on his end for the client. Then he shuts down his computer, stands up and stretches his arms out wide and yawns. He's been bent over the computer all day and now that he's done, he just wants to grab a beer and maybe order a takeaway and crash on the sofa for the rest of the night.

He phones in his order and downs half a Cobra before he checks his messages. There's seven from Harry that Zayn reluctantly reads backwards.

"Fuckin' hell, Harry," Zayn mutters as he reads. He will never understand why Harry feels the need to go into so much detail about his sex life and now he can never unknow what he knows about Niall's dick.

He scrolls down and sees his mum's text about his sister's birthday in two weeks. They both know he's going to forget until the day before but he likes that his mum pretends otherwise. He sends her a quick text to say thanks and he misses her, which has become his standard text to his mum these days, but he knows she appreciates the thought. He's pretty lucky in the parent department.

Liam's name appears next.

_**heyyy zayn! thnx 4 yesterday it was loadsa funn! hope the pictures were okkkk?!** _

Zayn ignores the way his chest aches a little at Liam's text speak. He texts like a teenager rather than a station manager in charge of a testosterone-filled team of men. It makes Zayn wonder what the hell Liam's reports look like.

_**hey, photos were brilliant, my agent loved them. he wanted to know who Mr. September was, think he might have a bit of crush aha x** _

He busies himself with tidying up the house because it's starting to reach levels of mess that even Zayn can't handle. When his dishwasher is full and rumbling away, his washing machine is busy with a load and his washing rack is piled dangerously high with plates and bowls and mugs, he checks his phone again.

_**whos mr sept??? is it louiiiis? :D** _

Zayn stares at his phone in bemusement. He genuinely can't work out if Liam's that unaware of his own looks or whether he's a bit in love with Louis. The second thought has him scowling at his phone.

_**nah, you're Mr. September mate. the pictures were amazing x** _

Liam's reply comes through almost immediately.

_**ahhh ur kidding! of course the pictures were amazinggg u were takin em! ;)** _

Zayn absolutely does not blush when he reads the message. But he does send a response and it becomes a thing. They text on and off for the next few days, to Zayn's surprise. Each time he sends a text he convinces himself that this will be the text Liam stops responding to. But Liam does reply to each and every one. He replies with badly written texts that sometimes Zayn has to read twice before he understands them. And he texts at all times of the day and night depending on his shift. Zayn quickly learns that the see no evil monkey emoji is Liam's favourite to use and he finds himself using it more and more, even when he's texting Harry or one of his sisters.

It's a lazy Wednesday morning when Zayn gets a text from Liam that makes him blink twice before he re-reads it.

_**heyyy i'm off shift later do u fancyyyy getting coffee? x** _

Liam's inviting him for coffee. It's been a while since Zayn's dated but he's pretty sure this is a first date move. He and Perrie went for coffee on their first date. And they've definitely been flirting over text. He hadn't wanted to read too much into it but now Liam's inviting him on a date and with his heart in his throat, Zayn types out a reply.

_**yeh sounds good :) when and where? x** _

He spends the next five minutes freaking out about what he's going to wear and whether he should buy Liam coffee or let Liam buy him coffee or whether he should buy his own damn coffee. God he hates first dates. He turns into a fucking mess, second-guessing his every move, feeling like a teenager again. But he really, really wants to go on a first date with Liam. He wants to feel that rush of wondering whether Liam's going to kiss him or let Zayn kiss him, of reaching for Liam's hand and feeling their fingers tangle together for the first time. He wants to sit and talk to Liam for hours and wonder if they're going to have a second date.

His phone beeps, making him jerk in surprise before he shakes his head at himself. Liam gives him the name of a coffee shop just outside of town and suggests five o’clock, the classic first date time, Zayn thinks excitedly. He grabs Tiger who's been sitting in his lap dozing and stands up, twirling them around as Tiger blinks in surprise.

"I've got a date," Zayn tells him before a laugh bubbles out of him. "Liam's asked me out on a date."

Tiger purrs loudly.

"Shut up, I'm allowed to be a dork about this for five seconds," Zayn tells him.

An actual date with Liam that could lead to more dates and kissing and sex and sleepy mornings staying in bed and late night dinners where Zayn eats real food because he'll be cooking for two.

He puts Tiger down, amused when Tiger heads straight for the cat flap as if he needs to get away from his excited owner. Then he rubs a hand over his face because he's got a date and six hours to slowly go crazy before he gets to see Liam. He needs a distraction.

Zayn grabs his camera, toes on his boots and shoves a beanie on his head and traipses outside to find something to divert his attention for at least the next four hours.

Because he's got a date with Liam and Zayn's hands won't stop trembling.

*

Zayn's finally ready for his date and he's only running a few minutes late. He shoots a quick text to Liam to tell him he's on his way, since he doesn't want Liam to think he's been stood up. He walks since it's only a ten minute walk and it's easier than driving. It'll also give him a chance to calm down since he's been stressing for the past half hour, trying on at least six different outfits before settling for the first one he'd tried on; a dark blue plaid shirt over a black vest and his favourite skinnies. He'd battled his hair as well, trying to decide between going for flat and soft, which Perrie used to prefer, or his standard spiked look that he usually chooses. In the end, he'd gone for a slightly less spiky version because he'd run out of time.

When he turns the corner and sees the coffee shop sign, he pauses and rubs his slightly damn hands on his jeans and rubbing his hands over his face to try and relax. It's just a date, he reminds himself. It's Liam. It's going to be great.

Then he's there, pushing the door open with a soft smile on his face - and he freezes. Liam's at a table near the back and he's laughing because he's sat with Harry and Niall and Louis.

Zayn feels his heart stutter and his stomach just drop. He feels sick. Oh god he's so stupid. He'd thought this was a date and it's just mates catching up. He casts a panicked look at the door, wondering if he can just slip out unnoticed and make up some excuse because he's not sure he can just stroll over there and pretend he's okay when he's not. Oh god he's not. He needs to get out of here. He needs to go.

"Zayn!"

Crap. Zayn turns back to the boys and Harry's waving furiously at him but Zayn's frozen, just standing in the doorway and probably blocking everyone's way.

"Zayn?" Harry's tone has changed, and now he's moving towards him. Harry's coming towards him and Zayn _can't move_. "Hey, are you alright?"

Zayn nods mutely. He can't speak; his mouth is too dry and he still feels sick.

"We've got you a drink," Harry tells him. He's staring at Zayn in confusion, his hand wrapped around Zayn's arm. "Hey, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," Zayn croaks eventually. He even manages a tiny smile. "I'm fine."

Somehow his feet move, following Harry back to the tiny table towards the back. Harry flops down next to Niall and Zayn barely registers the way their hands lock together because he's too busy trying to smile casually at the others. At Liam. Who looks a little uncomfortable. And Zayn wonders if it's written all over his face. Whether Liam can see the disappointment and the shame for wanting something so much that he'd convinced himself this was a date. That Liam might actually want to date him.

He forces a bright smile onto his face and sits himself down in the empty seat between Louis and Harry which sits him directly opposite Liam. "Hey," he says, proud when his voice comes out almost normal.

"Zayn, will you please tell these two to stop being so inappropriate when there are children about?" Louis says serenely.

Zayn glances about the coffee shop that is decidedly free of children.

"I meant Payno here," Louis says before he starts cackling and Niall joins in. Liam manages an indulgent smile and Harry hooks his ankle around Zayn's foot. Zayn shoots him a grateful smile.

"So?" Zayn asks, nodding at Harry and Niall.

There's blushes and stammerings but eventually Niall says they're dating and Harry's giggling into Niall's shoulder. It's cute and it makes Zayn's freshly bruised heart hurt just a little.

He can't bring himself to look at Liam. He's terrified that Liam knows what Zayn was thinking and pities him, and Zayn can't bear that.

"Finally, eh?" he says teasingly. "Thought you'd be dancing around each other for ages."

The conversation shifts, dancing around topics as they chat and Zayn quietly sips at his coffee. He nods and smiles and ignores the increasingly puzzled looks Harry sends him. He gets through a painfully awkward thirty minutes before he stands up abruptly and shoves his hand through his hair.

"Uh," he pauses as everyone turns to stare at him. "I've uh, gotta go. I'm meeting someone. Across town."

"Oh," Liam says. It's the first time he's spoken to Zayn since he walked into the coffee shop and Zayn looks at him before he can stop himself. Liam looks a bit muted, his usual smile absent. "You've got plans."

It's not really a question but Zayn gives him a tiny shrug anyway. "Yeah. Well, I'll see you later, yeah?"

There's a chorus of goodbyes that follow him out of the shop and he breathes a little easier. The pressure pushing down on his chest eases and he stupidly looks back through the window to see Liam watching him. Zayn gives him a half-hearted wave before he walks away, heading back home where he can wallow in misery and maybe sink a few beers until he stops feeling so fucking stupid.

Of course Liam didn't want to date him. Liam's given him absolutely no indication that he thought of Zayn like that so really, it's Zayn's own fault that he got it wrong. That he got his hopes up. He kicks at a leaf on the pavement in frustration. It would help if Liam wasn't so bloody great and nice.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he's half tempted to just throw it in the next bin he passes. But he fishes it out and reads while he walks.

_**heyyyy sorry that was weird niall asked what i was doin after work + when i said meeting u he wanted to come + then lou + harry came too** _

Zayn slides his key into the lock and walks into his house, throwing his keys down on the table in annoyance. He shouldn't be annoyed because it wasn't a date and as much as he wanted it to be a date, it's not Liam's fault that Zayn got his hopes up.

Another text comes through.

_**pls dont be mad i'm sorryyyy? :(** _

"Why is he so cute?" Zayn mutters to Tiger who's peering around the couch at him, possibly still scarred from earlier. "I can't hate him when he's being cute."

He types out a message and presses send before he can second guess himself.

_**sorry mate i just had to meet a friend across town. sorry i couldn't stay longer :)** _

_**ok as long as ur not mad at me :) maybe we can try again??** _

_**sure :)** _

Zayn's got three beers in the fridge. It's not enough to get him plastered but it's enough to make him feel a little better about his mistake. He winds up passing out on the sofa, Tiger curled up on his belly and Holby City playing quietly in the background.

*

Zayn does a pretty good job of pretending Wednesday's coffee not-date didn't happen. He busies himself by visiting his mum on a whim that has her beaming and clinging to his hand for over an hour before she starts cooking all his favourite foods. Zayn even lets her drag him shopping for half an hour so he can buy Waliyha's present and leave it at his mum's house because he's going to be away on a shoot for her birthday.

On Friday, he wakes up late and potters around the house. He sketches a bit and works on some personal projects and counts down the days until he can start work again. He's got a project up in Scotland doing a series for an online photographic library but he's still got to get through the weekend before he heads up there with Harry. Who is currently calling him.

"Zaaaayn we're all going out tonight, you can come right?" Harry's half-yelling down the phone for some reason.

"I don't think I can," Zayn tries to say but Harry's talking over him.

"Yes you can, Zayn, you haven't been busy on a Friday night since I met you," Harry says quite accurately. "C'mon, you like everyone right?"

"Fine," he says reluctantly. "But you're buying the first round."

"Yes!" Harry cheers happily. "Meet us there around eight."

"That's early," Zayn says in surprise.

"Liam and Louis have an early shift tomorrow," Harry explains. "Just be there, okay? Promise me?"

"I promise," Zayn grumbles.

By eight o’clock, he's convinced himself that this is a good idea. He can go to the bar and talk to Liam normally and he can start to get over this hopeless crush. He's made an effort tonight in a black fitted shirt and jeans and his favourite silver necklace hanging down low. He's twisted his hair just the way he likes it best and he finishes the outfit off with a leather jacket. When he strolls into the bar, he's actually feeling pretty good about everything.

Right up until he sees Liam first, standing at the bar and chatting to a guy next to him. Liam's wearing a dark blue shirt over a white vest with blue jeans that hang dangerously low on his hips. His shirt sleeves are rolled back and Zayn hates himself for feeling that familiar pull low in his belly that Liam seems to be able to generate inside of Zayn without even trying.

Zayn moves towards the rest of the boys, sliding into the empty seat next to Niall.

"Hey, you made it!" Harry says, leaning over Niall to drag Zayn in for a hug.

"And you owe me a drink," Zayn returns with a grin. He's determined to have fun tonight if it kills him.

"Next round," Harry promises. "Liam's at the bar, go let him know you're here!"

Zayn doesn't exactly want to but it's as good a place to start as anywhere. He hasn't heard from Liam since Wednesday but it’s not like he’s contacted Liam either. So he takes a deep breath and heads over to Liam, tapping him on the shoulder and not feeling guilty at all about interrupting Liam's conversation with the guy he's still talking to.

"Zayn!" Liam's face lights up when he turns to see him. "You came!"

"Why does everyone doubt me?" Zayn grumbles but he's smiling all the same. He watches the guy next to Liam throw him a wry smile before he moves away and Zayn slots into his space. "Beer please, fireman Liam."

Liam's grin widens as he turns to the bartender and adds Zayn's drink to his order. "Hey, so how've you been?"

"Good," Zayn says. This is fine. He can do this. He can have a normal conversation with Liam and it not be weird. So he tells Liam about his visit home and missing his sisters birthday. They make it back to the table with the drinks and Zayn's stopped worrying that this is going to be awkward. It's fine. He can totally do this.

He even sits next to Liam and they talk and laugh and Liam leans into him and it's all fine. Except that Zayn needs to get away from Liam before he embarrasses himself because Liam smells so good and he's grinning lopsidedly at Zayn and god this is what got him into trouble in the first place. So he excuses himself and heads to the loos to splash water on his face and cool off.

On his way back, he detours by the bar and orders himself a shot because he's not drunk enough for this. He then decides it'd be a better idea to order two more shots and knock them back in succession.

And when the girl next to him smiles up at him, Zayn smiles back because why the fuck not. She's cute with sharp blue eyes and blonde hair that reminds him of Perrie and she has distraction written all over her.

Zayn offers to buy her a drink.

And five minutes later, she's leading him out to the dancefloor because those shots have hit Zayn hard and he's drunk enough to let her. He catches Harry's eye on the way and winks at him. Harry frowns but Zayn's being pulled away before he can wonder at it. The girl, god he can't even remember her name, winds herself around him and he settles his hands on her hips, his touch light even as she presses her low-cut cleavage against his chest. And he tries. He really does try to distract himself with this pretty girl who's clearly sending him positive signals. Zayn lets her snake her arms around his neck and he closes his eyes, desperately wishing he felt something other than disinterest.

When the song ends, she presses a lingering kiss on his cheek and walks away, leaving Zayn to wander back to the table.

"Who was that?" Harry asks when he stumbles into his chair.

He shoots Harry a grin that feels forced. "Just a girl. Cute, right?"

"Yeah," Harry says, and that frown is back to mar his expression. Harry's eyes flicker towards Liam and Zayn reaches for his untouched beer and downs half of it in one long swallow.

"So what did I miss?" Zayn asks brightly.

"Nothing much," Louis says, leaning into Zayn's side and wrapping his hand around Zayn's arm. His grip feels heavy, like he's pinning Zayn in place. "Tell us what you've been up to, Zayn."

"Uh, just work and visiting home," Zayn says, scratching idly at his collarbone. "Nothing much."

"Sounds like fun," Louis says wistfully before Liam drags him into a cuddle.

"Ignore him, he gets homesick if he doesn't see his mum and sisters for a while," Liam says with a smile that doesn't seem to quite reach his eyes.

Zayn leans towards him without really realising what he's doing. "My mum cooked all my favourite foods and now I've got a freezer full of meals to last me through the apocalypse."

Liam's smile is a bit shy and a bit unsure but it's there. "My mum sends me food in the post sometimes," Liam admits. "And she sends me her Tesco vouchers."

Zayn grins and soon the three of them are trying to out-do each other in the over-protective mum category. Zayn thinks it's probably a tie.

"Must be my round," Zayn says when he picks up his beer to find it empty. "Same again?"

There's a chorus of cheers and Zayn weaves his way slowly to the bar. He gives his order and leans back against the bar, feeling a little dizzy and wondering if maybe he should slow down or get some water.

"Hi."

Zayn opens his eyes to see a cute guy smiling at him. He's young, but not too young Zayn notes and he's checking Zayn out.

"Hi," Zayn murmurs with a smile.

"Can I buy you a drink?" the guy asks just as Zayn's order arrives on the bar. "Oh," the guy says with an embarrassed laugh. "Maybe next time, right?"

Zayn hands over his change to the bartender before he turns back to the guy and cocks his head thoughtfully. Maybe, he thinks a bit desperately. Maybe this will work.

"Wait here, okay?" Zayn says, letting his hand drift over the guy's hand where it's resting on the bar.

He scoops up the bottles and turns to find Liam standing there, glancing at Zayn and then behind him before he looks back at Zayn. There's an odd look in his eyes that Zayn doesn't recognise. Embarrassed and slightly panicked, Zayn shoves four of the beers into Liam's hands. "Mate, can you take those back to the table? I've uh, I'm just chatting to someone, yeah?"

"Sure," Liam says slowly. He looks back over Zayn's shoulder before he turns away, shoulders hunched a little and Zayn watches him disappear into the crowd.

"Hey, are you like, with him?" the guy asks, sounding apologetic. "Sorry, man."

"Oh no, we're not together," Zayn says. If it comes out a little sad, then the guy is kind enough not to mention it. Instead he smiles and Zayn finds himself moving forward until he's pressed up a little too close to the guy whose name he doesn't know. They're chest to chest and he's cute, and apparently nice too and Zayn tries to imagine kissing him. He tries to picture them grinding against each other and all he can think about is Liam. Liam walking away from him.

Liam, who's not interested in him.

He's a fucking glutton for punishment and he needs to stop thinking about the guy who _doesn't_ want him and start thinking about the cute boy right in front of him who _does_ want him.

*

Zayn's been on the dancefloor more than he's been at the table tonight. In his defence, he knows he's being a dick. He's danced with girls and guys and all he can think about is Liam.

It's messing with his drunken mind.

"Come back to mine?" the girl he's dancing with yells into his ear. Zayn wishes he could. Zayn wishes more than anything that he could say yes and go back to hers and bury himself in her until he can't remember his own name, let alone Liam's.

He moves back just a little and he brushes a kiss against her cheek. "Sorry," he murmurs before he steps back and moves through sweaty bodies, feeling dizzy and drunk and miserable. He's barely spoken to the guys all night and he wouldn't blame them if they'd gone and left him there. But he spies the table and they're all there, although Liam and Louis are on their feet and Louis' got his arm slung around Liam's waist, resting his head on Liam's shoulder.

"Hey," Zayn says. He gratefully takes the glass of water Harry pushes into his hand and downs the whole glass in one go.

"Looked like you were having fun out there," Harry says. There's an edge to his voice that makes Zayn bristle and he drops the glass down a bit too heavily on the table.

"Yeah, I was," Zayn says flatly. He's glaring at Harry and Harry's glaring right back at him and Zayn doesn't even know why. His head is pounding and he kind of wants to throw up.

There's movement to his left and Zayn turns to see Liam shrugging into his jacket. He looks upset for some reason and Zayn's first instinct is to move towards him, to throw his arms open and hug Liam until he smiles again.

But he's drunk and he's got a stupid crush on Liam and if he takes another step towards him, Zayn's going to totally embarrass himself. So he holds himself rigid, wrapping his arms around himself protectively and watches as Liam stumbles away from the table.

"Sorry, I've got to go," Liam says. His voice sounds rough and Zayn wonders if he's been smoking. Sometimes his own voice gets really raspy when he's had too many cigarettes. "Got work in the morning, haven't I."

"Yeah, I should go too," Louis says quickly and grabs his own coat before he turns to Zayn. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out because Liam's slapped his hand over it.

"C'mon Lou," Liam says and Zayn must be really drunk because Liam sounds a bit desperate. "Bye guys."

Liam doesn't look at him and Zayn feels so, so sick.

They leave without another word and Zayn's left swaying slightly as he stares after Liam.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Harry hisses, grabbing at Zayn's arm a little too hard. Zayn thinks he might bruise.

"You're kind of a dick, mate," Niall says, sounding confused.

"Yeah, I know," Zayn says, suddenly unable to stand up any longer. He sinks down into the chair and covers his face with his hands. "Harry, can you take me home?"

There's a loud, annoyed sigh but then an arm curls around his shoulders and Zayn turns to bury his head into Harry's shoulder. "Yeah mate. We'll take you home."

Zayn lets them guide him out of the bar and he clings to Harry's hand the entire way.

*

Zayn wakes up fully clothed with a pounding headache, a mouth that tastes like cardboard and his phone ringing. Disorientated, he reaches for the glass of water and Nurofen someone left on his bedside table and downs the entire contents in one. He manages to knock his phone off the table but it still rings on the floor, JT blasting out from when Zayn thought it was a good idea to download Mirrors as his ringtone. In hindsight, and hungover as hell, it was a terrible decision and he absolutely regrets everything.

His tongue is still dry, even after the water, so he climbs out of bed and wriggles out of his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor wherever they fall and he staggers to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Then he checks his phone. Fifteen missed calls from Harry and it’s two o’clock in the afternoon. Shit.

"Harry?" Zayn says when Harry answers, his voice sounding a bit wrecked. "You alright?"

"Hi Zayn." Harry sounds scarily chirpy. Zayn winces as he falls back into bed and pulls the covers up over his head. "How’s the head?"

"Feels like a truck backed up over it," Zayn admits grumpily. "Uh, thanks for getting me home last night."

"Oh no worries," Harry continues in that same chirpy tone. "So, Zayn. Want to tell me why you were being such a dick last night?"

Not really, is Zayn’s first, most immediate thought. He has no intention of humiliating himself any further than he’s already done. "Dunno what you’re talking about," he lies. "Was just doing what we do on nights out. You’ve probably forgotten now that you’re all loved up with fireman Niall."

"Are you being serious?" Harry’s dropped all pretence of sounding cheerful. He sounds vaguely outraged. "Are you honestly being serious? You were a complete dick. You barely said two words to anyone last night. And Liam …"

"Liam what, Harry?" Zayn’s already tired of this conversation. He just wants to go back to sleep. Possibly forever. "Liam realised that I’m kind of an asshole? That’s not exactly news, mate. Because I am."

"No, you’re not actually," Harry says firmly. "Which is why last night was a complete bloody surprise. What were you thinking? Why did you keep flaunting other people in front of-"

"Because I’m fucking alone and I don’t want to be," Zayn interrupts in frustration. And the boy I want doesn’t want me back, he adds silently.

There’s silence on the end of the phone and Zayn shoves his hand through his hair. "Look, I’m sorry I was a dick. I promise I won’t be next time, alright? Apologise to your mates and tell them I’m an idiot, yeah?"

"They could be your mates too," Harry says softly. "They want to be. Liam and Louis, they really like you. And Niall wants to be your mate too, and not only because we’re fucking and you’re important to me, Zayn."

Zayn smiles in spite of himself. "Fuck you, Styles," he says gently. "You’re important to me too. And I’ll be on my best behaviour next time. I will."

"Okay." Harry sounds appeased and Zayn squeezes his eyes shut in relief. "Do you want me to bring you a McDonalds for your hangover?"

"No, you’re alright. I’ll speak to you later Harry, yeah?"

"Bye mate."

Zayn really wants to go back to sleep but his body won't cooperate. So one shower, change of clothes and two pieces of toast later, Zayn's out in the garden trying to remember some yoga poses Harry tried to show him once. He gives up after five minutes though and just lies in the grass, staring up at the sky.

He digs his phone out of his pocket while he lays there and brings up Liam's messages. He knows Liam's at work, but he thumbs out a message anyway.

_**hey mate, sorry for being a dick last night :( x** _

Liam doesn't reply until Zayn's back inside with a cup of tea and sitting at his Mac to work on some personal projects that he's been neglecting.

_**heyyy no worries! wud hav been nice to see more of u tho! do u wanna get coffee later? just the 2 of usss! :D x** _

Zayn's so relieved that Liam isn't the type of person to hold a grudge that he just hugs his knees for a minute and buries his head between his arms. They arrange to meet at the same place after Liam's shift and this time, Zayn doesn't kid himself that it's a date. He very deliberately wears joggers and an old t-shirt that possibly has paint spatters on it. He shoves on a beanie to cover his unstyled hair and he doesn't even bother glancing in the mirror when he leaves the house.

He likes to think of it as progress.

This time when he steps into the coffee shop, he's prepared for Liam to be sitting with someone else. So it's a nice surprise to find Liam sitting by the window, all alone. Zayn can't help glancing around just to make sure that there's no one waiting to spring a surprise on him.

"Zayn?" Liam's wearing that half-smile that makes him look younger than he is.

"Hey," Zayn says, forcing himself forward until he can drop into the seat opposite Liam. There's a coffee in front of him and he raises an eyebrow.

"Americano, right?" Liam asks. "I remembered."

"Yeah," Zayn says huskily. "Yeah, you did."

He wraps his hands around the coffee mug and smiles at Liam, desperately trying not to let his thudding heart mean anything. Liam remembering his order doesn't mean anything other than he's observant and a thoughtful person, two things he already knew about Liam. Hell, he knows Harry's three different coffee orders and which one he wants depending on the time of day or mood he's in.

"Did you have a good shift?" Zayn asks. "I don't know how you work the morning after going out."

"I didn't really drink that much last night." Liam's fiddling with a napkin, making tiny rips around the edges. Zayn focuses on watching him do that because otherwise he's going to start thinking about how cute Liam looks with his freshly washed hair, tousled into a loose style and he's wearing what Zayn's coming to realise is Liam's preferred style, which is a white vest under a shirt and blue jeans. He looks unbelievably good and if Zayn leans forward a little, he can catch a hint of Liam's scent; fresh and cool. He looks effortlessly beautiful while Zayn feels like a mess. "But yeah, work was alright. I've got Louis on a training programme because he's got terrible upper body strength. Turns out he's terrible at lifting weights and nearly broke his arm lifting a weight that was too heavy for him."

"Did you rescue him then?" Zayn asks, smiling into his coffee cup and taking a quick sip.

"Yeah, well someone needed to," Liam says with a laugh. "He was shouting that he had it, even as the weight was pinning him down. Bloody stubborn, Lou is."

"Sounds like a good trait to have when you're saving lives," Zayn says mildly.

"Yeah, except when he gets reckless and starts throwing himself in danger." Liam's face has closed up a little and his eyes drop.

"You can't tell me that you're not the same way," Zayn teases gently. He gently nudges Liam's foot with his own under the table.

"Maybe," Liam admits reluctantly. He picks up his own drink and his eyes crinkle as he smiles at Zayn over his cup.

"Yeah, I thought so," Zayn murmurs, shaking his head. "I don't think Harry's quite realised how dangerous Niall's job really is. He's gonna be a nightmare when he works it out."

Liam leans forward, folding his arms on the table and frowns. "It's not easy," he says quietly. "It's why Lou and El are always breaking up and getting back together. They can't live without each other but she struggles with the whole firefighter thing."

"Well, that sucks," Zayn says softly. "And yet it's completely understandable."

"It's not even really the job though," Liam says. "It's his recklessness. Louis will run into a burning building without stopping to make sure that it's safe, or at least weigh up the risks first."

"Is that what you do then?" Zayn asks. He finds himself leaning forward too, mirroring Liam without even thinking about it.

"I understand the urge to just run in, definitely," Liam says, before he sighs and rakes his hand through his hair. Misery is etched into his face for a brief moment. "But I have to protect my team. I can't risk them if it's too dangerous. And as much as I want to run in myself, I have to lead by example, even if that means I have to physically restrain Louis for his own good."

"I bet he hates that."

"He's gone two weeks without speaking to me before," Liam says, grinning.

Zayn settles back in his comfortable chair and listens as Liam tells him the story. And then they talk about their sisters and how awful they are except when they're great. Zayn listens carefully as Liam explains, without rancour, how he was bullied in school and his sisters came to his defence. Zayn has to breathe deeply by the end of the story so he can loosen his painful grip on his armrests. It's hard to look at Liam, to see the easy smiles and the earnest looks and the friendly eyes, and yet know that someone wanted to take all of that away from him.

It's easy to understand why it couldn't be done though, Zayn thinks as Liam laughs loudly at Zayn's own story about how he thought he could fly when he was younger, just like Superman, and how his sister had to talk him down from the garden trellis he'd climbed up before she'd picked him up and let him pretend to fly. His gaze skims over Liam's exposed neck where his head is slightly tipped back, the skin unblemished and smooth and tanned.

God he just wants to bite it. Mouth at it. Suck a big ugly mark on it to say he was there.

Zayn swallows the rest of his now-cold coffee and clears his throat as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well, I guess I better get going," Liam says, sounding a bit reluctant. "I need to go home and feed the dog."

"You've got a dog?" Zayn asks as they get to their feet and Liam picks up their empty coffee cups to take them over to the counter. Liam flashes the barista a smile and Zayn watches in amusement as the poor girl flushes and stammers out a thank you.

Liam's nodding when he strolls back towards Zayn and they head out of the shop together. "Yeah, he's called Loki and he's an Alaskan Klee Kai, which is kinda like a husky. My sister looks after him when I can't get home because of my shifts."

"Loki?" Zayn asks, quirking an eyebrow at Liam as they walk together. It's starting to get colder as the September nights grow shorter and Zayn shoves his hands into his jacket to keep them warm. "Like, from Thor?"

"You like Thor?" Liam asks, his eyes lighting up as he beams widely at Zayn. "Do you read the actual comics then? Not just the movies?"

"Love 'em." Zayn shrugs, not embarrassed at all. "I like all kinds of art."

"Okay, next time we're going to talk about all your favourites and whether Marvel or DC is better," Liam says excitedly. He's practically bouncing as they near the end of the road, where their paths will separate. "I love superheroes, mate. I used to pretend I was gonna grow up to be one."

Zayn pictures a younger, skinnier Liam, desperate to make friends and scared of bigger, meaner kids determined to beat him down. His stomach churns. "Seems like you did, Liam. You save lives for a living. And you haven't got any cool powers, like invisibility or super strength or healing powers." He gives Liam an exaggeratedly piercing look. "Right?" he asks suspiciously.

"I wish," Liam laughs, elbowing Zayn lightly as they walk.

"Exactly," Zayn says with a satisfied nod. "So I think that makes you better than a superhero. If that means anything."

They reach the end of the road and turn in towards each other. Liam looks adorably shy and earnest and Zayn has to remind himself that he's building a friendship with Liam and nothing more. It can never be anything more, no matter how much he likes Liam, and god he likes him more and more every time they meet. But Liam isn't into him and Zayn respects that.

He _tries_ to respect that.

"It does," Liam says quietly. "Thanks Zayn."

"And hey, my favourite superhero right now is the Hulk, although it does change pretty often," Zayn says, grinning when Liam looks faintly outraged at his choice. "It used to be Superman."

"Oh mate, no." Liam's shaking his head and Zayn swears to god Liam's going to stick his fingers in his ears if Zayn keeps talking. "Batman! It's gotta be Batman."

"Batman's alright," Zayn says dismissively, just to see Liam's face drop. But he rallies a minute later, to Zayn's amusement. "I'm kidding, Liam. I love Batman."

Liam looks so relieved that Zayn laughs before he tugs Liam into a brief hug. Of friendship. A friendly hug.

"I'm off to Scotland for a few days with Harry on a shoot, but text me, yeah? We'll talk superheroes." Zayn steps back and shoves his traitorous hands back in his pockets.

They say goodbye and Zayn waits for a minute to watch Liam walk away before he turns towards home, his shoulders hunched up slightly as he tries to remember what the hell he's got to pack for his trip.

*

Zayn's week in Scotland drags by. He and Harry spend most of their time holed up in their hotel or in the pub down the street that they found on their first night in town and declared it to be their local. The photographs turn out well but they're hardly going to set the world on fire, it's one of Zayn's more mundane jobs but they pay the bills so he continues to do them.

Liam texts him when he and Harry are almost at the Scottish border. It's a simple text asking if Zayn prefers Christian Bale or Michael Keaton as Batman but it sparks a long, semi-heated conversation that lasts all the way to their hotel, spanning who their favourite villains are and who had the best characterisation. And when Zayn turns in early that first night, claiming exhaustion even though Harry did all the driving, he and Liam text non-stop until 1am when Zayn finally does fall asleep, his phone in hand.

It happens every night. And every night, Zayn goes to bed with an achingly hard dick because he refuses to jerk off to the thought of Liam anymore and yet he can't _stop_ thinking about Liam, which is what gets him hard in the first place. And trying to think of Liam as just a mate isn't helping at all.

By the time they pack up the car to head back home, Zayn's snappish and irritable and not even Harry's gift of a chocolate muffin and an Americano when they stop for petrol helps.

His mood isn't much improved when he gets back home to find Ed's left him a message about a new job.

_"Zayn, it's Ed. I've just spoken to the company who's produced the firefighter calendar you did a few weeks ago. Turns out they love it and there's loads of buzz about one of the guys in particular, Mr. September? All the focus groups they've done have singled him out and they're interested in doing a calendar just with him. Still a charity one mind you so you'd have to waive your fee again. Let me know what you think, we’ll have to move fast. Talk soon."_

Zayn stalks through the house, unpacking and generally making his house even messier than it was before he left. He puts a load of washing on and climbs in the shower to wash the journey off him.

He doesn't let himself think about Liam's calendar until he's standing out in his back garden and on his second consecutive cigarette. Commercially, he knows it'll be a sell out. It'd be good for him professionally too. And the charity would make a lot of money.

But he'd have to spend all day with Liam in various sexy poses, half-naked and staring at the camera with his sexy eyes and his mouth and his face. And between shots they'd probably talk about comic books and their sisters and Liam's job.

And that would be bad. Really, really bad.

"I'm sure Liam would do it," Harry says when he calls the next day. "If it's for charity. And he obviously feels comfortable with you."

Zayn's had all night to stew over the offer and he's still not sure. He's not going to admit to Harry why he's reluctant to do the shoot but taking half-naked pictures of Liam isn't going to help with the whole fancying-Liam-like-mad situation he's got going on.

In the end, Zayn sends Liam a text asking if they can meet to talk. Liam suggests the next day at the coffee shop and sends him the monkey emoji covering his eyes.

When he walks into the coffee shop and sees Liam sitting by the window again, he's struck by how much more he knows about Liam now than the last time they met here not even a week ago. He knows how Liam feels about pretty much any superhero ever and he knows which movies he rates and which ones he doesn't. He knows his sister used to dress Liam up in heels and make up when he was younger. He knows Liam wanted to sing when he was a kid, but chose fire-fighting as a career after his friend had an accident and Liam helped to put the fire out.

"Hey-" he gets cut off by Liam engulfing him in a hug. Zayn's arms wrap around Liam instinctively and he turns his head into Liam's neck. He gets a scent of Liam's aftershave and his arms tighten a little before he steps back and smiles a bit wonkily at Liam. "Hi."

"Hi," Liam says with a bright, beaming grin.

Zayn takes in the smart button down shirt Liam's wearing and the way his hair is smoothly gelled back and he frowns as he takes a seat, folding his arms across his chest. "Oh," he says as it clicks, his heart sinking. "Do you have a date after this? Shit, sorry mate. We can do this another time if you want, it can wait."

Liam's suddenly fascinated with his coffee cup and he won't meet Zayn's gaze, which he takes as confirmation.

"I've got time," Liam says quietly, looking a bit embarrassed.

Zayn wants to know who it is. He wants to know their name and where they met Liam and whether they know how important Liam's job is to him and whether he knows that Liam's favourite superhero is Batman but he named his dog after an anti-hero anyway. But Liam doesn't say anything about his date and Zayn refuses to ask and add to his growing misery.

"So my agent left me a message while I was in the wilds of the Scottish moors, which are fucking bleak in September," Zayn says. He's aiming to make Liam smile but he gets a blank look.. "He said the calendar's going to be a huge hit but there was a month that was particularly popular and he wants me to do a whole calendar with one model. You."

Liam's mouth is slightly open and there's shock written all over his face. "Me? Not Louis?"

"Nope, not Louis," Zayn says solemnly.

"Niall? Bressie?" Liam says, sounding a little desperate.

"Sorry mate, they want you. For the same charity. But it's alright if you want to say no, Liam. There's honestly no pressure."

"Yeah right," Liam says dryly. "I'm sure the paediatric burns unit would completely understand if I said no, right?"

Zayn just grins at him.

"You're such a dick," Liam says with a laugh. "So uh, who's gonna be shooting it then?"

"Oh, were my services not good enough last time?" Zayn teases him. "You want someone better? I can see if Harry's free, although he'll probably get distracted by Niall and chop your head out of photos and the charity might end up with a calendar full of pictures of Niall's dick instead. But I can ask, if you want."

Liam's smiling so hard his eyes have all but disappeared behind crinkles. "Well, I guess you could do it, if it means saving the world from pictures of Niall's dick. But like, could we do it just the two of us? Without Harry, I mean. Like, I like Harry. A lot. He's great. But I think I'd find it easier if it was just the two of us. If that's alright, I mean. It's probably a lot of trouble, right?"

"Liam, it's fine," Zayn says, reaching out to press his hand over Liam's where it's wrapped around his coffee mug. "I can do it solo if it makes you more comfortable."

"Okay," Liam says, taking a deep breath before he smiles at Zayn. "What about the location? Does it have to be at the firestation again? Because that could be embarrassing."

"Fraid so," Zayn murmurs, withdrawing his hand to pick up his own coffee mug and leaning back in his seat. "But I guess we could do some of the shots in the studio with some props. I'll need to do some shots on site but I'll do as many in the studio as I can. It'll help to differentiate it from the first calendar anyway."

"Okay," Liam says with a slow nod. Zayn can see the internal battle written all over his expressive face though. But Zayn keeps quiet and lets Liam mull it over. Zayn had needed a day before he could agree to even floating the option to Liam, so it's only fair to give Liam at least the same amount of time to decide.

"You don't have to decide now," Zayn tells him. "Take your time, it's alright."

"No, no I'll do it, Zayn. Of course I'll do it. Just, you know, you might have to be a bit patient with me." Liam's smile is a bit lopsided but it's not forced and Zayn sighs in relief.

"Okay, cool, I can definitely do that" Zayn says, his lips curving into a pleased smile. He catches Liam's eye and they just grin at each other for a moment. He's reluctant to look away but something glints in the corner of his eye and his gaze travels down to Liam's wrist where a gold watch is winking in the sunlight at him, reflecting off the glass face. "Oh, do you need to go? You're not late for your date are you?"

Liam flushes and makes a half shrug that Zayn interprets as a yes. "I guess I'll wait to hear from you about dates and stuff then?" Liam asks, getting to his feet.

"Yeah, it'll probably be sooner rather than later," Zayn says. "They'll need to get it into production quickly for it to hit the shops in mid-October. I'll text you though, yeah?"

"Okay, great. Well, I guess I better be going then," Liam says. He moves towards the door and opens it for Zayn to step through first.

"Well, have fun on your date," Zayn says. He manages not to choke on the words, which he's pretty proud of himself for. "And thanks for the coffee, Liam. My treat next time, yeah?"

"Sure," Liam says before he pulls Zayn in for a half hug that simply has the effect of filling Zayn's lungs with Liam's fresh aftershave and reminds him how nice and firm Liam's body is.

It's torture.

He waves Liam off as they part in different directions and he walks the long way home. But he can still smell Liam's scent much later when he flops onto his bed, feeling thoroughly dejected as he's plagued with thoughts of where Liam could be and with who and what they might be doing. And when Tiger crawls next to him and wriggles himself against Zayn's chest, purring quietly, Zayn cuddles him close and buries his face in Tiger's fur and wishes things could be different.

*

Zayn's back at the fire station a few days later, lunch in hand. He pokes his head into reception and he gets ushered back to the kitchen where Liam's standing with Louis, Niall and Bressie. It's amusing to watch Liam's limbs flail for a second when he sees Zayn in the doorway since it's something of a surprise visit.

"Zayn!" Liam finds his feet again, grabbing the counter for balance, and Zayn has to hide his smile. "Did we have a meeting set up? God I'm so sorry I must've completely forgotten-"

"Liam, relax," Zayn says. He waves around the bag he's holding. "We didn't have plans, I just thought I'd pop round and talk about the calendar and since I owe you for the coffees, I brought lunch, if you have time?"

Liam just stares at him and Zayn can feel his own heart beat loudly in his chest because Liam doesn't say anything.

"That's nice of you Zayn, did you bring lunch for everyone?" Louis asks loudly, drawing Zayn's gaze reluctantly from where Liam's still staring at him. "Or is this just a lunch date for two?"

"I guess it could stretch maybe," Zayn says, frowning as he checks the bag he's carrying even though he knows exactly what's inside and it's definitely not enough to share between five.

"Oh for fuck's sake I'm kidding," Louis says, rolling his eyes. Zayn knows he's flushing and Louis grins at him like he can read every inappropriate thought Zayn's ever had about Liam. "Go have your lunch date, lads. I'll come get you if you're needed, Liam, alright?"

It takes a gentle shove from Niall to get Liam moving and Zayn ends up leading the way to Liam's office. Zayn's a bit surprised when Liam shuts the door behind them but Liam just gives him a wry smile. "The entire department will walk past and interrupt if I leave the door open."

Zayn busies himself with emptying his bag. It's two sandwiches, a giant packet of crisps, two bottles of Lucozade and two ready-made fruit salads.

"It's a proper packed lunch," Liam says in wonder, peering over Zayn's shoulder. "My mum used to give us that when we went to school."

"I went to Tesco and panicked," Zayn admits with an embarrassed shrug. He shoves one of the sandwiches at Liam and sits himself down in one of the chairs while Liam takes the other. "Hope you like cheese and tomato."

"Love it," Liam says.

Zayn's pretty sure Liam's answer would be the same no matter what sandwich Zayn picked. "So this is kind of a thank you as well, for doing the charity calendar," Zayn says around a mouthful of his own sandwich.

"Oh, you don't have to thank me," Liam says, pausing with the sandwich halfway to his mouth. His lips curve down and he starts to frown. "I want to do it, honestly. I mean, it's even worth the teasing I get from Niall and Louis."

"They giving you shit?" Zayn murmurs, wiping at his mouth self-consciously when Liam grins at him.

"They keep pinning pictures of me up around the station," Liam says with an exaggerated sigh. Because he's looking carefully, Zayn can see the slight tilt of his lips and the amused glint in Liam's eyes. "And they're calling me, uh, Hottie McPayno. I have no idea why, but it's not like that's ever stopped them before."

Zayn bursts out laughing, shaking his head as Liam pouts at him. "It could be worse, bro."

"How?" Liam moans before he shoves a handful of crisps into his mouth. "It's embarrassing."

"Yeah but you love it." Zayn's onto Liam. He's totally onto the way Liam lights up when he's being teased. "Weird friends you've got, Liam."

"But you like them, right?" Liam asks. He's paused eating again to look at Zayn like the answer is really important to him.

"Yeah, they're alright," Zayn says casually. When Liam's face drops slightly, Zayn grins and shoves the rest of his sandwich into Liam's open mouth. Liam chews slowly before he swallows and grins back at him.

"Ace," he says simply and picks up his fruit pot.

"So what do you guys normally do for lunch around here?" Zayn asks after a few minutes of companionable silence.

"Some guys bring their own food, but usually someone does a run to one of the local cafes or restaurants to grab food and we all eat in the kitchen," Liam says, carefully putting all his empty packaging back into the bag Zayn brought them in before he reaches for Zayn's and disposes of them too. "It's nice though, eating in here with you. It's a nice change."

Zayn takes the bag off Liam and puts it in the bin under the desk. "You sure? Because we could have eaten in the kitchen. I wouldn't have minded."

"No, it's nice to uh, have some quiet time," Liam says and he settles back in his seat. "So do you have to rush off then? Now that you've fed me?"

"I've got some time," Zayn says, making himself comfortable. "You think we can arrange this shoot then?"

"Yeah, I've been checking the schedule actually." Liam pulls out a huge organiser and thumbs through it. "How's Thursday?"

"As in two days from now?" Zayn asks. He does a mental check of his commitments. "Yeah, I can do Thursday."

"The station is shutting down on Thursday for training," Liam says. "The department over in Middlewich is going to cover the area with a double shift so this place will be empty."

"You don't have to do the training?" Zayn asks as he pulls out his phone and texts Harry the details, even though Harry doesn't need to be there. It’s mostly out of habit than anything else.

"I get to do another course for management," Liam says, not sounding overly enthusiastic about it. Off Zayn's puzzled look, Liam manages a smile. "It's less fun when you don't know anyone else on the course. Anyway, it means we can shoot here."

Zayn sticks around for another half hour and they end up in the kitchen where Zayn gets to hear the boys teasing Liam firsthand. It's pretty adorable how the tips of Liam's ears go pink and yet his eyes shine with humour. And he gives as good as he gets, telling Louis he's going to buy umpteen copies of the calendar and send it to his mum and sisters for Christmas.

"I'll see you on Thursday then, yeah?" Zayn says when Liam walks him out to his car.

"Bright and early," Liam says cheerfully when Zayn grimaces. "Hey, and thanks for lunch, Zayn."

"No worries," he says gruffly. He climbs into his car and rolls down the window. "Thanks for letting me distract you from important fire-fighting duties." He pauses for a moment. "Hottie McPayno."

He drives away to the sound of Liam's groans, grinning stupidly as he keeps checking the rear-view mirror until Liam's out of sight.

*

Zayn's got a few meetings for future projects that afternoon and in the morning that make him tired and excited and stressed with his schedule up to Christmas already. He's practically booked solid for all of November and December, right up to the day before Christmas Eve when he'll probably drive to his parents and crash in his old bedroom for at least 24 hours before his mum tries to force-feed him for the rest of the holidays.

So he's grateful when Harry arrives with takeout for two the night before his shoot with Liam, carrying folders and notepads and Post-It notes and an array of coloured pens. Zayn's not sure what half of it is for but he's definitely all for Harry arranging his life to make everything a bit less stressful.

The takeout goes into the oven to keep it warm because Harry insists on strategising their work schedule before dinner and soon enough, Zayn's living room is covered with coloured notes covered in Harry's scrawling. It takes them two hours to divide the work between them and Zayn breathes a sigh of relief when Harry packs everything away, his cheerful smile lifting Zayn's mood.

"Thanks mate," Zayn says fervently when it's all cleared and he can see the floor again. "You're a lifesaver."

"Dunno what you'd do without me to be honest," Harry says, shoving the last folder away before he turns to blast Zayn with a beaming, bright grin. "Guess you're stuck with me then."

Zayn bats Harry's hands away when he tries to move in for a cuddle. "Until I find a more useful assistant anyway," Zayn says, because he knows Harry won't settle for being his assistant much longer. Or rather, Harry would stay as Zayn's assistant to look after Zayn if Zayn let him. So it's probably going to be up to him to kick Harry out of the proverbial nest and let him fly, a thought that hurts more than it should.

"Zaaaayn," Harry wheedles, making grabby hands at him.

Zayn tugs him in for a quick cuddle but then he firmly shoves Harry away, ignoring his squawk of protest and disappears into the kitchen to grab the food. They eat sprawled out over the floor, bickering over who gets the last spring roll and who's responsible for picking out all the king prawns from the rice.

"So," Harry says in an innocent tone that has Zayn's hackles rising instantly. He can feel his shoulders tightening already. "What's going on with Liam then?"

"What do you mean?" Zayn asks gruffly.

"I mean," Harry drawls slowly as he pokes at a mushroom with his fork, "what's going on with you and Liam, Zayn?"

"We're mates." Zayn pushes his empty plate away and flops back against the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "He's nice."

"Yeah, I know he's nice," Harry says like he thinks Zayn's being dumb. "Very nice. He also has a major crush on you."

Zayn rolls his eyes and he lifts his hand to rest it on his overfed belly. "Well, he doesn't." Zayn's voice sounds flat even to his own ears. "Liam definitely doesn't. He's just really nice and kind and he's sweet in a way that should be annoying."

Harry grins at that, rolling over onto his belly so he's lying next to Zayn. "And does he annoy you?"

Only because he's not currently upstairs in Zayn's bed, he thinks miserably. "No, he doesn't and that's annoying," Zayn says, giving into a grin when Harry starts laughing. "Shut up."

"It's cute, you're totally smitten with Fireman Liam," Harry says and Zayn can't even be bothered to pretend to correct him.

"Fireman Liam went on a date the other day, so he's definitely not into me," Zayn mumbles quietly.

"He did?" Harry asks, his voice rising in surprise.

Zayn turns towards him and manages a shrug. "Yeah, I mean it's cool. He's not into me. And why would he be?"

"Uh, because you're gorgeous and funny and smart and sarcastic and you probably bond over all that dorky comic book stuff because Niall says Liam's really into it and basically you're so perfect for each other that it's like, fate or something?" Harry says in one long breath.

Zayn groans and buries his face into Harry's shoulder. This whole situation with Liam is making him feel like a teenager again and he's grateful when Harry's long limbs fold over him so they end up tangled together. Harry's stroking the back of his neck comfortingly and Zayn eventually relaxes against him.

"M'just a lonely photographer with commitment issues and a handful of friends," he mutters.

Harry smacks him around the back of the head, drawing an 'ow!' from him and he rubs at the sore spot.

"You're an idiot," Harry says fondly while Zayn glares at him. "You haven't got commitment issues, you just keep picking the wrong people to date, nice as they were. Besides, Niall thinks you're great. Like, so great that I'm a bit jealous. He keeps going on about your eyelashes, Zayn. Like, _all the time_."

"I’ve always liked Niall," Zayn declares before he gets his arm around Harry's neck and tugs. They wrestle for a bit until Zayn has Harry pinned to the ground and he's grinning down at him. "Hey. You don't need to be jealous, you know. Not with these long locks of yours. Prettiest boy I know, Styles."

"Nah, I'm only messing." Harry wriggles a bit to get free but Zayn keeps him easily in place. "Besides, Niall does love my hair. Especially when I'm on my knees. He likes to grab hold of it and tug-"

"Harry for fucks sake shut up," Zayn says quickly, loosening his grip and letting Harry go as he rolls away. "Wanker."

Harry looks thoroughly unrepentant and Zayn throws a cushion at his dumb face.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Harry continues blithely, "Louis likes you too. He thinks you're a bit of a dick but he says he's partial to that in a person."

"The feeling is mutual," Zayn admits, standing up and stretching before he piles all the empty cartons up and starts ferrying them to the kitchen.

And wonders what Liam says about him that Harry's not telling him.

*

Zayn pulls up to the fire station fully prepared for the day ahead. He's had a huge breakfast at the cafe down his street, he's had a good night's sleep aside from where he kept waking up hard and aching but he's barely counting that being a thing anymore since it happens so frequently at the moment, and he's got every single piece of equipment in his car that he could possibly need. The fire engine is out ready in the main drive and there's a table that's been thoughtfully put out for him this time.

It all goes to hell when he sees Liam coming out of the station with Lou by his side, a huge bag in Liam's hand that Zayn knows belongs to the stylist.

"Hey Lou," Zayn murmurs as they draw near and he accepts her hug. "You managed to make something decent out of this mess then?"

"Well, it was tough but I did what I could." Lou's tone manages to sound both long-suffering and fond and Zayn knows exactly how she feels.

"Hey," Liam pouts prettily next to her.

"Oh shush, you're about to shoot your own calendar so no pouting unless there's a camera aimed your way," Lou says, reaching up to give Liam's shoulder a squeeze. "Take it easy on the poor lad, Zayn. He's a bit nervous."

"I will, and thanks for helping Lou," Zayn says as Liam puts her bag into her car for her and Zayn tries not to find that adorable. "You'll send your invoice to Harry, yeah?"

"Yeah, we're due a little shopping trip anyway." Lou climbs into her car and winds down the window. "Have fun, boys! Try not to get into too much mischief!"

They watch her out to the road, her arm still out waving furiously until she pulls out onto the main road and then it's just the two of them.

"Right, today you get to be both model and assistant, Liam," Zayn says, turning towards his car and opening up the trunk. He starts handing Liam bags and boxes for him to ferry over to the table. "You make a much better assistant than Harry so far, mate. Harry can barely be trusted with one thing to carry."

When all the stuff is out of the car, Zayn busies himself with setting up and orders Liam, who's hovering behind him and making Zayn anxious, to go make coffee. It gives Zayn enough time to set up for the pole shots and by the time Liam wanders back with two steaming cups of coffee, Zayn's calmer and ready.

"Alright, you're going to have to strip and change into your other trousers for this, with the braces hanging down." Zayn keeps his tone matter-of-fact and business-like. Liam puts his half-finished coffee down and starts stripping right in front of him; Zayn's jaw drops and business is the last thing he's thinking about. Liam shimmies out of his trousers and Zayn sees long, tanned legs with a light dusting of fair hair and he has to look away and swallow hard.

Just for a moment though because soon enough he sneaks another peek, relieved to find Liam now wearing trousers but he's tugging his shirt off and Zayn almost chokes on his coffee.

"Have you got baby oil on?" Zayn asks faintly. Liam's skin is almost glowing and it's suspiciously gleaming.

"No!" Liam's blushing hard. "I did some press ups while the kettle was boiling. Niall suggested it to make my body look better or something?"

"Like you need help with that," Zayn mutters under his breath. In a more normal voice, he asks Liam to stand in front of the pole. "Okay, just lift your arms above your head and wrap both your hands around the pole."

Liam complies and Zayn has to swallow hard at the way Liam's muscles flex and his abs tighten. "I'd break several bones if I went down the pole this way," he points out.

Zayn ignores him in the pursuit of creativity. "Now arch your back slightly - no not that much. Okay good, perfect. Tilt your head slightly to the left and look down at the floor."

Zayn lifts his camera up and looks down the lens. His breath catches but he takes the picture. It's perfect, but he takes a few more just in case.

"We're gonna breeze through this, Liam," Zayn says cheerfully when he puts the camera down. "You can relax now. One down, 11 to go."

"Okay," Liam murmurs, more to himself than Zayn. "Yeah, okay."

The day passes more quickly than Zayn thought it would. They talk a lot as Zayn tries to keep Liam distracted. They argue over Timberlake versus Usher and Toy Story versus Aladdin. Zayn doesn't get used to Liam being half-naked exactly, he just tries to ignore his own reaction to it. The shots where Liam stares down the camera lens are the worst, and Zayn finds himself disappearing to the loos in a vain attempt to calm himself down more often than he'd like. They finish in the station and head out to the fire engine where Zayn can be a bit more creative than the last shoot since it's just the two of them.

"You want me to climb onto the roof of the engine?" Liam asks dubiously.

Zayn gives him a gentle shove. "Put those muscles of yours to good use, Payne, and pull yourself up there."

He snaps a cheeky a cheeky shot of Liam from behind, muscles flexing and a grunt escaping Liam's lips as he hefts himself up.

Zayn wonders if it's creepy to keep it for his private collection.

They're out on the grass and Liam's lying on the ground, arms folded behind him and his helmet tilted forward, creating a shadow over his face when Zayn finally gives in and asks Liam how his date went.

"My date?" Liam asks, sounding drowsy. Zayn's moving around slowly, trying to find the best angle as he drops down to his knees and tries a lower shot.

"After we met at the coffee shop," Zayn reminds him. "Or have you been on so many you've forgotten?"

"Oh, my date," Liam says and his eyebrows knit together in a frown. "Yeah, uh, it turns out he's not really into me."

Zayn's torn between outrage and relief as he finally chooses his angle and takes the picture. "Is he crazy?" he asks dryly.

Liam starts to flush and Zayn snaps away, caught by the juxtaposition of Liam's sexy nonchalance pose and his embarrassed look. "No, he's great actually. He just didn't uh, I guess he thought we didn't click like that."

"Well, he's an idiot and you can do loads better." Zayn puts his camera down and offers Liam a hand up. "Alright, I've got eight good shots. We can do the rest in the studio next week if you just let me know when you're free."

"It'll just be me and you again, right?" Liam asks, dusting off his trousers before he glances at Zayn, looking unbearably shy and cute. He folds his arms across his chest, his fingers curling into his sides.

"Yeah, course," Zayn says softly. He offers Liam a slow, careful smile and reaches out to rub Liam's arm, giving in for just a moment to stroke his thumb over Liam's smooth skin. He's unbelievably warm, considering he's been shirtless for most of the day and Zayn fights the urge to move closer.

"Do you uh, fancy dinner?" Liam asks. "We could go to that new restaurant, the Italian? In town?"

It sounds like a date. It sounds like the kind of date Zayn would love to go on with Liam but he's done this before. And he cannot do it again.

He steps back and lets his hand fall away from Liam, his expression strained as he glances away from Liam's eager face. It doesn't mean what he wants it to mean, he tells himself and god, he needs to get out of there.

"I can't," he says, a little desperately. He turns and starts gathering his stuff up, blindly reaching for equipment as he rushes around. "Sorry Liam, I just can't. I've got uh, plans."

"Oh," Liam says, and Zayn must be imagining the disappointment he thinks he hears in Liam's tone. "Oh of course, yeah that's fine. Maybe another time."

"Yeah, definitely." Zayn needs to go. Now. He practically throws his incredibly expensive equipment into the car like it's an old football kit bag and turns to find Liam standing right in front of him. "Um, okay. I'll see you next week then, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll text you," Liam says slowly. He's frowning and staring at Zayn like he's trying to work something out and Zayn practically pushes his way past Liam to get the fuck out of there. He's probably got his feelings written all over his face and he can't bear this.

"Thanks for today." Zayn unlocks the door and slides inside. "Have a good night, Liam."

"You too, Zayn." Liam steps back and watches Zayn reverse out of the space. Zayn can't even bring himself to check in his mirrors as he pulls away and turns his music right up until he can't think anymore.

He gets home and he absently strokes Tiger who meets him at the door. But he's tense and restless and Tiger soon scoots off as Zayn paces in his kitchen. He's spent all day watching Liam walking around shirtless and he's fucking _hard_.

He needs a cold fucking shower.

Zayn strips as he climbs the stairs, throwing his clothes into a messy pile on the bedroom floor as he stalks into the shower. He flicks the switch and steps under shockingly cold water, shivering before it starts warming up. Zayn leans forward, his palms flat against the cold shower tiles as he lets the spray cascade over his body. And when he closes his eyes, he sees Liam, shirtless with a thin sheen of sweat over his toned, broad chest and his dick twitches helplessly.

"Fuck," Zayn mutters, pushing his hair back with his hand and tipping his face into the spray. His body aches with frustration and need and god he just needs to get some fucking relief. Just this once, he swears silently, hating himself a little even as he slides a hand down his slick wet torso. He takes himself in hand, hissing at how hard he's throbbing and gives himself a quick stroke.

Zayn pictures Liam staring down the camera, eyes hooded and mouth tilted into a half smile. He'd asked Liam to wrap the hose around his broad shoulders and he was holding it as suggestively as Zayn could make it within Liam's comfort zone. Large, capable hands had wrapped around that hose and Zayn imagines those hands wrapped around his dick.

He swears as a sharp ache hit him square in the belly.

Zayn squeezes the base of his dick and whimpers, his hips jerking up helplessly. The image in his mind shifts to Liam's face, warm and open and inviting. Beautiful brown eyes encourage him and Zayn strokes himself again, just once. Just hard enough. He pictures himself stroking Liam's face, cupping his jaw and letting his thumb rub gently over Liam's lips.

Zayn whimpers, thumbing over his slit as he pictures Liam's plump bottom lip. A mouth made for sin, Zayn thinks breathlessly. He's panting now, his hand working over his dick gently. His thumb trails along the underside and he hisses at the sensation. Zayn leans heavily on the hand holding him up against the tiles as he starts jerking harder. The image shifts to Liam on his knees, looking up at Zayn with big, adoring eyes, begging to be fed Zayn's dick. The image is as startlingly clear as any of his photographs and Zayn wonders if Liam would be like that. Desperate for Zayn's cock. It's almost too much and Zayn has to slow down his hand before he comes too soon because he's too needy at the thought of Liam begging for his dick. He tries to breathe normally even though his heart is pounding in his chest, loud and unforgiving.

His hand reaches lower to cup his balls and he squeezes gently before moving back to his shaft and stroking with intent. He's picturing Liam spread out on white cotton sheets, his eyes hazy with need and reaching for Zayn. Zayn twists his hand, squeezing just as he turns and he swears as he comes, thick streams of white coating his fist as he pumps himself through it, gasping and whimpering and whispering Liam's name silently.

Zayn just stands there under the hot spray and draws ragged, painful breaths. He lets the water wash away the evidence but the guilt threatens to drag him under. He can't do this again.

He scrubs his body clean, until he's red-raw and achingly sore. He feels wrecked and ashamed and his skin feels like it's on fire. Zayn eventually drags himself out of the shower and viciously rubs himself dry with a towel.

And when he climbs into bed, it takes forever for him to fall asleep.

*

Zayn wakes up feeling as wretched as he did when he fell asleep. He takes the quickest shower he can manage before running a towel gently over damp hair. He pulls on a pair of joggers and an old band t-shirt and heads downstairs for breakfast.

He's just finished his bowl of weetabix when his doorbell rings, startling him into dropping his empty bowl in the sink. Zayn wipes his damp hands on his joggers and curses Harry for dropping by unannounced. And while it's tempting to ignore it and pretend he's still asleep, Zayn finds himself heading for the door anyway.

He pulls it open and freezes in astonishment. Liam's standing there, hands in his pockets and looking shy and nervous. Zayn's heart thuds loudly and he wonders for a brief, panicked moment if Liam knows what he did last night. What he was thinking while he jerked off. His gaze travels down weakly to Liam's mouth before he realises what he's doing and he pulls back immediately.

"Liam?" Zayn says roughly before he clears his throat.

Liam's gaze changes, zeroing in on Zayn and becoming more focused. "Hi Zayn, sorry to just pop round uninvited. Uh,Harry gave me your address."

Zayn's seriously debating whether to kill Harry or kiss him. "Did you need something? Did I forget something yesterday?"

"Kind of," Liam says. He glances past Zayn and his smile curves wider. "Nice place you've got."

"Oh, yeah thanks," Zayn says, stepping back slightly. "Do you wanna come in?"

"Maybe in a minute," Liam says, and Zayn wonders if Liam's been taking lessons in how to be confusing from Harry.

"Okay," he says bemused. And then he just waits, because Liam's obviously got a reason for being here and Zayn figures he'll explain in his own time.

"So I had a really nice time yesterday, except for the whole half-naked pictures thing," Liam says, crinkling his nose and grinning and looking far too adorable for Zayn's liking. "And I just wanted to come over and ask you something."

"Okay," Zayn says again. "Are you sure you don't wanna come in, mate?"

"Not yet." Liam's grin fades a little and he clears his throat. "I wanted to ask if you like me."

Zayn blinks slowly, frowning. "Yeah?"

"No, I mean. Like, do you _like_ me?" Liam asks and suddenly Zayn can't breathe. "Because sometimes I think you like me. Like, we have these moments. And I think this is it, that you do like me. And then you'll leave, or you'll flirt with everyone in the room except for me. And I'm just confused, because I really like you, Zayn. I really, really like you."

Zayn's stunned. He can't move because he's frozen in place. Liam likes him, he thinks a bit hysterically. Liam likes him so much that he came over to ask Zayn if he might like Liam.

Zayn’s in stunned silence for so long that Liam's face starts to fall. Liam takes a step back, his face flushed and his shoulders hunching up.

"No," Zayn says wildly, reaching out and just grabbing whatever he can get hold of. Which turns out to be a fistful of Liam's shirt. Zayn yanks hard, and laughs breathlessly when Liam stumbles forward, crashing into Zayn and sending them stumbling into the house. Zayn twists and falls back against the wall, Liam's hands landing on the wall either side of his shoulders.

The door slams loudly next to them and they just stand there, their faces inches away from each other, breathing heavily.

"No," Zayn repeats, both hands tightening their grip around Liam's shirt material. "Don't leave."

"M'not," Liam murmurs. His eyes are wide and fixed on Zayn's. "M'not leaving."

Zayn tugs hard again, tipping his head back so he can meet Liam's mouth. Their lips slide together and Zayn feels every part of his body come alive as he thinks _finally_. Liam's hands settle on his waist and his fingers dig absently into Zayn's skin. Zayn whimpers, his hips arching ever-so-slightly into Liam's touch. His own hands loosen around Liam's shirt so he can press their chests together. He needs to be closer. He needs to have Liam's hands on his skin, marking him and leaving a reminder that Liam was here, that Liam wanted him.

As the kiss deepens, Zayn trails his hands up over Liam's broad, solid chest and his neck, before he can finally bury them in Liam's carefully styled hair. He tugs, gently at first then slightly harder as Liam starts making delicious noises at the back of his throat, guttural and needy and everything Zayn's ever wanted to hear. He's barely aware that Liam's kicking off his boots and shrugging out of his jacket.

He draws each sound out of Liam carefully with hard, eager kisses. And Liam draws the same sounds out of him with hands that slip under Zayn's shirt and press against his back, making Zayn arch towards Liam. Liam tastes like mint and freshly baked bread, sharp and sweet and so intoxicating that Zayn feels himself getting drunk on the taste. He can feel how hard Liam is against his thigh and he bites down hard on Liam's bottom lip, laughing breathlessly when Liam whines quietly, breaking the kiss to bury his face into Zayn's neck.

Zayn shivers as Liam breathes hotly against his skin and he trails his fingers down Liam's spine and back up again.

"Wanted this for so long," Zayn murmurs when he can speak again. His wandering hands drop down to linger at the waistband of Liam's jeans and his thumb dips below, caught between warm skin and rough denim. He traces a path around Liam's hips, hearing Liam's breath hitch when Zayn's fingers finally rest against Liam's belly, tantalisingly close to where Liam's straining against his jeans.

Because of him.

Zayn takes a deep, shuddering breath to steady himself. Then he slowly unbuttons Liam's jeans and pulls the zip down, feeling every single ragged breath Liam takes against his neck.

"Wanted you for so long," Zayn whispers before he's sliding his hand under Liam's cotton boxers and closing around Liam's dick. He drags in his own painful breath as he gets used to the feel and weight of Liam in his hand, throbbing and so, so hard. Liam presses an open mouthed kiss to the sensitive arch of his neck, tugging his shirt down slightly so Liam can mouth at his collarbone.

"Me too." It's faint but Zayn hears it. He hears the need and the strain in Liam's voice. Zayn pushes against his chest, forcing Liam to stumble back as Zayn moves with him until Liam's back is against the wall. Zayn cups Liam's jaw and draws him back to kiss him hard before he drops to his knees. He hooks his fingers around Liam's jeans and boxers and yanks hard, bringing them both down and Liam steps out of them unsteadily while he tugs his shirt off over his head.

Zayn glances up at Liam, who's watching him with hooded eyes and Zayn runs his hands slowly up Liam's legs. "I've liked you for so long," Zayn confesses roughly.

Liam reaches down to trail his thumb over Zayn's cheek before he cups Zayn's jaw. Zayn leans into the caress, eyes closed.

"Didn't think you liked me, actually," Zayn admits. It's easier with his eyes closed. He thinks he could confess just about anything like this, with Liam's strong, warm hand against his cheek, his thumb rubbing idly across Zayn's stubble.

"How could anyone not like you?" Liam asks softly. Disbelievingly.

Zayn whimpers, turning his face so he can press his lips into the palm of Liam's hand.

"You're so beautiful, Zayn," Liam murmurs and Zayn freezes. He can't help it. He's done this before, fallen into something with someone who only wants him for his looks. Zayn's not stupid, he knows what he looks like and he knows why he gets second, sometimes third looks from people in the street or at bars or when he's at work.

"So beautiful," Liam says again, tilting Zayn's face up so he's looking at Liam. "You're smart and fun and silly and you're a bigger dork than I am. Everyone likes you, Zayn. I like you. So much."

"Yeah?" Zayn croaks out.

"So much," Liam whispers.

Zayn shudders slightly and then he's turning his face and moving his hand to grip Liam's dick where he's still hard and leaking slightly. He leans in and breathes in Liam's scent, pleased when Liam twitches in his hand.

Zayn gives him a long, hard stroke that makes Liam groan and throw his head back against the wall. Grinning, Zayn closes his lips around the tip of Liam's dick, letting his tongue swirl around Liam's slit, tasting him, bitter and _Liam_.

He's vaguely aware that Liam's slid his hands into Zayn's hair and is cupping his head but he's distracted by the feel of Liam's cock, heavy and warm on his tongue. He sucks gently, eyes closed as he hums happily around Liam. His hand is still on the base of Liam's dick and he pumps Liam slowly into his own mouth, drawing more choked sounds from Liam that go straight to his dick.

Zayn presses the heel of his hand down on his crotch to stave off his own orgasm because he wants to make Liam come first. He wants to hear every sound Liam makes and learn what he likes best. So he starts cataloguing sounds, from the whimper Liam makes when Zayn's fingertips ghost over Liam's balls to the low, filthy moan that escapes Liam's lips when Zayn swallows Liam down whole, his throat contracting around Liam and making him choke just a little.

"Zayn, m'gonna come," Liam says desperately when Zayn's deepthroated him. He tugs on Zayn's hair, forcing him back but Zayn whines, desperate to feel Liam's come hit the back of his throat and taste all of him. "Oh fuck," Liam groans, and he pushes forward into Zayn's mouth and Zayn whimpers happily, his mouth stretched wide and aching in the best way.

"Look at me," Liam says hoarsely. "Zayn. Fuck, please."

Zayn opens his eyes and looks up. He's aware of how he must look, fucked out and desperate and _hungry_.

Zayn's name is on Liam's lips when he comes, hot and sharp and bitter in Zayn's mouth. He swallows greedily, sucking eagerly on Liam's dick when he's spent until Liam pushes him away weakly and falls to his knees in front of Zayn.

One hand down his own joggers, Zayn's stroking himself off quickly, already on the edge from watching Liam come. He's got the taste of Liam on his lips and in his mouth, feeling his senses. He growls in frustration when Liam knocks his hand away only to replace it with his own. His head drops onto Liam's shoulder and he rocks up into Liam's warm, firm grip. Liam's jerking him off hard and fast, leaving him no time to catch his breath. He feels himself tightening up embarrassingly fast before he's coming over Liam's fist, gasping and shaking as Liam's arm wraps around him and holds him up when all he wants to do is collapse onto Liam's chest and never, ever leave.

When Zayn can lift his head, he's greeted with the sight of Liam's come-covered fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. Zayn groans and feels his dick twitch with interest. "No fair," he mumbles.

Liam laughs softly before he pulls back. Zayn whines in protest before he realises Liam's trying to pull Zayn up too. Liam's clothes are scattered everywhere and he's totally naked while Zayn's fully clothed. Zayn turns his face into Liam's neck and grins.

"Uh, Zayn? There's a cat staring at us and I think he might be a bit traumatised," Liam murmurs.

Zayn lifts his head and follows Liam's gaze to find Tiger peering around the door, his head resting on his paws and his eyes wide and unblinking.

Zayn starts laughing and he can feel Liam shaking too, laughing with him.

"So um, I don't have to go to work until five," Liam says eventually. He sounds a bit unsure and there's a question in his voice.

But Zayn's tired of guessing games and feeling miserable and not having Liam in his bed, so he tugs Liam in for a hard, bruising kiss before he reaches for Liam's hand and pulls him up the stairs. Liam's other hand settles on Zayn's hip and he crowds up behind him.

"Bed," Zayn gasps when Liam's mouth dips to Zayn's shoulder to bite down and they stumble into Zayn's room, almost missing the bed entirely when they fall together in a heap amongst tangled sheets.

They're both too tired and drained to do anything more than kiss, and Liam slowly strips Zayn of his clothes. He trails kisses all over Zayn's body, learning his tattoos and making Zayn squirm as his dick tries to get interested in Liam's very focused attention. Zayn returns the favour, learning every curve and angle of Liam's body and tracing his own tattoos, which aren't as extensive as Zayn's but Zayn loves each new one that he finds. By the time they're both hard again, it's all they can do to slowly grind against each other. Zayn scrambles in his bedside table for lube and slicks both of them up. Liam's hands are steady on Zayn's hips as he urges Zayn to rock against him. It's achingly slow and this time, Zayn keeps his eyes open and steady on Liam. Liam's own gaze is warm and resolute. Zayn comes first, hot white stripes splashing against their bellies and it's barely seconds later that Liam comes too and Zayn can't hold himself up any longer. He collapses onto Liam's chest and presses a lazy kiss to Liam's throat. Liam's hand strokes up and down Zayn's back lazily and Zayn's almost lulled to sleep by the even motion of Liam's breathing.

"Shower," Liam says eventually, sounding reluctant.

Zayn shakes his head and wraps his arms around Liam's neck to cling to him.

"C'mon," Liam urges him, laughing softly. "Need to clean you up and then we can have a nap, okay?"

"M'kay," Zayn murmurs. He doesn't move though and Liam has to slide out of bed and half carry, half-drag Zayn to the shower. Zayn perks up when the hot spray hits him and Liam starts washing him carefully with soapy water. Zayn's too tired to return the favour, although he watches with interest as Liam washes himself. Then Liam rinses them both off before he steps out and wraps a towel around Zayn and grabs one for himself. Zayn manages to dry himself before he's being guided back to bed and he grumbles until he's back in his new favourite position; which is to say draped over Liam's chest, his palm flat against Liam's chest and his face nuzzled into the curve of Liam's neck.

"Don't go anywhere," Zayn mutters sleepily.

"M'not," Liam assures him, sounding drowsy too. "M'not going anywhere."

Zayn's lips curve slightly and he drifts off into an exhausted sleep.

*

They order takeout when they finally get up and eat downstairs on the sofa. Zayn changes into clean joggers and lends Liam another pair before he decides that having Liam lounging around in his living room shirtless is either terrible or the best idea he's ever had. Either way, their food is cold by the time they finish eating and Liam's got two angry, beautiful Zayn-shaped lovebites on his neck and Zayn's hair is sticking out in a million different directions.

"I've gotta get going," Liam says. He's dressed in his own clothes again and they're standing by Zayn's front door.

It hasn't been awkward since Zayn dragged Liam into his house about seven hours ago but now Liam's going and Zayn doesn't know what this is. Or was.

"Have a good shift," is what Zayn settles for. "Say hi to Louis and Niall for me."

"They'll spend the entire night teasing me," Liam says, sounding thoroughly pleased about it as he gestures towards his lovebites. Then he leans in and Zayn sighs against Liam's lips when they press against his. He wraps his arms around Liam's neck and holds him close. "You should text me," Liam mumbles against his lips. Zayn doesn't open his eyes but he nods, pleased and goes back to attacking Liam's mouth. He figures if Liam's gonna get teased about his appearance, the least Zayn can do is make sure Liam looks thoroughly debauched. "During my shift, I mean. And after. Tomorrow. You should text me tomorrow."

"Mmhmm."

"And I could come over tomorrow, if you're free. We could have dinner and I could stay over. I'm free the day after if you wanted to do the rest of those pictures."

"Mmhmm."

Liam laughs and Zayn finds himself being manhandled back against the wall. Liam kisses him until they're both breathless and Zayn's achingly hard, trying to find some friction against Liam's thigh, rutting helplessly against him.

Then Liam's pulling back, grinning wickedly and Zayn wants to throw something at him. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Zayn growls even as Liam's reaching for the door handle.

"You should text me," Liam says, glancing down at Zayn's crotch pointedly before he's gone, the door clicking shut behind him and Zayn bangs his head back against the wall.

Zayn sends an obscene number of dick pictures to Liam before he finally sends a selfie of him lying in bed, flushed slightly pink from exertion and much more relaxed. Liam responds with filthy messages that surprise him in both their eloquence and detail.

All in all, it's been a surprising and totally satisfying day.

*

Zayn cooks. Well, he makes pasta which is the extent of his cooking abilities, and he's added a readymade sauce which he definitely counts as cooking. It might end up a little burnt because Liam arrives while it's on the hob and Zayn might have pressed Liam up against the counter to kiss him senseless, but it's edible. Just about.

Later, after they've had a beer and watched telly and Liam's met Tiger officially, Zayn learns that Liam gives great blowjobs. It turns out that Liam's mouth really is made for dick, and that Liam applies himself to bringing Zayn off as seriously as Zayn's seen him tackle anything else. And afterwards, Zayn lies back and lets Liam come all over his chest and belly even though Liam's a little embarrassed about the whole thing afterwards.

"You must have done it before though," Zayn says as he wipes himself clean in the bathroom.

Liam's behind him so he can see in the mirror when Liam shrugs before he shakes his head. "Never really um, came up?"

Zayn fights a grin. "So why did you want to with me?"

"I dunno." Liam's flushing though and he's avoiding Zayn's gaze so he lets it pass for the moment. But Zayn makes a silent promise to himself to indulge each and every sexual thing Liam wants to try.

"Well, I thought it was hot," Zayn tells him, turning around and reaching for Liam's hands to drag him closer. "So if you want to do that again, it's alright with me, okay?"

"Alright," Liam says gruffly.

Zayn leads him to bed. Liam climbs under the covers and drags Zayn up against his back. "You wanna be the little spoon?" Zayn asks in surprise.

"Yeah, is that okay?" Liam asks quietly.

"Course it is," Zayn says immediately. He settles down behind Liam, his chest pressed up against Liam's back and wraps an arm around Liam's waist. Liam holds onto his hand and laces their fingers together. Zayn kisses Liam's shoulder and buries his head into the back of Liam's neck. It's been a while since he's slept with someone else. Almost a year, in fact. He'll probably wake up a million times in the middle of the night, and he'll discover Liam's bad habits like being a cover thief or a kicker, but he's too content to care right now because Liam's in his bed. Finally. "G'night Liam."

"Night, Zayn," Liam mumbles.

Zayn yawns quietly and closes his eyes, drifting surprisingly easily off to sleep.

*

Zayn discovers that Liam gets up stupidly early. He blearily glances at the alarm clock when Liam starts moving around and promptly closes his eyes when he realises it's not even eight o'clock.

"Going out for a run," Liam murmurs and Zayn blindly reaches out to find his keys and throws them in the general direction of the door.

"Let yo'self back in," Zayn mumbles into his pillow. "Gold key."

When he next wakes up, it's past nine o'clock which is still stupidly early but Liam's got his hand on Zayn's dick and he's stroking Zayn towards a humiliatingly quick orgasm.

"You should stay every night," Zayn says around a yawn when they stumble into the bathroom together. Liam strips off his sweats and climbs into the shower while Zayn brushes his teeth, his eyes drifting towards Liam more often than not.

"Hey," Liam yells over the sound of the shower. "What about hair and makeup?"

Zayn rinses his mouth before he turns to slide into the shower, making Liam yelp when he plasters himself to Liam's back and trails his hands appreciatively over Liam's very photogenic abdominal muscles. "Don't tell me you're going all diva on me after two photoshoots."

Liam laughs, turning to wrap his wet, strong arms around Zayn and he spins them around so Zayn's directly under the spray. It flattens his hair against his head and Zayn shoots Liam an unimpressed look as he grips Liam's arms for balance.

"Yeah, I'm a diva," Liam says cheerfully. "I'd like Lou to come over every day to dress me and put powder on my face and attack me with those little weapons of hers."

"They're called tweezers, babe, and you need them," Zayn says as he finds his feet and reaches up to stroke Liam's eyebrows with his thumbs. "She'll be here in like, half an hour so relax, Liam."

An hour later, they're in the studio and Zayn's setting up while Liam tries not to get in his way. But Liam can't help asking lots of questions about what Zayn's doing and it takes him twice as long to get everything ready. Zayn doesn't mind though. He doesn't mind when he gets Liam in position for the first shot, stripped to the waist and sitting on a plain wooden chair, and takes one shot before he's putting the camera down and climbing onto Liam's lap to kiss him.

"Wanna make sure we get the rumpled look right," he murmurs against Liam's lips. His hands are totally ruining the artistically messy look Lou gave to Liam's hair earlier but Zayn prefers his own handiwork anyway. And when Zayn finally picks up the camera again, Liam looks thoroughly ruined. His lips are pinker than usual, bruised and plump. His skin is flushed and he can't look at the camera without smiling, looking content and satisfied, so that's the shot Zayn takes.

It's going to send sales through the roof.

Zayn thinks he might have actually stumbled on something though. So before the next shot, Zayn pretends to be smoothing Liam's hair out with one hand while his other trails down Liam's neck and down to his chest. And then he drops to the floor and his hands unzip Liam's trousers.

"Hey, it's not that kind of shoot," Liam says with an unsteady laugh.

Zayn laughs as he frees Liam's cock and strokes it reverently. "Oh I know," he says throatily. "This one's just for me."

The shots Zayn takes of Liam after his particularly spectacular blowjob are incredible. Liam looks half-drunk on sex and the camera catches every nuance.

And the shots Zayn gets of Liam after he's just blown Zayn are just as good, if not better. Zayn's also slowly realising that this Liam isn't shy at all. He's confident and sexy and before the last shot of the day, Liam's got Zayn pinned up against the wall, kissing the life out of him before he takes his position, leaving Zayn trembling and needing a moment before he can pick up the camera.

It's difficult to merge the two different sides of Liam together. The shy and nervous and embarrassed Liam and the confident, eager, enthusiastic Liam. But he's seen both of them. The camera has caught both of them.

Zayn's caught both of them and he's had both of them in his bed. He's tasted both sides of Liam. And he's hooked.

"Just one more, babe," Zayn murmurs as he resets the camera, smiling when he sees Liam's lips curve up at the endearment. This one will just be for his own collection.

*

Harry appears on his doorstep two days later brandishing homemade sandwiches and what Zayn thinks is homemade lemonade.

"Enjoying your time off then?" Zayn asks when Harry comes out of his kitchen carrying two plates piled high with food in one hand and two glasses in the other.

"While it lasts, at least," Harry says cheerfully, passing Zayn his plate and dropping down next to him on the sofa. "I've been experimenting with a few dishes and I'm getting pretty good, Niall says."

"Niall's getting regular blowjobs and sex, you could make him a sandwich of ash and he'd think it was the best thing ever," Zayn says mildly. He frowns at his plate. "What is this? Paprika? Is that what you call a garnish?"

"Don't mock it until you've tried it," Harry says with a pout.

Zayn polishes off his sandwich pretty quickly. His appetite has been larger recently, probably due to all the sex he's been having lately. Liam's stayed over for the past three nights in a row and Zayn's lost count of how many times Liam's hand or mouth has been on his dick.

"So, how's things with Liam then?" Harry asks when he's washed up their plates and he's curled up facing Zayn on the sofa. "Niall says Liam's been practically dancing through shifts recently. That wouldn't have anything to do with you then would it Zaynie?"

"Dunno what you're talking about." Zayn stretches out on the sofa and props his legs up on Harry's lap. He allows himself the tiniest of smiles though.

"Have you or have you not been letting a certain fireman warm up your bed recently?"

"Maybe," Zayn allows. He opens one eye and peers at Harry, who's looking smug and awful. "He might have stayed over the past few nights."

In idle moments Zayn wonders if it's too much. It's been less than a week since Zayn dragged Liam into the house and kissed him and yet Liam's fitted too neatly into his life. Zayn had found Liam's toothbrush upstairs next to his own, and he knows it's no big deal because Liam's coming back over tonight after his shift and a quick detour home to feed the dog and change his clothes. But still. Liam's toothbrush was next to his. And he knows Liam's left a shirt or two here and he knows Liam's gonna smell like him all day because he used Zayn's toiletries this morning before he'd left the house. Zayn had still been in bed but he'd caught a whiff of himself on Liam when Liam had pressed a kiss to his temple before Liam had left.

"Well, finally!" Harry's beaming widely and Zayn feels the need to kick him gently in the belly. "Oof, hey! Oh, so when can we go on a double date then? Does Liam like nice restaurants? Or no, did he take you out for something more energetic for your first date? Niall took me to the cinema for our first date which was like, perfect."

"Yeah, if you're twelve," Zayn mutters darkly. He and Liam haven't even discussed dates. Or dating at all. They've mostly been too busy trying to rip each other's clothes off and figuring out who can get the other off faster. Maybe they should talk about what they're actually doing together, whether it's just sex, something casual or something more serious than that. Except Zayn feels a bit awkward bringing it up while Liam's toothbrush is upstairs by the sink next to his. He thinks that maybe he's just supposed to know, like other people do. "No double dates," he says firmly. Not at least until he knows if he and Liam are actually dating or whether they're just fucking around. "But we could go out the five of us, if you like. To that bar."

"Only if you promise to disappear and start dancing with random girls and guys while Liam mopes on Louis' shoulder all night, watching you and pretending that he's not." Harry's waggling a finger at him that Zayn catches in his own hand. "You owe us for that night, buddy of mine."

Zayn just rolls his eyes and kicks Harry off the sofa.

*

Zayn and Harry's days get busy very quickly. He doesn't see Liam for a few days and when he finally does, it's the night Harry's arranged for them all to go out. Harry and Zayn get there first for once and order a round.

"They're here!" Harry's bouncing on his seat and rushes off to smother Niall in kisses. Zayn stays where he is and shares an eye roll with Louis when he sits down.

"Thank god you're not like them," Louis says loudly but Niall and Harry are too busy to hear him.

"Hey babe," Liam says, sliding into the chair next to Zayn. He leans in to kiss Zayn and it's a bit awkward because of Louis' comment and Zayn doesn't know what they're doing in front of the others and what they're not doing. So he half turns and Liam's lips wind up on his cheek.

"Hey," Zayn manages to say, flushing as he avoids Liam's gaze. "How was work then?"

"Payno literally rescued a cat from a tree today, didn't you Liam?" Louis says before he takes a long drink from his glass. "Proper firefighting, that is."

"She was stuck," Liam says with a frown, staring at Zayn.

"Very heroic," Zayn tells him. His hand lifts from the table and he's about to pat Liam's knee in commiseration. But Zayn stops himself, unsure, and lets his hand drop back onto the table.

"Hey," Liam says, leaning in towards Zayn when Niall and Harry eventually join them and the other three are loudly arguing over who's round it is next."Everything alright?"

"Perfect," Zayn says. He wraps his hands around his drink so he's not tempted to drag Liam in for a kiss because he hasn't seen Liam in two days and he's a bit terrified of how much he's missed him. "You?"

"Yeah, you just seem a bit, uh, distracted," Liam says hesitantly, and Zayn wonders if Liam had intended to use a different word.

"Just remembering how awful I was last time we were here." It's not exactly a lie because Zayn does feel shit about it. He's also not prepared to have the relationship conversation here in the crowded bar either. "I really am sorry about that night, Liam."

"Hey, just a misunderstanding, yeah?" Liam says cautiously.

Zayn nods slowly. "Hey, you're coming back to mine, yeah?"

Liam's smile brightens. "Yeah, if you want me to."

"Course I do," Zayn says gruffly. He sneaks a quick look at the others who are still engrossed in their argument and he rolls his eyes at them before he turns back to Liam and reaches out to squeeze his hand gently. "Gonna make it up to you properly. For last time we were here. You were the only one I wanted to take home that night, Liam."

Liam flushes bright pink and Zayn really, really wants to kiss him. But Louis' getting up to go to the bar and Zayn leans back into his seat, his hand dropping back onto his own thigh.

And he ignores the confused look Harry's giving him.

Just before they head home, Harry drags him off for a quiet word. "Alright, what's going on?" Harry asks, folding his arms across his chest.

"Nothing," Zayn says as convincingly as he can. He curls his hands around Harry's wrists and tugs, forcing them down to his sides. "Stop trying to meddle, okay?"

"Only if you promise to talk to Liam and sort out whatever the problem is," Harry says, turning his wrists so he can tangle his fingers with Zayn's. "Because this isn't you. You like being cuddled. And I'd bet Liam does too. So sort it out or I will start meddling."

"You don't scare me," Zayn lies outrageously. "Now stop worrying about me and Liam, okay?"

Harry sighs but he nods, and they wander back to where Niall and Liam are playfighting and Louis' on his phone.

"Alright, since you're all going home to have sexy fun times, I'm off," Louis declares loudly.

"You mean El's letting you go round to hers," Niall translates, shoving Liam away from him with a laugh and slinging his arm around Harry's shoulders.

"She is an angel and I won't have a word said against her," Louis says smartly. He's off before anyone can protest though.

"He's so whipped, that one," Niall says with an exaggerated sigh. "Well, lads, it's been fun but I've got to get this one to bed before he starts humping me leg, yeah?"

"Hey, you said you liked when I did that," Harry says seriously.

Niall drags him away, both of them laughing into each other as they go.

Which just leaves him and Liam.

Zayn kisses him, hard and quick, pulling back before Liam can really kiss him back. "Home?" Zayn says hopefully.

"Yeah," Liam agrees eagerly. "Taxi?"

The taxi ride home is challenging because all Zayn wants to do is climb into Liam's lap and snog him senseless. He settles for a hand on Liam's thigh and Liam's arm around his shoulders.

When the taxi's paid and they're inside though, Zayn's spinning Liam around and kissing him like he's been starved for Liam's touch. Liam's hands are everywhere, undressing Zayn with quick, clever fingers as they stagger upstairs. Zayn's too worked up to even try to undo Liam's buttons, and he's vaguely wondering whether he can just rip them away when Liam pins Zayn against the wall and yanks his shirt up over his head.

"Fuck, I've missed your fucking body," Zayn says breathlessly as his eyes rake down Liam's sculpted chest.

Liam laughs, low and throaty as he kicks out of his jeans and presses up against Zayn's body.. Liam's nuzzling into Zayn's neck and Zayn's shivering at the feel of Liam's unshaven cheek against his skin. He trails his hands up Liam's back all the way up to his hair where he buries his fingers.

Then he tugs. Hard.

He means to tip Liam's head back so Zayn can kiss him the way he's been craving to; filthy and sloppy and hard.

He isn't expecting Liam's low, desperate moan. He's not expecting Liam to go rigid against him. He isn't expecting the way Liam ruts helplessly against his thigh, hard and heavy, and he's really not expecting the way Liam's eyes go unfocused or his lips part invitingly.

"Fuck," Zayn whispers. He tugs Liam's hair again experimentally and there's that low moan again.

Taking advantage of Liam's momentary immobility, Zayn turns so now he's got Liam up against the wall. He's watching Liam carefully. He places his hands, palms down, on Liam's chest and presses down lightly. Liam settles his hands on Zayn's hips and keeps his gaze steady on Zayn.

"You liked it when I pulled your hair," Zayn murmurs and he slides his hands down Liam's torso. He lingers over Liam's abdominal muscles because he really has missed them and then he slides his hands back up to Liam's shoulders. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Liam's lips before he trails his lips down Liam's throat.

Then he grips Liam's waist and slowly turns him around until he's facing the wall and Zayn presses up against him, groaning when his hard dick presses between Liam's cheeks so temptingly.

"Hands on the wall babe, yeah?" Zayn whispers in his ear. He feels Liam's body shiver but he lifts his hands and places them flat against the wall. Zayn takes half a step back and runs his hand down Liam's spine and over the curve of his arse before he hooks his fingers into the waistband of Liam's boxers. He slowly pulls them down, kneeling to help Liam step out of them on unsteady legs. Then he trails his fingers up the back of Liam's legs, laughing softly when Liam's legs buckle for a second as Zayn's fingers ghost over Liam's thighs. "I got you, babe, yeah?"

"Y-yeah," Liam falters. He leans back, sighing when Zayn's arms close around him and his hands lie flat on Liam's belly.

Zayn moves one of his hands upwards, sliding up Liam's chest and throat until he reaches Liam's mouth. He rubs his thumb teasingly over Liam's bottom lip and laughs when Liam's tongue flicks out to catch him. "Hey, behave yourself," Zayn murmurs before he slips a finger into Liam's mouth.

Liam's tongue swirls around his finger. "Mmm, good boy," Zayn says encouragingly. He slides his finger out, pleased when Liam whines at the loss before he pushes his finger back in. Liam sucks greedily and his back arches into Zayn. Zayn grinds his crotch against Liam's arse, making Liam moan around his finger.

Zayn drops his head onto Liam's shoulder and he slides a second finger into Liam's eager mouth. Liam's making the most obscene noises, slick and wet and desperate as Zayn keeps a steady pace.

His other hand slides down slowly. Liam's abdominal muscles jerk under his touch and Zayn whispers soothing noises as his hand dips lower. He wraps his hand around Liam's hard dick and contracts his hand around Liam's shaft. He hears Liam's moan and he presses closer so Liam can feel how hard Zayn is against his arse.

Zayn strokes Liam gently, his fingers still sliding in and out of Liam's mouth as he matches his own rhythm. Liam's moaning louder each time, his body fidgeting against Zayn's as he silently begs for more. Zayn complies, letting his thumb brush over Liam's slit, smeared with precome where he's leaking. Then he starts to jerk Liam off slowly.

"You're being too noisy babe," Zayn says softly. He slides a third finger into Liam's mouth and feels Liam's lips stretching around them. It has the beautiful effect of making Liam's moans more desperate while muffling them slightly and Zayn can't stop himself from rutting up against Liam's arse with each low, frantic whimper that Liam makes.

"God Liam I'm gonna make you come like this, yeah?" Zayn mutters in Liam's ear, grinding hard against Liam's arse. "You're so hot like this babe, so hot with my fingers in your mouth."

Liam nods but he keeps sucking hungrily, his tongue sliding desperately between Zayn's fingers.

Zayn's hand speeds up a little on Liam's dick, giving him a little squeeze every time his hand slides down to the base of Liam's dick.

"Gonna make you come so hard, babe," Zayn says, a little desperate himself. "Gonna come all over yourself, yeah Liam? Make a mess all over your beautiful body?"

Liam nods furiously and tries to take Zayn's fingers deeper into his mouth.

"So good," Zayn murmurs against Liam's neck where he's nosing at warm skin. His hands are moving faster, his hand tugging Liam's dick relentlessly, driven by the way Liam's bucking up into his fist.

Liam's head drops back onto his shoulder, exposing his throat to Zayn. Barely aware of what he's doing while he's fucking his fingers into Liam's mouth and jerking him off with a firm, sure hand, he bites down on the column of Liam's throat.

Liam's body arches like a strung bow and Zayn moans, rubbing his dick into Liam's arse and jerking him faster.

"You gonna come, babe?" he mutters hazily. "Gonna come for me, yeah? Want to see you come so bad. Wanna see you come all over yourself for me. Yeah?"

Zayn slips his fingers out of Liam's mouth just as he feels Liam tighten up in his arms.

"Zayn, fuck," Liam gasps before he comes with a jerk into Zayn's fist. Liam's arms tense where he's holding himself against the wall before he lets go and they tumble to the floor together, Liam still wrapped up in Zayn's arms.

Liam's trembling and gasping for breath, so Zayn strokes his hands against Liam's belly soothingly, smearing Liam's come all over his body because he's kind of a dick like that and he really, really wants to lick it off Liam. When Liam finally drags in a deep breath, Zayn shifts so that Liam's on his back and Zayn straddles his hips. His own dick is achingly hard, leaking and flushed and straining against his belly, but Zayn ignores his own needs and ducks down to lick a long, wet stripe up Liam's belly. The mix of bitter and salt and Liam's own scent is overwhelming and Zayn licks another stripe, eager for more.

When Liam's hands settle on his shoulders, his grip is weak and his hands are still trembling. Zayn glances up, a question in his eyes.

"Need you to come," Liam says, his voice scratchy and rough and unsteady.

"Me too," Zayn says with a shaky laugh. He reaches down to give himself a stroke and god he's so trigger ready he's gonna come in five seconds.

"Zayn," Liam murmurs. Zayn looks up to see Liam staring at him, flushed and beautiful. And nervous.

"What it is babe?" Zayn asks quietly. He strokes his hand down Liam's side gently and squeezes his hip. "You can tell me, yeah?"

"S'embarrassing," Liam whispers, barely audible.

"Babe, can you feel how hard I am?" Zayn says, grinding achingly slowly against Liam's thigh. He groans at the sensation. "Do you have any idea how hot it was to pin you against the wall and make you come on my fingers? I liked it as much as you did, babe. You don't have to be embarrassed, yeah? If you want me to do something, you can just ask, alright?"

Liam nods slowly and tugs Zayn up until they're shoulder to hip. Liam kisses him carefully, a hand cupped against Zayn's cheek that he leans into.

"Come on me," Liam mumbles against Zayn's lips.

Zayn jerks helplessly against him. "Okay," he says, pressing one more kiss to the corner of Liam's mouth before he lifts himself up, straddling Liam's hips. He gets a hand around himself and shudders as he slowly jerks himself off. Liam's gaze is warm as he watches Zayn stroking himself and Zayn shudders, helplessly enthralled by Liam.

"Come on me," Liam says again, his voice stronger this time.

"Yeah," Zayn pants. His body is stiffening and he's so close already. "Yeah, gonna come all over you, babe."

Liam's lips curve into a smile and he lifts his hand to his mouth. He slides two fingers into his mouth as Zayn stares, rapt.

Zayn comes with Liam's name on his lips, stripes of white falling across Liam's belly. He strokes himself through it until he can barely hold himself up, weak and shaking. Liam leans up and cups his hand around the back of Zayn's head, tugging him down to collapse against Liam, his head pillowed on Liam's chest.

"We're on the floor," Liam murmurs eventually. He fidgets a little but Zayn doesn't move. He's a complete deadweight on Liam and he has no intention of getting up anytime soon.

"Shhh," Zayn mumbles sleepily.

"There's a bed like, two feet away," Liam points out, amused. He's brushing Zayn's hair away from his face and Zayn feels a bit like purring in satisfaction. "Plus we need to shower because we're sticky and messy."

"I like being sticky and messy," Zayn mutters. "Sleep now."

Liam huffs out a laugh and before Zayn knows what's happening, he's flat on his back staring up at the ceiling. "What the fu-"

Liam's yanking him up and hauling him into the shower.

"This is terrible post-sex etiquette," Zayn grumbles as Liam washes him down.

"I promise I'll make it up to you in the morning," Liam says cheerfully.

"Yeah, you better," Zayn mutters.

Liam dries them both off and guides Zayn into bed. He doesn't even complain when Zayn shifts to drape himself over Liam's chest, his face buried into Liam's neck, which has become his favourite way to sleep lately.

"Gotta take some close ups of you, by the way," Zayn says drowsily. He's trailing his index finger over Liam's belly in no particular pattern. "For the calendar. We should do it in the morning."

"Yeah," Liam says, pulling Zayn closer. "Sleep now."

"Sleep now," Zayn agrees groggily. "Love sleep."

Liam's soft huff of laughter sends him off to sleep.

*

Liam's out of bed first, and he persuades Zayn to get up with a bribe of breakfast. Zayn finally comes downstairs, still rubbing at his eyes and yawning, his hair still damp from the shower, and Liam hands him a plate of eggs on toast and kisses his temple.

"Sit," Liam says, pointing to the kitchen table that's full of papers and bills. Zayn eyes it warily because he's never, ever sat at his kitchen table before. But he clears a space dutifully and takes a seat. "Eat. I'll make coffee. Then we'll do pictures, yeah?"

"I like it when you're all serious and bossy," Zayn mutters to himself. Judging by Liam's sharp look and raised eyebrow, Liam's hearing is better than Zayn assumed.

"Just eat your breakfast and have your coffee," Liam says mildly.

Zayn grins up at him around a mouthful of eggs.

They do actually manage to do the entire shoot without touching each other, so Zayn gets all the shots he needs. It feels strange to be in the same room as Liam now and not reach out to touch him, or press up against him, and Zayn spends the shoot worrying about how fast he's tumbling.

"Hey," Liam says, appearing in front of Zayn back in his normal clothes. His hair is rumpled and his face scrubbed clean, and he looks more like the Liam who shares his bed, rather than the Liam who's going to appear in thousands of homes for the next year.

Zayn tugs him close and wraps his arms around Liam's waist. "Hey," he murmurs softly.

"Hey, so I was thinking," Liam starts carefully before he pauses. Zayn doesn't hurry him though, and offers a small smile instead. "Yeah. I was thinking that maybe we could go out for dinner. Tonight. I could book somewhere, yeah?"

"Yeah," Zayn says too quickly, before he bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself blurting anything else out. He draws in a shaky breath. "Yeah, alright."

"Ace." Liam's mouth twists like he's fighting a smile. "So, I could pick you up after work, at like eight? And maybe we could go back to mine. I think Loki's forgotten what I look like."

"Yeah, sick." Zayn's face feels too hot and he might need some air.

"Okay, well I've gotta go or I'll be late," Liam says, sounding just a little reluctantly. But a glance at his watch has him wincing. He leans in to kiss Zayn slow and sweet, dragging a moan of protest from Zayn when he pulls back. "Sorry babe, but I'll pick you up, okay? Don't forget!"

Zayn watches him go and shoves his hands in his pockets to find his phone.

"Harry?" he says urgently when Harry picks up. "Liam just asked me out. On a date."

"That's nice," Harry says, sounding amused. "Considering you're dating and all."

"Except he didn't call it a date," Zayn says slowly as he recounts their conversation. "Just dinner. Fuck, what if it's not a date?"

"Oh my god, Zayn, I thought you were going to have the talk with him!"

"We uh, got distracted," Zayn mutters.

"Oh my GOD Zayn! Tell me everything!"

"Not a chance in hell, mate," Zayn says with a laugh before he sobers up quickly. "But seriously Harry. I don't think it is a date. He would have said the word date if it was a date, right?"

"No, and you're being ridiculous," Harry says dryly. "Of course it's a date."

By 7:52pm, Zayn's managed to convince himself that it's definitely not a date. And he doesn't want to get his hopes up again, not after last time. But he dresses nicely and makes sure his hair is artfully styled and he trims his facial hair a little just to tidy it up.

When he opens the door, Liam's standing there looking dapper in charcoal grey jeans and a white dress shirt. Zayn's mouth goes dry.

"We could just skip dinner, you know," Zayn says, his eyes raking down Liam's body.

Liam laughs softly and leans in to kiss Zayn's cheek. It's sweet and it's soft and Zayn still doesn't know if this is a date.

Liam opens the passenger door for Zayn and holds the door open to the restaurant he's made reservations at, and Zayn still doesn't know if this is a date.

The restaurant is wonderful, with dim lighting and the best Italian food Zayn's ever eaten, and he still doesn't know if this is a date.

Liam makes him laugh and reaches for his hand over the table and tangles their feet together underneath the table. Liam insists on paying. And Zayn still doesn't know if this is a date.

But god, he hopes it is.

The drive to Liam's house is quiet, only punctuated by the low hum of the radio. Zayn's tapping his fingers against his knee, smiling stupidly to himself as he stares out of the window.

Liam pulls into a driveway and Zayn peers out of the windscreen, frowning. "Wow, Liam, you live in a proper house."

"Uh, yeah? So do you, Zayn," Liam says, sounding confused.

Zayn turns to see Liam grabbing Zayn's overnight bag from the backseat. "But like, this is a proper family home. I live in a pokey little house that I've half-converted into a studio. This is like. You have a garden, Liam. And your neighbours have a swingset in their front garden."

Zayn follows a silent Liam into the house. Unlike his, which is pretty stark and furnished only with what he needs, Liam's home looks cosy and lived in. A peek into his living room reveals a huge, soft sofa that looks big enough for them both to stretch out on and probably have room to spare. There's long, draping curtains and cushions everywhere. There's photo frames on the mantelpiece and brightly coloured blankets thrown over the back of the sofa.

Liam ushers Zayn upstairs before he can explore the rest of the house and he's guided into what must be Liam's room. It's huge, with an enormous king-sized bed that dominates the room. Liam steps past him and bends down to pet Loki, who barely lifts his head but his tail wags happily.

"Sorry Loki, but you'll have to sleep somewhere else tonight," Liam says softly before he gives him a gentle shove.

Loki gives him a mournful look before he slinks out of the door and Liam closes it softly behind him.

"Your house, Liam," Zayn murmurs, reaching for Liam and walking backwards slowly. "It's a proper home."

"Yeah," Liam says. He still looks a bit confused but his hands settle on Zayn's waist as they move slowly across the room.

Zayn feels the bed behind him and he lets himself fall back against the soft mattress. Liam lands on top of him, heavy and warm and nuzzling into his neck. Zayn tips his head back to give Liam better access, huffing out a laugh when Liam nips at his throat.

Liam's hand comes up to cup his jaw, tilting Zayn's head down so he can capture Zayn's lips in a soft, searching kiss. Zayn can feel that Liam's half-hard already, pressing against his thigh. He shifts carefully, groaning as he catches some friction against his dick and god, they're wearing too many clothes.

"Naked," he mumbles against Liam's lips. "We should definitely be naked."

Liam lifts himself up off the bed and undoes his shirt buttons, grinning when Zayn leers at him from his prime viewing position on the bed. Liam tugs down the zipper to his jeans before turning to let them fall to the ground and he wriggles out of them slowly.

"You're such a tease," Zayn says with a laugh, eyes fixed on Liam's arse clad only in boxers. "I can't believe I ever thought you were shy."

"Only when I really like someone," Liam says quietly, turning back around and shucking out of his boxers to stand completely naked in front of Zayn. Zayn's eyes travel down Liam's body and he hums appreciatively. He already knows Liam's body intimately but there's something different about Liam when he's standing in front of Zayn unashamedly nude. There's a confidence that radiates from him and Zayn _wants_.

"C'mere," he says throatily, making grabby hands for Liam.

"Not yet," Liam murmurs as he drops down between Zayn's spread thighs. He goes to work on Zayn's jeans and boxers, tugging them off with a little help from Zayn before he crawls up to straddle Zayn's hips and starts unbuttoning Zayn's shirt. When Zayn's naked and spread out on the mattress, Liam runs his palms up over Zayn's body, his hands lingering over Zayn's winged tattoo. "Zayn, I think you should fuck me."

Zayn's brain actually stops working for a second. He stares up at Liam and all he can hear is a vague buzzing sound while Liam looks down at him nervously, biting down on his bottom lip.

"Yeah," Zayn manages to say huskily. "Fuck. Yeah, okay."

"Only if you want to," Liam starts to say but Zayn smacks his hand over Liam's mouth, making Liam's eyes widen.

"You have no idea how much I want to," Zayn groans, rocking his hips up towards Liam where he's fully hard.

He can feel Liam smiling against his hand and he lets his hand drop onto Liam's thigh.

"C'mere," Zayn says, echoing his earlier order. This time Liam leans down and lets Zayn kiss him, sweet and slow. Everything feels different tonight, and Zayn can't place whether it's because they're in Liam's house, whether it's the not-date that's set the mood or whether it's because Liam's letting Zayn fuck him for the first time and it feels like a big moment for them. But whatever it is, Zayn lets the moment wash over them slowly, like a rolling tide.

Liam's rocking gently against him, making those noises in the back of his throat that Zayn loves so much. He trails his hands over Liam's skin, tracing a pattern that makes no sense across Liam's back and his hips, trailing over the curve of Liam's arse before his hands rest on Liam's hips and guide him into a better, more satisfying position as they slowly grind against each other.

"Top," Liam says, his voice hitching slightly, "top drawer."

Zayn rolls them carefully until he's on top and he reaches over to wrench the drawer open. He grabs blindly for the lube and condom and drops them onto the mattress next to them. "Babe, you sure?"

"Yeah," Liam says, nodding. He looks loose and relaxed and fiercely determined, all at once.

Zayn leans down to kiss Liam's chest. "How do you wanna do it?"

"I wanna see," Liam says quickly.

"Okay," Zayn says soothingly. He makes long, sweeping strokes down Liam's body, humming when Liam trembles at his touch. He wriggles down Liam's body until he's between Liam's legs and pushes his legs gently until they're bent, his feet planted firmly on the mattress. His fingers fumble for the lube and he carefully slicks his fingers, pressing soft kisses to the inside of Liam's thighs.

"You ready babe?" Zayn asks. He glances up to see Liam with his head propped up under a couple of pillows so he can see. It makes Zayn smile and he nips at Liam's hipbone teasingly.

"I'm ready," Liam tells him, his voice low but firm.

"Okay," Zayn mumbles as he presses kisses along Liam's hips. His hand dips lower until he finds what he's looking for. He feels Liam shiver as Zayn presses down, sliding inside Liam with more ease than he'd expected. The surprise must be written on his face because Liam makes a funny noise that lifts Zayn's head.

Liam's flushing bright pink. "I uh, might have um, done this earlier."

Zayn feels his jaw go slack as he's hit with the image of Liam arching back to finger himself open. His silence must go on too long though because Liam's fidgeting uncomfortably beneath him.

"I'm sorry," Liam says in a rush. "I should have waited so you could do it."

"Hey," Zayn murmurs. He slides his finger in to the knuckle, laughing softly when he meets no resistance. He finds a loose, easy rhythm before he adds a second finger, stretching Liam beautifully and finally finding the stretch. "So you were all eager, yeah? Couldn't wait until tonight?"

"Uh," Liam stammers slightly, thrown by Zayn's low, teasing tone. He groans when Zayn scissors his fingers deep inside Liam and Zayn cocks his head, smiling up at him. "God, I just kept thinking about tonight and how I was gonna ask you to fuck me."

"Yeah?" Zayn says softly. Liam's head drops back, his face slackening as he starts to roll his hips down to meet Zayn's gentle thrusts. "You were thinking about me fucking you, huh? Were you hard, Liam? Did you get yourself off?"

"Yeah," Liam gasps as he pushes down onto Zayn's fingers. "I jerked off in the shower at work thinking about your fingers inside of me."

"Fuck," Zayn swears as he stills Liam's hips with his free hand and slides in a third finger slowly. Liam's dick is leaking against his own belly and Zayn's mouth is watering at the sight. "I wish I could have watched you, babe. Watching you stretch yourself open for me."

"Next time," Liam pants as he arches his hips up, silently asking Zayn for more. "Next time I'll do it for you, yeah?"

Zayn groans and drops his head to nuzzle against Liam's hip, mouthing wet, sloppy open-mouthed kisses against Liam's sweat-slick skin. He can hear Liam begging to be touched and he finally gives in, curling his fingers around Liam's dick.

"So greedy," Zayn murmurs teasingly, his other hand still moving steady, fingers gently probing inside of Liam and stroking him open. "Already come once today and now you want more."

Zayn ducks down to lap gently at Liam's tip before he stretches his mouth around Liam's dick and swallows him down. It's wet and sloppy, and Zayn's lips are slick as he slides down Liam's dick. He can hear Liam exhaling noisily, biting back his whimpers and Zayn doesn't want that. Zayn pulls off, his hands still busily stroking Liam as Zayn frowns up at him.

"Wanna hear you," Zayn mumbles before he swallows Liam down again and this time Liam writhes underneath him and Zayn hears every whimper and every moan that Liam makes. He sucks Liam down until his jaw aches and his lips feel bruised. He can feel that Liam's close and another day, he's going to make Liam come again and again until he's ruined in Zayn's arms, but not tonight. Tonight he needs to be inside Liam. He needs to surround himself in Liam and feel Liam come apart for him.

He pulls off with a slick, wet sound and grabs blindly for the condom. With trembling, uncoordinated fingers, he manages to rip the foil and roll it on. He has to squeeze himself at the base of his dick to try and calm himself down because Liam's spread out in front of him, slick and wet and waiting for him. And he wants.

Zayn leans down and presses a sloppy kiss to Liam's lips before he settles himself between Liam's legs. "Yeah?" he murmurs, once more time.

"Please," Liam whines. His hands are curled into fists around the sheets and Liam's eyes are wide and a bit unfocused. "Please Zayn, I need-"

"I've got you," Zayn murmurs softly, squeezing Liam's thigh reassuringly before he guides himself into Liam as slowly as he can. Zayn fights back the urge to just thrust in hard and deep like he wants and just lets himself slip slowly into the heat of Liam's body. He's shaking with the effort of holding back though and trying to make sure Liam's okay.

"Zayn," Liam says shakily. He's gripping Zayn's arms and arching up helplessly. "Please, fuck, please move, I need you to move."

A low rumble builds up in Zayn's chest and he starts to move, building up a smooth rhythm as Liam urges him on. Zayn blindly searches for Liam's mouth, kissing whatever part of Liam he can reach before he rears up and thrusts into Liam's welcoming body like he's been aching to do. He reaches between them, his hand wrapping around Liam's dick and it only takes a few strokes before Liam's coming with a loud cry, his body arching up into Zayn's as sticky hot come spurts between them, coating their bellies.

"Fuck," Zayn swears and buries his head into the curve of Liam's shoulder as he thrusts shallowly, chasing his own orgasm.

Liam's fingernails rake up his back, making him cry out and bow into Liam's touch. Liam's fingers scratch up into his hair and he tugs hard, and it sends Zayn tumbling over the edge. He comes with a whimper, biting down onto Liam's shoulder and shuddering through his orgasm. Liam's arms come up to circle around him, holding him tight as Zayn tries to catch his breath. They're messy and filthy, but Zayn doesn't ever want to move ever again.

"Next time, that's gonna last longer," he mutters into Liam's neck.

Liam laughs as his hands trail soft circles over Zayn's back. "M'not sure I'd survive," Liam tells him and kisses the top of Zayn's head.

"Me neither, need to work on my stamina," Zayn says with a yawn as he lifts his head to grin down at Liam. He takes in the wrecked hair and the stupid, gorgeous, satisfied smile on Liam's face and hums in contentment.

"We need to shower," Liam says as Zayn slowly pulls out of him and disposes of the condom. "I'll race you."

"That doesn't sound very safe, Leeyum," Zayn drawls before he makes a sprint for the ensuite, Liam laughing as he chases him right into the shower and presses him against the cold tiles to smother him in kisses and rub their cheeks together, water cascading over them and washing them clean.

*

"So I've got the day off," Liam says in the morning when he brings Zayn a cup of coffee and half a piece of toast. "What do you wanna do?"

He flops down on the bed next to Zayn and curls up into his side. Zayn slings his arm around Liam's shoulders and sips at his coffee.

"I dunno," Zayn says finally. "What do you want to do?"

"Go to the park," Liam says immediately, making Zayn grin. "We can stop at Tesco and get some food to take for a picnic."

"Liam, it's almost winter," Zayn points out. But one look at Liam's petulantly sad face has him sighing. "Fine, let's go sit and freeze in the park and have a picnic."

"It'll be fun, Zayn, I promise," Liam says with a little cheer and jumps off the bed, far too energetic for the morning after great sex.

They take Loki with them and Zayn takes his camera out of habit. They share a giant packet of hula hoops and Zayn takes a ridiculous amount of pictures of Loki as he chases squirrels and whatever else he thinks he scents in the park. Zayn also takes shot after shot of Liam and teases him that he's going to start a series of character portraits just of Liam.

"Here's Liam yelling at Loki," Zayn teases him. "And here's Liam practising his Gucci model pose. Oh and this is my favourite, it's Liam looking confused but incredibly hot."

Liam lunges for him, the camera rolling out of Zayn's hand onto the grass as he finds himself with an armful of Liam who's trying to tickle him, his hands flying over Zayn's body and making him breathless with laughter.

It's possibly the best day Zayn's ever had.

When it gets too cold, they head back to the house and drop Loki off, even though Zayn's heart breaks a little when they have to leave him.

"My sister's coming over in like, half an hour," Liam says when they get in Liam's car and catches Zayn staring at Liam's house with a miserable expression. "He'll be fine, Zayn. I promise."

"Yeah," Zayn says with a sigh as Liam starts the car and pulls away slowly. "Just don't like leaving pets by themselves."

"Which is why we're heading to yours, remember?" Liam says teasingly. "Didn't you say Tiger's probably ripped all your bedding to shreds?"

Zayn had said that. "But that's because he's an evil cat who likes to make my life miserable. Your dog, on the other hand, is the incarnation of man's best friend and is probably pawing at the door, wondering why his human left."

"Wow, that's a low blow, mate," Liam says, following it with a low exhale of breath. "Jesus."

"Your dog is so much better than my cat," Zayn says moodily as Liam takes a corner a little too fast. "Wanna trade?"

They bicker all the way back to Zayn's house, with Zayn making increasingly wild offers to bribe Liam into giving him Loki. It's fun and they're laughing by the time they walk into the house. Tiger appears immediately, giving Zayn a reproachful look even as he stalks towards them and winds himself around Zayn's legs.

"Don't give me that look," Zayn scolds as he picks Tiger up and cuddles him to his chest. "It was one night."

Liam drops his hand onto Zayn's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "Still wanna trade?"

"Maybe," Zayn insists, even as he buries his face into Tiger's fur and scratches his ears to make Tiger purr in satisfaction.

"Yeah, alright," Liam says dryly. "I'm going to make tea, you want one?"

Zayn nods and gives Tiger another cuddle before he lets him drop back onto the floor. "I'll be in the studio, yeah? I've got to finish up those close ups and send them off to Ed."

"I'll bring it through," Liam calls from where he's wandered into the kitchen.

Zayn isn't sure what to think about how domestic they've become already. It's been surprisingly easy to slot Liam into his home. He and Perrie had spent hours arguing over whose turn it was to wash up or cook, and what to watch on the telly. But he and Liam never really argue, since Liam offers to wash up most nights and Zayn's not stupid enough to turn down the offer. And since Liam doesn't watch soaps or daytime telly, they don't argue over the telly either. Liam's neat where Zayn's untidy but it doesn't seem to bother Liam, who is possibly more laid back than Zayn with a lot of things that he'd assume Liam would get bothered by. But Liam simply gets on with things, instead of trying to nag Zayn into doing something he doesn't want to do.

He's a little worried that it's just still that early phase where they're both trying to impress each other. But there's a bigger part of him that just wants to roll with it and see where they land, because so far, Liam's pretty damn perfect and Zayn definitely doesn't want to mess this up. Whatever it is.

He's halfway through airbrushing out a rogue shadow on Liam's shoulder when a mug of tea is placed in front of him.

"Thanks babe," Zayn mumbles as he zooms right in to double check his work.

Liam slides in behind him on the chair and Zayn distractedly moves forward to give him room. He ends up between Liam's thighs with Liam draping himself over Zayn's back, his arms wrapped around Zayn's neck and his cheek nuzzled against the curve of Zayn's neck.

The next photo takes him longer, since Liam seems determined to distract him by running his wandering hands up Zayn's thighs. Zayn's half hard without even thinking about it and he’s drawing on the heat from Liam's body. When Liam starts kissing his neck, Zayn tilts his head without thought to give him easier access, clicking into the picture and looping around a blemish.

"How long do you think you'll be?" Liam murmurs between kisses. His hands slide up under Zayn's shirt and Zayn arches back into him.

"Just got one more babe," Zayn says, reaching down to pat Liam's thigh and letting his hand rest there.

Liam hums thoughtfully and Zayn nearly whimpers when Liam's hand drifts down to ghost over his crotch where Zayn's dick is straining in his jeans. And when Liam's fingers make quick work of Zayn's zipper, Zayn groans and his hips jerk up. He hears Liam's huff of laughter against his neck and he shivers helplessly.

"No laughing," Zayn mutters, closing his eyes as Liam's teasing fingers grip his dick lightly. "Fuck."

"Mmm, this angle works for me," Liam says softly, before he ducks his head and sucks what Zayn half-hopes is going to be a big fucking lovebite that's going to be visible to everyone.

He can feel that Liam's as hard as he is, pressing up into the cleft of his arse and he grinds back, drawing pleased noises from Liam where he's sucking and nipping at Zayn's skin. Liam's thumb skims over the tip of his dick and drags a hiss from Zayn's lips.

"Fuck you're good at this," Zayn says through gritted teeth as he tries to stop himself from rolling his hips up again into Liam's fist. It's almost impossible though when Liam's other hand sneaks into his boxers and reaches down lower, cupping his balls and massaging them lightly. "Oh _fuck_."

Zayn's head falls back against Liam's shoulder and he just gives in, rocking his hips up again and again, desperately chasing release as Liam urges him on with his hands and his mouth.

When his orgasm hits, Zayn's vision whites and he can feel the spurt of his come splashing against his skin and over Liam's fist. He falls back against Liam and pants loudly as Liam continues to stroke him through it. Zayn has to push Liam's hand away eventually, wincing as he tucks himself back into his boxers, messy and sticky and thoroughly content.

He's also pretty sure Liam's sucking Zayn's come from his fingers and that's far hotter than it really should be.

But before he can get distracted, his phone starts ringing. Normally he'd ignore it, but it's his mum and he's already missed three calls from her.

"I've gotta answer this," Zayn murmurs apologetically.

Liam stretches out behind him and slides out of the chair, dropping a kiss on the top of Zayn's hair with a smile. "Nah, I've got one of those too, remember?"

Zayn's smiling when he answers the phone and he's pretty sure his mum can hear it in his voice. He's half listening to her catching him up on all the family news and he can hear Liam padding around the kitchen. The kitchen tap flicks on for a few moments before it goes off again and Zayn tries not to let his cheeks heat as he realises that Liam must be rinsing his hands clean.

"That's great mum," Zayn murmurs when she's done telling him about Safaa's latest accomplishments at school. "Tell her I'll come see her soon, yeah?"

"So, son of mine, what's got you in such a good mood?" Trisha teases him. "It's not like you to be in such a good mood when I call."

"Just excited to hear from you, Mum," Zayn says, rolling his eyes. He hears her bright laughter down the phone and he ducks his head, hiding his smile into his neck. "There's no special reason. I can be in a good mood for no reason, you know."

"Yeah, you could," his mum agrees. "But I know you, Zayn, and you sound happy. You don't have to tell me why, but it's nice to hear."

"Honestly Mum, there's no reason," Zayn mutters.

"Alright, alright," Trisha says placatingly. "So what's new with you then?"

"Nothing much," Zayn says around a yawn. "I've finished that calendar I was doing for the fireman. Just about to send the final shots over to Ed and then I've got that book layout to do next week with Harry."

"You sound busy," his mum says. "So, nothing new personally then? No new girlfriend? Boyfriend?"

Zayn pauses, biting down on his lip. "No," he says finally. "No new girlfriend or boyfriend." Not until they've had that conversation anyway. "I'm just hanging out with a friend, but there's no need to drag the nice dinnerplates out or for Dad to get all protective, okay?"

Trisha laughs again and Zayn feels the dull ache in his chest ease a little. "Alright, I'll let him know. But if this friend of yours turns out to be something more, then we want to meet them, okay? It's been a while since you brought someone home, love."

"Yeah, I know." Zayn shoves a hand through his hair and sighs quietly. He already knows his family would love Liam. He just hopes Liam wants to meet them, one day. "Mum, I've got to go. Give my love to everyone, yeah?"

"Alright love," Trisha says, her voice turning softer and Zayn closes his eyes, suddenly tired and fighting an odd surge of homesickness. "Look after yourself, okay? Love you."

"Love you too. Bye Mum."

He drops his phone onto the desk and exhales slowly.

"Zayn?"

Zayn jumps in surprise, before he whirls around to see Liam in the doorway. His eyebrows are knitted together in a frown and he's got his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Hey," Zayn murmurs. "What's up?"

"Zayn," Liam echoes, and there's frustration in his voice. "Zayn, what do you think we're doing here?"

Zayn's stomach roils dangerously. "Uh," he hedges weakly. "We're um. Yeah."

Liam takes half a step forward before he pauses. His arms come up to fold across his chest defensively and Zayn can feel his own hands start to tremble.

"We're um, having fun?" Zayn offers through dry lips and his heart is racing. "Lots of fun."

"Having fun," Liam echoes quietly. He looks hurt, and small. "Anything else?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Liam," Zayn says. He’s so, so shit at relationships. He doesn't even know if they're in one and he hates that Liam's putting this all on him. "You stay over here all the time but we've never talked about what we're doing. I don't _know_ what we're doing and I don't know what you want from me."

"You don't _know_?" Liam asks in disbelief.

"No! For all I know, we're just fucking around and you'll be done with me in a few weeks and onto the next guy you meet," Zayn says in frustration. It's not like it'd be the first time it's happened to him.

"I can't believe this," Liam says, almost to himself. When he looks up, there's strain etched across his face. "I've got to go."

Zayn very deliberately looks away because he can't watch Liam leave. He can't watch Liam walk out of his house and not know if he's ever going to come back, he just can’t.

So he turns and drops back into his chair and stares blankly at the computer screen. His legs feel like jelly and his heart won’t fucking calm down because Liam’s leaving and Zayn doesn’t know how to stop him. He doesn’t even know if Liam wants Zayn to stop him.

It seems like an age passes before he hears Liam turn and his footsteps getting quieter as he walks away. Another few moments before he hears the front door close quietly behind him and Liam's car start up and slowly pull away.

"Fuck," he says quietly before he drops his head into his hands. He's shaking and he feels sick. "Fuck."

*

Zayn vaguely remembers calling Harry but he can't remember Harry arriving or when he ended up lying on the sofa with his head in Harry's lap. And he definitely doesn’t remember when he starting singing Mario.

 _"You should let me love you, let me be the one to give you everything you want and need …"_ he half-sings, half-mumbles.

"You're a terrible drunk, Zayn," Harry's telling him and Zayn completely agrees. He's had countless shots of whiskey that he didn't even bother to water down, perversely enjoying the burn as he swallowed each shot. He's paying for it now though because the room won't stop spinning and he feels even more miserable than he had when Liam left.

"S'gone," Zayn mumbles.

"Yeah, so you've said. Repeatedly."

"S'gone and hates me." The words sound rough and unfamiliar to him and his stomach roils again.

"No he doesn't," Harry says with a sigh. He cards his fingers through Zayn's hair soothingly and Zayn nuzzles into Harry's thigh gratefully. "Whatever happened, I'm sure he just needs to calm down, okay?"

"I said we were havin' fun," Zayn mumbles pathetically. "He didn’t say anything."

"Wait, you mean you didn't have that talk you promised me you were going to have?" Harry asks, his hands pausing in their ministrations.

"No," Zayn says, his voice muffled where he's buried his face into Harry's leg. "This was the talk. Didn't go well."

"No kidding," Harry says sardonically. "He asked you what you were doing and you said having fun? No wonder he left, Zayn. Jesus."

"You're s'posed to be on my side Harry," Zayn whines mournfully.

They both look up when Zayn's phone flashes and vibrates on the coffee table in front of them. Zayn lifts his head, groaning as the room spins again and then he's grabbing for the phone, half falling to the floor as his fingers close around it and he drags himself back up onto the sofa.

"S'Liam," Zayn says in surprise. He'd hoped, but he hadn't thought it would actually be Liam. Not this soon. "That can't be good, right?"

Harry merely shrugs and stands up, stretching before he heads for the kitchen. "You need water. Lots of water."

_**hey, sorry i left before, that was shit of me. can we hook up in a few days? when you're free?** _

Zayn re-reads the text again and again, completely confused. "He wants to hook up in a few days," he calls out to Harry.

"That's good, right?" Harry says, coming out of the kitchen and pressing a glass of water into Zayn's hand.

He drinks it without even really noticing. "We had an argument," Zayn says dazedly. He knows he's drunk but this doesn't make any sense even to his alcohol-addled mind. "But he's apologising and wants to meet in a few days."

"See? You're making a fuss about nothing," Harry says reasonably, settling himself down on the sofa again. "You can apologise, talk things out and things can get back to normal, yeah?"

Zayn's not sure that it's as easy as Harry makes it sound, but god, he hopes so. It's going to be a crappy few days in the meantime.

*

When Liam texts two days later, Zayn's in a better place. A more hopeful, less inebriated place. Zayn suggests meeting at the coffee shop as a neutral location but Liam says he'd rather just come to Zayn's. So he's tidied the entire house, he's fed and watered Tiger and banished him to the kitchen, and he's put new sheets on the bed. Just in case.

And now he's pacing because Liam's ten minutes late and Zayn just really needs to see him and see how bad the damage is. He needs to know that they can fix this. That Liam wants to fix this as badly as Zayn does.

He jumps when the doorbell rings before he grimaces at himself. "Be cool," he tells himself sternly. "He's here. It's fine."

A few deep breaths later, he pulls the door open and just stares. "Hi," he says dumbly.

Liam's face softens into a smile and if it doesn't quite meet his eyes, then Zayn understands. He's got damp hair so Zayn knows he's freshly showered and he looks tired. Zayn fights the urge to tug him into a hug because he knows Liam's probably not ready for that yet and he's not sure he is either.

"Come in," Zayn says awkwardly, holding the door open as he steps back to let Liam inside. The door's barely closed when Zayn's being pressed back against the hard wood and Liam's mouth is on his.

He knows they need to talk but he realises that maybe they both need this too. So he fists his hands into Liam's shirt and opens his mouth and pulls him in close, moaning when Liam crowds up against him and he can hardly breathe in the best possible way. Liam steals the very breath from him with hard, punishing kisses that make Zayn's heart race and his legs unsteady.

Liam's hands are roaming over his body, slipping under his shirt and skimming up his back. It's all Zayn can do to hold on and stay upright as Liam assaults his mouth, fucking into it with his tongue in long, driving strokes that make Zayn whimper.

God he's so hard already and he's trying to grind against Liam for some friction but Liam's shifting, pinning him to the door with his hands on Zayn's hips and he feels like he's going to explode.

"Liam," Zayn says, panting when he eventually tears himself away from Liam's mouth. "Fuck."

Liam's eyes are dark and hooded and he stares at Zayn for a moment before he drops to his knees. His hands slide up Zayn's jean-clad thighs before he's turning Zayn around so he's pressed up against the door and Liam's hands cover his arse, making Zayn shiver in anticipation.

"Take your jeans off," Liam says, his voice gravelly and Zayn realises it's the first time Liam's spoken since he opened the door. His hands move quickly, fumbling as he tries to undo his zip. He's incapable of even pretending that he's got any gracefulness at this point, he's so desperate to get his hands on Liam and have Liam's hands on his. He needs to feel connected to Liam in some way, to prove to himself that he hasn't completely fucked this up and he still can't get his jeans off, fuck.

Eventually he thumbs the button open and tugs down the zip and then Liam's helping him, yanking his jeans and boxers down in one go and Zayn's barely kicked them off before Liam's hands are back on his arse, kneading him open and Zayn barely gets his hands palm-flat against the door before he feels Liam's warm breath against his skin. The first touch of Liam's tongue against his arse has him hissing out a curse and he scrambles to get a better hold on the door before he leans down slightly, pressing back helplessly against Liam, begging for more.

Liam's tongue is wickedly clever, kitten-licking at his hole until he's wet and slick with Liam's saliva. Then Liam's tongue flattens and his licks become more searching, stretching him open. It's not long before Liam's pressing a finger against him, fucking into him with just his tongue and his finger and it burns and hurts in the best possible way.

He hears the flick of a bottle cap and he's never been more grateful for Liam's organisational skills when he hears the sounds of Liam slicking up his fingers. Liam's still licking into him when he feels two fingers probing gently against his rim before they slip inside him. Zayn can feel himself pulsating around Liam's fingers, eager for purchase as Liam moves easily, building quickly to a steady rhythm that has Zayn shaking and he's babbling helplessly, begging Liam for more.

Liam slides a third finger inside and Zayn rocks back against him, desperate to have Liam inside him properly. "Now," he begs, not for the first time. "Please. Fuck, Liam, please just get inside me, yeah? I need you to, fuck, be inside of me right now."

He doesn't want gentle and he doesn't want soft. He just wants Liam inside of him and he tugs his shirt off as Liam's fingers slide out of him with a wet sound that should probably embarrass him but god, he's not. He hears Liam's jeans hit the floor behind him and he starts to turn around but Liam stops him, pressing up against his back and rubbing his unshaven cheek against Zayn's shoulder. "Hands and knees," Liam murmurs, a silent plea in his husky tone. Zayn shivers at the image Liam's giving him and he nods frantically. Liam steps back and there's more sounds behind him as Zayn drops to the floor, uncaring about the carpet burn he's gonna get because part of him wants to feel the burn. He wants Liam to fuck into him hard and he wants to feel it when he wakes up tomorrow lazily and slowly when Liam brings him coffee and they can talk about this properly.

Liam settles behind him between his spread thighs and Zayn can barely concentrate as Liam slides on a condom and slicks himself up. Zayn's panting, his arms shaking as he waits as patiently as he can manage. Liam's slick hand slides up the curve of Zayn's spine and drops a soft, tender kiss to Zayn's shoulder that makes Zayn smile helplessly before Liam's lining himself up and pushing in. He doesn't pause as Zayn hisses at the stretch but he murmurs encouragement that makes Zayn arch helplessly, trying to relax as Liam slides all the way inside of him. He gives Zayn a few moments to just breath and get used to the feel of Liam inside him because it's been a few years since he's bottomed for anyone and he just needs to adjust.

"Okay?" Liam asks him softly. His hands are gentle on Zayn's hips, holding him up and Zayn breathes deeply before he nods.

"Please," Zayn says, his voice hitching as he rocks back into Liam. "Please Liam. I need you to fuck me, yeah? Just fuck me."

"Yeah," Liam breathes before he starts to move. Zayn tries to remember to breathe as Liam fucks into him with long, slow strokes before he builds up to a more punishing rhythm that has Zayn moaning as Liam pounds into him. He pushes back to meet Liam with each thrust, begging for more. He tries to stay up on his hands but they give out on him and he drops to the floor, his arse lifting up higher as Liam slides more fully into him.

Zayn can feel his balls tightening and he doesn't even have time to reach down and stroke himself before he comes embarrassingly hard with a low whine, spurting over the carpet as Liam keeps thrusting into him hard. His heart is pounding hard in his chest and he drags in ragged breaths, keeping himself up with effort.

Liam comes silently. The only sign Zayn gets is the way Liam freezes while deep inside of him and the pulse of Liam's cock as he comes. It's unusual enough to make Zayn frown because Liam is as noisy and loud as he is usually.

Liam slumps down against Zayn's body, his arms curling around Zayn protectively. Zayn hums in appreciation, loving the weight of Liam against him. He feels solid. He feels real. And he's definitely going to be feeling this for the next day or two. Every time he moves, he's going to remember the feel of Liam inside of him, of Liam thrusting in deep enough to make it hurt so good.

There's a ghost of a kiss against his back before Liam's pulling away, and Zayn's too lethargic to move just yet. Eyes still closed, he hears rustling around him as Liam moves around. The sound of the toilet flushing and water running. He's just about ready to get up and drag Liam to bed when he opens his eyes to find Liam in front of him, fully dressed and biting on his bottom lip. Confused, Zayn sits up and stares up at him.

"I've got to go, but I'll text you, yeah?" Liam says quietly. He's fidgeting and shifting his weight from foot to foot and Zayn can't seem to find his voice. "I'm working tomorrow but I could come over the day after. If you want."

"Yeah," Zayn manages to say, but he means no. Stay. Talk to me.

"Alright, well I’ll see you later then," Liam says, looking anywhere but at Zayn before he opens the front door and slips out, closing it quietly behind him.

Dazed, Zayn just wraps himself up into a tight ball and closes his eyes to wait for the hurt to pass.

*

It carries on for a week. Liam rarely texts, unless he wants to come over. There's no texts about his day or what he's doing. No texts to check in and ask Zayn what he's doing. Just simple texts, always correctly spelled, asking if he can come over. And as soon as Liam's in the door, he's kissing Zayn with hard, drugging kisses that make Zayn's head spin and they're fucking on the sofa or on the stairs, if they make it that far. There's no talking. No after-sex cuddles. Liam always gets up, cleans himself off, makes sure that Zayn's okay and then leaves.

"I've completely fucked it up," Zayn tells Harry miserably when he drags it out of Zayn. "I fucked it up because I didn't realise we were in a fucking relationship and now we're. Fuck, I don't know what we are. Fuck buddies? I fucking hate it. Liam never wants to talk. He just wants to come in, fuck me or have me fuck him and then leave as quickly as possible."

"I told you to have the talk with him," Harry says, being completely unhelpful as usual.

"Well I didn't and now he's punishing me and it fucking sucks," Zayn says as he hugs his knees to his chest. "I don't want this. I want to go back to what we were. Which was, apparently, dating, and I just didn't realise because I'm a complete fucking idiot."

"Well, that's true," Harry says, patting Zayn's foot because he's a dick and Zayn doesn't know why he keeps Harry around at all.

"Shut up," Zayn grumbles meanly. "What am I gonna do though. He doesn't want to date me anymore and all I want to do is date the shit out of him until he's asking me to move in with him in that stupid home he's got with his stupid dog and we can wake up together in the morning and go to bed cuddling and I can mark his stupid body every fucking day so everyone knows we're together and having great sex and afterwards I can brag to everyone about my fireman boyfriend who saves kittens and old ladies and is also a part-time model who supports charities and buys me giant Iron Man figures for Christmas."

He buries his face into his knees and breathes a little unevenly as his chest aches painfully.

"Hey," Harry says in a softer voice. He crawls up between Zayn's legs and throws his arms around Zayn's neck until Zayn gives in and cuddles him back. "It's alright, Zayn. He's just mad and hurting, yeah? Liam's not vindictive. Niall reckons he's just doing it to protect himself. Why do you think he keeps coming back here? Because he can't stay away from you. Because he _wants_ you."

"Yeah?" Zayn asks hopefully before he rubs his hands over his eyes and sniffles.

"Yeah, of course," Harry murmurs, and Zayn clings a little harder to him. "I mean, I don't know that much about your sex life," and Harry manages to sound annoyed about it, which at least drags a smile out of Zayn, "but I bet Liam's not as immune as you think he is."

Zayn's about to argue with him when he promptly closes his mouth and thinks about the way Liam's touch still gentles when he's about to enter Zayn, and the way he always curls himself around Zayn when they've both come, or the way he never forgets to kiss Zayn softly before he gets up to leave. And the ache inside of him eases just a bit. "Harry, tell me what I should do."

Harry lifts his head and waits patiently until Zayn looks up at him. "Woo him."

Zayn rolls his eyes good-naturedly but for once, he pays attention.

*

Zayn works at his computer until it's long past midnight and his eyes feel scratchy and strained behind his glasses. He's been working on the same photograph for the past four hours, since Harry left. It's a photograph of Liam that Zayn took the day they went to the park with Loki and had a picnic. He'd caught Liam laughing at Zayn when he'd been explaining the goddamn duck photoshoot story. He's staring straight down the camera and the only way Zayn can describe it is pure happiness. There's laughter etched into every line of Liam's face and there's something in his eyes that Zayn's terrified to identify. He really, really doesn't want to be wrong. And it's also why he's taken so long with the photograph, which didn't really need much work at all. He'd tried it in black and white, which had been beautiful but eventually Zayn keeps it in full colour because Liam laughing deserves to be in bright sunshine.

He sends it to print and takes off his thick-rimmed spectacles to rub tiredly at his eyes. Yawning, he switches everything off and carries the picture into the living room where he very carefully sets it into a photo frame and sits it upright on the table. Then he takes out a pen and his sketch book and starts sketching. He sketches Liam laughing and he sketches Liam laid out in his bed. He sketches Liam at work and he sketches Liam reading a comic. He sketches Liam on Zayn's sofa with Tiger on his lap. He scribbles a simple _I'm sorry. I miss you_ in the corner and signs it with his name. Then he rips out the sketches, folds them carefully and puts them into a padded envelope along with the picture frame. He writes Liam's name on the front in careful script and leaves it on the side with his glasses before he traipses upstairs and falls into bed without even bothering to strip off his clothes because he's already fast asleep.

*

In the morning, he drives over to Liam's house and tucks the envelope behind the potted plant by Liam's front door, leaving it out far enough that Liam will see it and he forces himself to walk away, even though he's already second guessing himself. Perhaps he should have written a longer note, or perhaps it's just a stupid idea altogether and he should have thought about something else. He sits in his car outside Liam's house for almost half an hour before he bangs his head on the steering wheel and starts the engine, pulling away and leaving the envelope of Liam to find, come what may.

He just pulls up to his house as a delivery driver who pops out with a package for him. Zayn signs it and wishes her a good day before he heads inside, ripping the envelope open. It's the final proof of the first calendar and Zayn's gaze unerringly finds Liam on the cover, laughing at Niall next to him.

Not bothering to flick through the rest of the calendar, he opens it up at September to find Liam staring down the lens at him and Zayn drops onto the sofa heavily, the calendar still in his tight grip. Tiger, who'd been sleeping on the chair, stretches out and jumps off the chair to paw at Zayn's feet until he picks the cat up and settles him on his lap. "Looks good, doesn't he Tiger?" Zayn murmurs. "Picture perfect."

Tiger purrs his agreement and swishes his tail.

"Dunno what I'm gonna do if he doesn't turn up," Zayn whispers.

It's going to be a long wait.

*

Seven hours and eighteen minutes. That's how long he waits until there's a knock on the door that sends his pulse racing and forces him to breathe deeply a few times before he can get to his feet and stumble over towards the door. He throws the door open and he's pretty sure everything he's feeling is written all over his face like a map.

Liam's holding the sketches in his hand and he's staring at Zayn, confusion clearly etched into his expression. But there's something else, hiding underneath. Another emotion that Zayn's too scared to name.

"You said you miss me," Liam says finally. He holds up the paper and Zayn catches a glimpse of the sketch of Liam and Tiger and his heart clenches.

"I do," Zayn says hoarsely. "You have no idea."

"But I was here yesterday," Liam says slowly. His eyes are roving over Zayn's face like he's looking for something. "I've been here all week."

"Do you uh, wanna come in?" Zayn asks because he really doesn’t want to do this in front of his neighbours.

Liam nods and steps inside, closing the door behind him. "Zayn," he says in a strained voice. "Why did you draw these? And leave them outside my house?"

"Because I'm an idiot," Zayn says, tilting his chin slightly as if bracing himself for a metaphorical blow. "Because I hurt you and I didn't realise we were in a relationship. And I miss it. So if the point of the past week was to make me realise all that, then it worked. And then some."

Liam exhales slowly and his shoulders relax a little. There's still confusion in his eyes though. "I wasn't trying to punish you," he says slowly, like it should have been obvious. "I was trying to show you that I wasn't leaving, like you thought I would."

Zayn's heart slams against his chest and he forgets to breathe for a moment. "But you were different. You didn't want to talk or cuddle or stay the night or spend any time with me. We never even made it to the bloody bed, Liam."

Liam laughs but it comes out harsh and frayed. "You basically told me that you weren't thinking about us long-term, Zayn. What did you want me to do? I was trying to protect myself! I was falling for you and I was so ridiculously, unbelievably happy. Like, I couldn’t believe that I could be that happy. And then I overhear you telling your mum that I'm just a mate and you told me that you weren't feeling what I was feeling. That you weren't thinking about a future with me, while I was daydreaming about holidays we could go on together and maybe mov-" Liam breaks off, flushed and frustrated and he bites back whatever he'd been about to say. "Well, clearly we were on completely different wavelengths."

"No, we weren't," Zayn says quickly, stepping forward to grab Liam's wrist and holding on tight. "Fuck. I've messed this up so badly."

Liam sighs and shoves his hand through his hair. "Why did you think I was going to leave, Zayn? Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Zayn reaches for Liam's other hand and locks their fingers together tightly. "No, Liam. I just. No one ever stays, okay? No one ever wants to stay when they realise I'm not mysterious and cool and whatever else people think I am. They realise I like comics and staying in and painting and shit, and then they leave. All of them."

"Well they're all stupid," Liam mutters fiercely. He strokes his thumbs gently over the back of Zayn's hands and gently pulls him closer. "I don't want to leave, okay? So if you don't mind me staying, then I'd like to. Yeah?"

"I really, really want you to," Zayn whispers, his heart in his throat. "But like, I can't promise not to be stupid again. I'll probably be really dumb all the time, and I'll probably always wonder why you're with me and not leaving. But I don't want you to leave."

Liam leans in and presses his forehead against Zayn's. They just rest there for a minute, breathing into each other shakily. "If you ever want to know why, I can just tell you, okay?" Liam murmurs into the silence between them. "Like, I can tell you how clever you are with your camera. And how nice and funny you are. You're like, really calming and you always know what to say. And you're so much smarter than me. You have all these clever words that, like I don't even know what they mean. But you do. And Harry loves you a lot. Niall says he never shuts up about you. And you've got pictures of your mum and dad and your sisters around the house, and they're like, the only personal stuff you've got lying around. And you can make me want so much just by running your hand over my skin. And I really like your fingers." Liam pauses and stares down at where their fingers are all tangled together. "God Zayn, I _love_ your fingers. I like everything about you, Zayn. And I can tell you that every day, if you want. I don't mind. Just please don’t push me away. I think I can handle everything except that."

Zayn closes his eyes and presses his lips against Liam's in a desperate, achingly sweet kiss.

"I'm sorry," Zayn murmurs against Liam's lips. "And I really did miss you. Can we just like. Can we go back to dating please? I really wanna do that. I really, really want to date you. You have no idea how much I want that."

"Yeah?" Liam says, and he's smiling and it's his real, genuine smile, Zayn realises in relief.

"You have _no_ idea," Zayn says with a shaky laugh. He kisses Liam again, quick and fleeting and full of all the emotion Zayn's feeling. "I was so fucking jealous when I thought you were dating other people and I just wanted to yell at you to date me instead."

"I wasn't dating anyone else," Liam says and he cups Zayn's jaw carefully, letting his thumb stroke against Zayn's stubble-roughened jaw. "I wanted all those coffee shop dates to be real, you know."

"Me too," Zayn says self-consciously. Then he freezes before he drops his head into Liam's shoulder. "Oh. Oh fucking hell. I was the date. The one you said didn't fancy you."

Liam laughs and brings his hand up to cup the back of Zayn's head. "Yeah. I was devastated. And I thought I was being so obvious."

"And the shoot," Zayn says, and he wants to groan at how fucking stupid he's been. "Harry said you were nervous because I was there."

"Normally I don't have any problems taking off my clothes," Liam agrees, which makes Zayn snicker a little into his neck. "I work in a fire station, Zayn. Privacy isn't really a thing we have there. Besides, have you met Louis and Niall? They aren't all that big on boundaries."

Zayn's hands slip under Liam's shirt and press against his back until Liam arches slightly into Zayn's body, and Zayn nuzzles into the curve of Liam's neck and shoulder. "So we're dating. Officially. Right?"

"Right," Liam murmurs, running his hands up and down Zayn's arms."Totally dating. Very much exclusively dating. All the dating."

Zayn exhales a laugh against Liam's warm skin, pleased when Liam shivers against him. "So we should probably have couple sex. To celebrate, you know, being a couple."

"We've been having couple sex for weeks, Zayn," Liam says as he starts to slowly walk Zayn back towards the stairs.

"Alright, couple sex where we're both aware that we're mutually, exclusively, very definitely dating," Zayn says dryly. "And we should definitely have it in a bed."

Liam slides his hand up Zayn's throat and tilts his head back slightly so Liam can kiss him long and deep. "Yeah," Liam says roughly when he pulls back.

"Yeah," Zayn echoes a little dopily before he turns and runs up the stairs, Liam on his heels as they race towards Zayn's bedroom, breathless with laughter. Liam slams the door shut behind him and stalks Zayn to the bed, amusement dying on both their faces as they reach for each other. They strip each other between kisses that linger. Then Zayn turns and gently pushes Liam back against the mattress, humming in approval when Liam scoots back to lie flat against the sheets.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to take your picture on that first shoot at the fire station?" Zayn asks as he climbs up over Liam and settles himself easily across the top of Liam's thighs. "And pretend that I didn't want to just lick every inch of your body?"

Liam's laugh is unsteady as he slides his hands up Zayn's thighs. "Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how nerve-wracking it is to strip down in front of the guy you're crushing so hard on? And wonder if he even likes you?"

"Oh, he likes you," Zayn murmurs wickedly before he leans down and licks a stripe up Liam's belly. He feels Liam suck in a breath and he licks Liam's belly again before pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses to warm skin as he traces a path upwards. When he closes his mouth over Liam's nipple, Liam inhales sharply and he arches up off the bed. Zayn lets his hands drift up to Liam's shoulders and he presses down hard, pinning Liam back against the mattress as his tongue swirls around Liam's pebbled nipple. He nips and sucks until Liam cries out and tries to buck his hips up helplessly.

Zayn quietens him with soft words and hands that ghost down Liam's body. He strokes warm, flushed skin, following with his mouth as he maps out Liam's body with his lips. "Your body is insane," Zayn says softly as he nuzzles his face into Liam's taut belly. He trails his hands down Liam's hips and pushes out Liam's thighs as he spreads Liam out before him.

His mouth _waters_.

"Please," Liam whimpers. Zayn makes soothing sounds as he reaches for the bottle of lube and stretches up to capture Liam's mouth with a long, drugging kiss before he wriggles back down Liam's body to settle himself between Liam's legs. He slicks up his fingers and feeling playful, he leans down and blows gently against Liam's hole, making him shiver.

Then Zayn presses a finger against Liam's rim, just resting there until Liam's toes curl against the sheets and he presses down, trying to force Zayn inside of him. Zayn laughs softly and turns his face to nuzzle into Liam's thigh as he slides a finger inside. There's barely any resistance and Zayn makes pleased noises as he slowly fucks into Liam.

"Look at you, still loose from yesterday when I stretched you open," Zayn murmurs. He slides a second easy finger inside of Liam. They'd fucked over the sofa yesterday with Liam's face pressed into the cushions while Zayn slide into him from behind. He'd had to open all the windows to air the room out from the smell of sex and Liam afterwards. "Have you been loose all day, babe? Did it make you think of me?"

"M'always thinkin' 'bout you," Liam slurs as he rocks his hips down and Zayn's fingers slip deeper inside of him, seeking and probing. "Love being able to feel you all day. Where you fuck me so hard I can feel it for days."

"Yeah?" Zayn murmurs and presses his hips down against the mattress for relief. "You want me to fuck you hard now, babe? Make sure you can feel it every time you sit down?"

"Yeah," Liam says, his voice thick with arousal. "Yeah, want that so much babe. Wanna feel like m'yours."

Zayn inhales sharply. "Yeah."

He turns his head and flicks out his tongue to catch the tip of Liam's dick before he swallows him down. He hears Liam's low moan and he thrusts his fingers into Liam harder. He uses his mouth and his fingers with determined focus, alternating rhythms and pressures until Liam's writhing underneath him, bucking up into his mouth before dropping down onto Zayn's fingers.

"Zayn m'gonna come," Liam cries out shakily.

Zayn slides a third finger inside of Liam, feeling where he's loose and a bit sloppy from earlier. He crooks his fingers as he takes Liam all the way down to his throat before pulling back just as Liam comes, filling his mouth with hot, bitter come that Zayn greedily swallows. He keeps Liam inside of his mouth as he softens, using his tongue to clean Liam up until Liam's protesting mewls have him pulling back with one final kiss to the tip of his dick.

Zayn pulls his fingers out if Liam carefully and climbs back up the bed to find Liam looking at him, glassy-eyed and fucked out. His hair is a complete mess and his skin flushed all the way down to his chest. He looks sleepy and rumpled and Zayn just wants to ruin him before putting him back together again.

"Why'd you let me come?" Liam says drowsily.

Zayn reaches out to stroke his hand down Liam's cheek before he ducks down to kiss Liam languidly. "Just taking the edge off, babe," Zayn says against his lips. "Gonna make you come again on my dick, yeah?"

Liam's eyes widen before he blinks, his face softening into a look of trust that makes Zayn's heart skip a beat. "Okay," Liam says softly.

"I could ruin you so easily and you'd just let me," Zayn murmurs. He closes his eyes against the wave of emotion that runs through him. "But it goes both ways, Liam. Don't forget that, yeah?"

He feels Liam's warm breath on his face and he arches into Liam's touch where he's stroking his hands down Zayn's back. "Only here, like this," Liam promises, desperation clinging to the edge of his words. His hand slides up to press against Zayn's chest where his heart is beating so loudly in his chest. "Not here."

Zayn seeks Liam's lips blindly, kissing with a desperation he can't control. He's still hard and he tugs Liam up until he's sitting and Zayn's in his lap, straddling his hips. Zayn grabs the condom and rips it open, frustrated when he has to break the kiss to roll it on. He slicks himself up as fast as he can with trembling hands while Liam cups his face and draws on out long, sloppy kisses that make Zayn lose focus.

Until he pushes Liam back down against the mattress and spreads his thighs. Then his focus comes rushing back to him.

He slides inside of Liam slowly, watching Liam's face as he fills him. When he's bottomed out, Liam's eyes open and he looks _fucked_. His eyes are unfocused, his lips are slick and parted and he looks completely drunk on Zayn.

And Zayn feels like he's coming home.

The rhythm he sets is slow and deep. He doesn't move too fast until he sees Liam's dick chub up in interest. Then he shifts, his knees pressing harder into the mattress as he finds a better angle. And he rolls his hips in a sharp snap that drags a hoarse moan from Liam. So he does it again.

He lets the pace quicken until he can feel Liam trembling beneath him. Liam's face is slightly pale with exhaustion and his mouth slack as he rises up to meet every thrust of Zayn's hips with fierce determination.

"Please, fuck, please," Liam's begging in guttural tone Zayn's never heard before. "Zayn please fuck me harder fuck me, oh fuck!"

Zayn drives on harder, his skin slick with sweat as he focus on Liam. He can feel Liam's hard between them now and he ducks down to give Liam a sloppy kiss. "Touch yourself, babe," Zayn pants. "Wanna see. So gorgeous."

Liam makes an odd, desperate noise that comes from the back of his throat but he reaches between them and gets a hand around himself. Zayn watches Liam stroke himself with a too-loose grip and uneven jerks but it's enough. Fuck, it's enough to have Liam tilt his head back, his neck curving up beautifully as he comes with a harsh cry.

Zayn feels the warm splash of come on his own belly and he growls. He thrusts inside Liam, setting a punishing pace as he chases his own orgasm. Liam's arms come up to hook around his neck, dragging him down for eager, slack kisses.

"Come on babe," Liam whispers thickly.

Zayn comes with a low cry, his body tensing as he releases inside of Liam. He holds himself up for as long as he can before he falls down into Liam's waiting arms, curling himself around his boy.

"Mine," Liam murmurs, slurred and content.

"Yours," Zayn agrees throatily. He gives himself a few minutes to needily cling to Liam before he pulls himself away, ignoring Liam's half-hearted protests. He disappears into the bathroom to dispose of the condom and returns with a damp cloth to clean them both off, his hands gentle and careful with Liam, aware that he's probably overly sore and sensitive.

When he finally climbs back into bed and lifts the covers up over them, Liam crawls into his arms and drops his head onto Zayn's shoulder. Zayn falls asleep to the feel of Liam's breath warm and steady against his skin.

*

Zayn wakes up to the smell of coffee. He can hear Liam coming up the stairs, humming and he turns to bury his face into the pillow to hide his dopey grin.

"Mornin’ sleepyhead," Liam says cheerfully as Zayn hears a tray being put down before the bed dips and Liam presses a kiss to his back. His hands slide under Zayn and before he knows what’s happening, he’s being flipped and is staring up at Liam’s beautiful, terribly cheerful face.

Zayn grabs his pillow and shoves it in Liam’s face.

"Hey!" Liam protests but he’s laughing and it quickly devolves into a playfight on the bed that Zayn loses, partly because Liam’s stronger and more awake, but also partly because Zayn’s naked and he likes to at least pretend he has some dignity. "I brought you breakfast."

"Best boyfriend ever," Zayn mumbles, watching Liam carefully through half-open eyes. It’s the first time either of them have used the term.

Liam’s eyes brighten and he ducks down for a kiss. "Yeah?"

"Definitely," Zayn agrees as he hooks his arms around Liam’s neck and rubs their roughened cheeks together softly. "Reckon my mum will wanna hear all about my gorgeous, lovely, sweet new boyfriend."

Liam’s cheeks pinken and his lips part on a soft exhale. "Yeah? Mine too."

Zayn’s smile is half-embarrassed but he doesn’t care. His mum is gonna love Liam. It’s going to be awful.

Zayn can’t bloody wait.

"Hey, d'you feel okay?" Zayn asks quietly.

Liam squirms a little on the bed but he nods and his eyes shine bright with emotion that makes Zayn duck his head to hide his shy, pleased smile.

"So what d’you wanna do today then?" Liam says when Zayn’s propped up against the headboard, coffee in hand while Liam leans against his shoulder.

"We could go to the park," Zayn suggests softly. He’s not even really joking. He had more fun at the park than he’d expected to last time, and he has a sneaking, never-to-be-voiced suspicion that anywhere they go, he’ll have more fun because he’s with Liam.

"Yeah?" Liam nudges his shoulder. "We could swing by and pick up Loki."

"Yeah," Zayn says before he takes a sip of his coffee to ease the sudden lump in his throat. "Yeah, that sounds sick."

It takes them over an hour to leave the house because Zayn insists on showering with Liam and after Zayn drops to his knees and gives Liam a wet, sloppy blowjob that Liam insists on returning when they’re out of the shower and he’s got Zayn pressed up against the foggy bathroom mirror, leaning against the sink, they get dressed and head to Liam’s.

They choose a different spot to last time and Zayn pulls out his camera unthinkingly while they’re unpacking.

"You should teach me how to use that properly," Liam says, leaning down and curling his body around Zayn’s. He reaches for the camera and holds it in front of Zayn.

"Alright," Zayn says, turning his head into Liam’s shoulder and taking a deep breath. "You sure?"

"Course," Liam says. "I can't call Harry every time I wanna take a picture of you, can I?"

"You wanna take pictures of me," Zayn murmurs in disbelief.

"Well yeah," Liam says, clearly amused. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

Zayn stays silent long enough to feel Liam's slow exhale against his skin.

"No one's ever offered to take your picture," Liam murmurs, his hands rubbing up and down Zayn’s arms slowly. Carefully. "Well I'm going to. You have to teach me first though because my photos usually come out blurred and with my thumb blocking half the shot."

Zayn lets himself lean back against Liam for a moment before he takes the camera from Liam and with slow, careful instruction, he starts explaining the basics of photography to Liam as Loki races around them, barking excitedly before he races off after another squirrel.

After two hours and a hell of a lot of discarded shots and giggling and embarrassed expressions from Liam, he finally takes a half-decent photograph of Zayn. Liam's caught him with his face tilted upwards, softened by laughter as he looks right down the camera at Liam.

"It helps that my subject is pretty flawless," Liam says, sounding pleased all the same. He nudges Zayn's shoulder gently where he's sat with his legs either side of Liam's and his chin hooked over Liam's shoulder. "S'gonna be the cover picture."

"Cover picture of what?" Zayn asks as he sneaks his thumb under Liam's shirt where his hands are resting on Liam's waist. He rubs gently against Liam's warm soft skin.

"Of our photo album," Liam says. He lifts the camera so Zayn can see the shot in more detail. "I'm gonna start one when we get back home."

Zayn's not sure if it's the reference to home or Liam's endearing eagerness to start building memories together, but he takes the camera from Liam and spins the viewing screen around so he can aim the camera at the both of them. "Smile, babe," he whispers into Liam's ear.

They both mug shamelessly for the camera and Zayn lets Liam press down on the button to take the final picture.

"That's your cover picture," Zayn says softly as they stare down at the screen together.

"Yeah," Liam agrees just as softly. "Proper couply that is."

Liam turns around in Zayn's arms and leans in for a kiss that sends Zayn tumbling back against the grass. He drags a giggling Liam with him, sprawling out on the picnic blanket together, the camera lying forgotten next to them.


End file.
